 |
|  |
 |
|
SnowFire
|
 |
New York City, NY
Jan 1970 time: 00:31
|
|
On the front page of today's Washington Post...
From our wire services
ZURICH, SWITZERLAND- Today, the UN passed Resolution 567, which condemns Russia's recent aggressions, and also asserts that "The USSR is composed of dirty commies. End of story. The UN will happily approve of any vicious beatings other nations choose to apply to it, as long as they clean the stench up."
Russian ambassador to the UN Sergei Vodasky was questioned by reporter Alice Richards about the vote. "Aren't you on the security council? Don't you have a veto, or something?" As the music from the parade of French troops securing the streets passed, Ambassador Vodasky coughed a bit and merely said that "there were, uh, other considerations. And stuff. Yeah. Excuse me." The Ambassador then slunk off toward the VIP corridors, where some soldiers were waiting to help escort him to his room.
The French ambassador seemed enthusiastic, though. "The first step toward reform is knowledge of the problem! The UN has showed it still has valuable things to contribute to the world with its kind declaration of this knowledge. We recommend that all nations register any Russian expatriates in their countries and keep a close eye on them to insure that they don't infect anyone with their silly ideologies. Perhaps baths could be mandated as well." French President SnowFire also lauded the decision. "We completely agree with the UN sentiments! I've recently begun negotiations with Chancellor Stefu to move our troops eastward toward the Russian wastes to become part of an International Peacekeeping force in the Russian lands."
President Bush was ambivalent towards the news. "See, this is further reason that I'm glad we withdrew and kicked the UN out of New York and back to Switzerland. Russia? Who cares about them! They're off somewhere else. Definitely not this continent, I hear. And commies? Didn't my dad get rid of all of them? I think they're just being paranoid." Secretary of War Rumsfeld went on to deliver a report that the latest "body count" against the Quebec territory rebels was one of the highest yet, and they were sure to give up soon. "I'm sure that the Police Force's heroic actions will be resolved shortly. Definitely we'll be all done there within a year or so. Not a long-term issue."
|
|
|  |
 |
|
chegitz guevara
|
 |
Ft. Lauderdale, FL Communist Party of Apolyton
Jun 2000 time: 00:31
|
|
Boshko, given that theserve is acting weird, you should try and find some other way of getting us the map.
Never mind, I guess you did.
Last edited by chegitz guevara on 10-10-2003 at 02:18
|
|
|  |
 |
|
mrmitchell
|
|
On the front page of today's Ukrainian Times...
KIEV-Today in a mysterious announcement, Prime Minister Mrmitchell of the Ukraine said "+1". The entire nation is confused as to what the Minister said; he did not take questions during the press conference and quickly left the room after his two-word speech.
The Ukrainian government silently established the Department of +1 several hours later, whose objective is shrouded in secrecy. At about the same time, lawmakers passed new curriculary standards for Ukraine schools, demanding that new textbooks include chapters on the perils of Ming Math and -10%.
Foreign response to the development was mixed. President Bush uttered an unrepeatable slaughtering of English terminology. European support of +1 varied slightly, with most nations offering cautious support of the new initiative.
|
|
|  |
 |
|  |
All times are GMT. The time now is 05:31. Apolyton Time is 00:31. |
top of page
|
| archivepost |
|
Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
|
|
|
|
|
|