14-10-2003 16:56									#1
	The 2003 "Scapies" Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

"We must hang together, gentleman, or we shall most assuredly all hang separately."

Ben Franklin said that. I look around Apolyton recently, and I notice that a number of us are blaming major societal failures on groups with limited power. Some of us blame the G.O.P., others "liberals," still others the K.K.K. Still others make an empty gesture and blame "society" in general. I am of the opinion that this is frankly unacceptable.

We live in a fast-moving world. We don't have time to bicker endlessly over which special interests are secretly acting towards the downfall of human civilization. I think we all know that only one of these groups really has the influence to crush our lives under its fist like the insignificant gnats we are. We need to come to a consensus here. To that end, I'm forming the possibly annual Scapegoat Awards, depending on how quickly the mods shoot this down as a troll, which it isn't. It's more of a joke.

Global warming, the drug traffic, the continued existence of slavery, our continued inability to fly to the moon by flapping our arms-it's all somebody's fault. Make your voice heard today!

	14-10-2003 17:07									#2
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Theres no Bush-option!? What is this?

	14-10-2003 17:10									#3
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It´s the OTHER`S fault! Alwaaaaays!!!

	14-10-2003 17:12									#4
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Consider him a subsection of "conservative" for the purposes of this poll. I know there's some argument over whether Dubya's truly "conservative," but we're looking for a unified sense of finger-pointing here, not an intelligent debate, so it doesn't matter.

There's a 24-option limit, so I had to narrow it down to major contenders, of which there are many. I'd like it if I could have subcategories like the Emmies-"most malevolent political power," "most dangerous minority," etc., but I'm limited by technology here.

	14-10-2003 17:12									#5
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You missed the most often used and TRUE source of EVERYTHING wrong in the world.

Everything bad in human civilization can be traced back to an act of Congress...................

	14-10-2003 19:04									#6
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It's Skanky's fault, dammit!

	14-10-2003 19:47									#7
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Oh, here comes the Fat Cat bashing.

	14-10-2003 19:51									#8
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And here I was hoping to escape these awards.

	14-10-2003 20:01									#9
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Come on people. Vote "Other" for Skanky! The candidate of choice. The thinking woman's scapegoat.

Join the Burns Unit. Skank along with us!


Come to the Skanky rally.
Bring a friend, bring your partner, but don't forget to bring something you can blame on Skanky!

	14-10-2003 20:36									#10
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What about M$?

	14-10-2003 20:45									#11
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BLAME CANADA!

	14-10-2003 21:35									#12
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You forgot "The Faaaaabulous Pink Mafia"

	14-10-2003 22:19									#13
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I'm afraid Canada is too implausibly weak even for a scapegoat. Any country that likes curling is intrinsically too weak to shape the flow of world events. An actual goat might be believable; they can ram things and eat cans. All Canada can do is threaten to raise the price of maple syrup and beaver fur. They went out of business as a world power with the rise of Hungry Jack and PETA.

But you're right that Microsoft should have been on there. I was trying to cover a wide range of frequent blametakers, but I think I overemphasized conservative phobias. Sorry, guys.

	14-10-2003 22:33									#14
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The mods also have a huge responsibility on the poor state of the world since they prevent consistently enlightened people to express long awaited brilliant solutions.

	14-10-2003 22:39									#15
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This is a retarded question.
All isn't because of one.

	14-10-2003 22:42									#16
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It depends if you believe Genesis 1 or not.

If you do, then it all went wrong when God said "Adam, this is Eve."

If you don't, then it all went wrong when a fish flopped onto the land and forgot to die.

	14-10-2003 23:19									#17
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What about the Black Gay Jewish Conspiracy? Everything bad in this world can be traced back to them and their black, homosexual, Zionist bias.

	15-10-2003 00:07									#18
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quote: Originally posted by SlowwHand This is a retarded question. All isn't because of one.

Well, yes. That's why I wrote, "this is a joke" inside the first post. I don't yearn for Mingapulco so badly that I would seriously suggest that Jews and Homosexuals are responsible for all our problems.

	15-10-2003 05:35									#19
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Christian Coalition. Muslim, Hindu, and Conservative craziness doesn't affect me as much.

	15-10-2003 23:28									#20
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I agree. The others are always guilty of everything!

	16-10-2003 05:35									#21
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the GOP isn't a small group with limited power

they have too much power

	16-10-2003 07:21									#22
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Yes, but the question before us is, can we blame EVERYTHING, up to and including meteors and the continuing ugliness of the fashion industry's offerings, on a GOP conspiracy, while keeping a straight face?

We need a scapegoat of sizable magnitude here, who at the same time is not obviously criminal enough to be actually convicted or removed, so that we have a reliable and unchanging excuse for refusing to implement meaningful societal changes on our own initiative.

	16-10-2003 07:24									#23
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the alignment of the planets has been blamed for an aweful alot as well.

	16-10-2003 07:27									#24
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The liberals because they have no backbone, and the conservatives because they have too much.

	16-10-2003 07:36									#25
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Yes, the Hidden Homosexual Agenda is to blame for the decline of families and of virtue in this fallen nation of Canada.

	16-10-2003 17:41									#26
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Obviously MrFun hasn't seen this yet, or it'd have two votes.

	16-10-2003 17:57									#27
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Haven't you learned anything yet?

Everything bad that happens in the world is caused by Clinton's penis. Clinton's penis makes babies cry and animals suffer. It causes acid rain in Germany and typhoons in South Pacific. Osama worships at the altar of Clinton's penis and Kim Jong-Il aspires to be as big a **** as Clinton's penis is. Clinton's penis has thus far caused Pearl Harbor, Kennedy's assasination, the Bhopal disaster, the Challenger explosion and 9/11. (Not Chernobyl, though, that was caused by Tony Blair's left earlobe.) Clinton's penis is a rod of godly might, a towering powermower, and if we don't sacrifice fair large-haired virgins to it, it will erupt and cover us all with it's red-hot lava.

FEAR AND QUAKE!

	16-10-2003 18:09									#28
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so clinton's got a huge schlong? is that what this administration's about then? compensation?

	17-10-2003 18:49									#29
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Oh, to hell with it. Having read Stefu's post, I conclude that the moral thing to do is just blame everything on the Finns. Otherwise it would be Fat Cats so far.