17-11-2003 04:16									#61
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We need to add this thread to the FAQ. It is always the same story.

	17-11-2003 04:52									#62
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Lorizael, you talked about her and your feelings for her to someone else? And then you casually "discussed" that you are attracted to her with her?

IMHO you've almost blew it. Hard to save it now. You see sometimes girls when they KNOW they "have" someone but for some reason they would like something else, they'll keep you around just to flatter their ego, to still feel they are wanted/attractive even if they are looking for something else and to have someone to REALLY talk to and say it all while they're looking elsewhere.

Nope, very hard. Actually you put yourself in this position, knowing it or not. You had her judge you the way you approached her about this. Never "discuss" your attraction to someone and see if they would kindly respond with a nice structured sentence to your nice structured sentence...

Nope. Full front, with as much confidence as you can gather and the way it's supposed to be. In a magical moment you make your move (or she makes hers) the way your and her body know and want. Not with words.

Just my humble opinion as always, there are no 100% proof "opinions" for those things.

But still, do it, and if she says no, then keep contact with her but look elsewhere. And then use her to make you feel attractive as you are looking for someone else.

Good luck and I'm just saying my opinion, nothing more.

Last edited by Bereta_Eder on 17-11-2003 at 04:57

	17-11-2003 05:09									#63
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concur.

	17-11-2003 05:14									#64
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Stop making me feel sick paiktis

	17-11-2003 05:22									#65
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Sigh... you people don't get it. It's not like I was shocking her by telling her that I was actually attracted to her. She'd known about it for months. We stayed away from the subject because I was in another, very serious relationship with someone else.

My conversation with her wasn't me trying to win her over or get her to date me. It was the two of us trying to deal with a problem. The problem was that I was way too stressed over wanting something more with her, and she was way too stressed about thinking that I might be trying to have something romantic with her.

So we sat down and talked about the issue. Me just coming up and kissing her out of nowhere would have solved nothing.

	17-11-2003 05:25									#66
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quote: Originally posted by Lorizael Sigh... you people don't get it. It's not like I was shocking her by telling her that I was actually attracted to her. She'd known about it for months. We stayed away from the subject because I was in another, very serious relationship with someone else. My conversation with her wasn't me trying to win her over or get her to date me. It was the two of us trying to deal with a problem. The problem was that I was way too stressed over wanting something more with her, and she was way too stressed about thinking that I might be trying to have something romantic with her. So we sat down and talked about the issue. Me just coming up and kissing her out of nowhere would have solved nothing.

Agreed. But the solution is for you to stop running around after her like a puppy at the dinner table who IS NOT going to get fed.

Fine she doesn't want you to kiss her. and OBVIOUSLY she could tell you were attracted to her. The issue is not with her. It's with you. move on.

	17-11-2003 05:34									#67
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I know that's what I have to do of course, but well...

Easier said than done.

	17-11-2003 05:47									#68
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dude, i feel you almost exaclty. I have a VERY similar situation. I found in the end tho that she really ws saying no nicely. That really upset me becasue she led me on for a LONG time. I wasted a long time for nothing. I will never get that time back.

We are still friends, and we both enjoy each others company, thats for sure, but nothing romantic will ever come of it, tho i really thought it should and it almost did a long time ago. She just doesnt want it, and it takes two.
And that is ok, im not bitter or anything, I just wish she would have told me in the beginning that her romantic interests lie elsewhere.

Your situation my be different, it may not be. My suggestion is to play it safe. Maintain that close friendship, and if she ever is rdy, then you'll be right there by her. If she never is "rdy", well, you didnt waste time waiting for her to be. Meet other girls. Befriend them, and maybe they will not be so hesitant to enter romance if your feelings become strong for them as well.

Good Luck. I hope you have more than i did.

	17-11-2003 06:05									#69
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quote: Originally posted by MichaeltheGreat It ain't God, dude, it's her issues and if/how she chooses/chooses not to deal with them. And if she allows/you choose or choose not to participate in that, or wait and see what she does.

This whole thread is pure blasphemy, plain and simple. Lorizeal, I hate to break it to you, but if you die feeling this way you WILL NOT pass through the gate to Heaven.

Lorizeal, God has already accepted you; He has accepted all of us, and He is constantly tugging at the hearts of the unsaved asking them to follow Him. Lorizeal, you must accept God into your heart before he can help you with anything; there is no other way for him to really touch your life unless you accept Him into your heart. . .

http://www.needhim.org/

	17-11-2003 06:15									#70
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quote: Originally posted by Lorizael I know that's what I have to do of course, but well... Easier said than done.

Good man. We are on your side.

Three words for you. Match dot com.

Doesn't matter if you get an instant love of your life. Or get laid. Just go out on a date or three where you have at least a kiss at the end. This will boost your confidence, make the past seem smaller, and put you in a good mood...

	17-11-2003 06:53									#71
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quote: Originally posted by TCO Three words for you. Match dot com.

Even better: Try www.eharmony.com. They have a success rate of 10+ marriages per day! That's at least 3,650 marriages per year or 36,500 in a decade and growing fast!

	17-11-2003 07:35									#72
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quote: Originally posted by Lorizael I know that's what I have to do of course, but well... Easier said than done.

Right then. Good luck

Of course it's hard... habit is stronger than nature they say... but nomatter how hard... but you already know

PH what do you mean?

	17-11-2003 08:02									#73
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Such relationship woes. This is what happens when you bother to find out their names.

	17-11-2003 08:03									#74
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Boris, you're such a slut.

	17-11-2003 08:05									#75
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No, I just have an active libido and poor name/face/phone number retention.

	17-11-2003 08:17									#76
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Lorizael:

How much experience do you have with physical intimacy? It seems to me that you have your own issues to work out.

Anyhow, get over her. It seems like she is not the one for you and wishing isn't going to make anything different.

If you can stay friends with her, do so, but it seems like a little time away from her would do you good.

	17-11-2003 08:18									#77
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lorizael, you got rejected.

	17-11-2003 08:19									#78
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Says the man who's screenname bears a striking resemblance to his luck in the sack.

	17-11-2003 08:25									#79
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im just sour caus ming deleted my thread when i had cuss words few months ago

even so, i was kinda being serious. Im 99% confident in placing bets here. Like boris said, here's a king when it comes to getting rejected.

	17-11-2003 10:25									#80
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I'm actually not looking for a relationship. It just so happens that I think my bestfriend and I could have what I view to be the "perfect relationship" (something based on my philosophy and logic, and would take too long for me to describe here).

I'm really perfectly content without having anyone romantic in my life. I just really want to be with her.

	17-11-2003 10:26									#81
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boris, i hope you dont die an old lonely man.


and Mr. Nice Guy i hope you were joking with that religious spew

	17-11-2003 10:34									#82
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quote: Originally posted by Ben Kenobi Lorizael: How much experience do you have with physical intimacy? It seems to me that you have your own issues to work out.

I've been with one person. I've done almost everything there is to do with that one person. Yah I do have my own issues, but how could you tell that from this thread?

	17-11-2003 10:48									#83
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He's a wise Jedi master. What did you expect?

	17-11-2003 11:13									#84
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Lorizael, I feel for you. I feel that discussing it to the extent you did deserves more credit than it is has been given in this thread. In a similar situation, I was far more reticent and wasted (hopefully) far more time than you will.

I guess your relationship with her will get easier if you try to turn your attention elsewhere for now. However that pans out, this is likely to lead you out of your current bind. And by doing that, it needn't mean that you give up on the two of you for ever.

	17-11-2003 12:11									#85
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mattyboy is right, this is a serious situation. and i respect you for your abilty to come forth with willing ness and abilty to talk about it. tho perhaps the apolyton is too sardonic and pretentious an atmosphere to get serious help. id suggest talking to close friends or relatives. i persoanlly have an older brother who is awesome with these things, and also an uncle, as well as a few good friends. im sure you have someone too.


whatever happens good luck

	17-11-2003 12:30									#86
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quote: Originally posted by Guynemer However, one can't help but wonder if things would have been different if I had just kissed her.

Definitely. Not if's or but's.

Show your passion for her, dammit!

Greeks are very good for that. Supposedly, when a Greek dies, they ask only one question, "Did he have passion?"

	17-11-2003 12:35									#87
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quote: Originally posted by Lorizael I'm actually not looking for a relationship. It just so happens that I think my bestfriend and I could have what I view to be the "perfect relationship" (something based on my philosophy and logic, and would take too long for me to describe here).

You don't have to look for it for Pete sakes. When something drops into your lap, do you just throw it away because you are not looking for it? Do you have a reason to throw it away?

You are single. She is single. You like each other. What more do you need?

	17-11-2003 14:09									#88
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quote: However, one can't help but wonder if things would have been different if I had just kissed her.'

damn, that question used to plague me. I dont care much anymore that ive moved on.... but its still there, just wonderong what could have been...

	17-11-2003 17:03									#89
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You guys aren't helping. Lor, dump the *****. She's leading you on. Stop sniffing what you can't eat. Go find a meal.

	17-11-2003 17:41									#90
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quote: Originally posted by Kramerman boris, i hope you dont die an old lonely man.

I expect to die a lonely man. I will also have lots of dogs and before my body is found, they will have eaten a significant amount of my carcass

And Lori, just try and forget about her. Be celibate - it makes me happy...