05-12-2003 16:41									#61
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hard to tell, ted. the pic is of when she was fifteen... and looks alot like amanda's...

	05-12-2003 16:44									#62
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If I'd take any pics of her now, I'd be in stalker country, and that's just wrong. plus she's in the army now.

	05-12-2003 16:46									#63
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quote: Originally posted by East Street Trader In which case stop thinking about the past and just woo the lass. Maybe you get burned again but that is better than life in emotional limbo.

a: she's got a boyfreind currently. she might play that game, and drew me into it to begin with... but not now. i need to save what integirty i've got left.

as for being burned again... by her? there's nothing left to fuel a fire. she's already consumed my soul it feels like, so no matter what, i'm wandering in an emotional limbo.

	05-12-2003 16:47									#64
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well ****, since we're all posting pictures now. . .

i cropped and edited out the dude she was with, as well as the background scenery . . . (incidentally, it was taken at the top of the world trade center)

Attachment: katie.jpg
This has been downloaded 71 time(s).

	05-12-2003 16:50									#65
	Got spare money?

i feel your pain, connor.

the thing is, i've had gfs that were more supportive, nicer to me, and entirely better in bed than amanda. but i'm pining for her. more likely though, the way i felt when i was with her.

	05-12-2003 16:54									#66
	Got spare money?

maybe it's not about her

maybe it's about you

maybe you have something to prove and she's the only one you feel like can validate it

	05-12-2003 16:56									#67
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quote: the thing is, i've had gfs that were more supportive, nicer to me, and entirely better in bed than amanda. but i'm pining for her. more likely though, the way i felt when i was with her.

I as well. . . never all of those in the same person, but all of those in several people I've dated since . . .

i think Ted just hit the nail on the head. . .

	05-12-2003 17:00									#68
	Inflate your Upload Space

quite possible, ted. let's hope to god i can prove to here whatever my subconscious needs to prove, because i'm facking tired of this shizzle.

and now, the sun is coming up, and i need to be up around one in the afternoon... that leaves about six hours between then and now.

and i'm not concerned with her finding our chat transcripts here. the vain little thing would probably like that we're talking about her.

	05-12-2003 17:01									#69
	Got spare money?

probably she'd be pissed about what i had to say about her too.

but that would only show that i'm right. . .

	05-12-2003 17:04									#70
	Tired of ads?

no. i think she'd deny it, but be proud. in either event two things are going to happen.

i'm going to bed, instead of reading one more fackin' post here, and

i'm going to incorporate this in this story i'm writing... somehow.

	05-12-2003 17:17									#71
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

quote: Originally posted by self biased i'm going to incorporate this in this story i'm writing... somehow.

Just try to integrate it smoothly:

quote: Silence fell over the group as they entered the room. Tina gasped and dropped her glass; it shattered on the floor. Mrs. Hartleby lay on the table, eyes staring glassily at the ceiling, a knife buried in her chest up to the hilt. "But-but-but how?" Joe stuttered. "We caught the murderer! It was Bob, wasn't it? Wasn't it?" They all turned and looked at Roy expectantly. The grizzled detective puffed thoughtfully on his pipe for a few minutes. Finally he spoke. "No," he said, "I don't think it was. Bob must have been set up." Katie looked horrified. "Golly! By who?" Roy's face grew more solemn still. "I don't know. But I begin to detect the evil hand of my old arch-nemesis." "You don't mean-" "Yes! It was that stuck-up goth ho Amanda!" "GASP!"

Not too realistic, right?

	05-12-2003 20:03									#72
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But life in the fire is so damned exilerating. Why do you think the moth is attracted to the flame?

At my age, I wouldn't do it. But if I were young still, hell yeah I would. Second time around, you get it out of yur system, have some great sex, and move on.

	05-12-2003 20:17									#73
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

My guess is that some day she'll convert to fundamentalist Christianity. Heck, she'll probably become one of these hard-core, looney "end-of-times" people. Maybe what she really wants is an all dominating spiritual master, sorta like that guy at Waco.

	05-12-2003 20:40									#74
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Wow Az, she's gorgeous even at 15. Looks like a real sweetheart who becomes fast paced beyond your own security and temporary confidence a la entry to high school. Kind of like this one

(didn't she gain weight by this senior year - though.)

Attachment: harpee.jpg
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	06-12-2003 00:57									#75
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

thanks for the insight guys... i might have only gotten a few hours sleep, but i was certainly more at rest...

and my roommat had several choice words to say about her... something about bludgening the monster that's inhabiting her to death with his penis....

	06-12-2003 01:27									#76
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

quote: Originally posted by Zylka Wow Az, she's gorgeous even at 15. Looks like a real sweetheart who becomes fast paced beyond your own security and temporary confidence a la entry to high school. Kind of like this one

Yeah, well, **** it. There was no relationship there. It started with us being friends at junior high, and me thinking "she's the kind of girl I want", beginning of 10th grade, some playing around, and then, older boyfriend, end of story. She started hanging out with some other bunch of people that I don't know.



You should've seen her in a short dress, though.

	06-12-2003 01:28									#77
	Full PM-box? Change here!

shame too, you can tell she has a pretty face. Why hide it with all that muck?

	06-12-2003 02:45									#78
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

That's a bit of tough nut you're having there self. But although it's maybe a bit out of touch to say this, you should have it fairly easy to break off contact. All you need to do to is to not search for it. It's much worse if a girl like that one crawls back to you every time you try to keep a distance.

	06-12-2003 02:47									#79
	Inflate your Upload Space

sel biased; don't get back with together with her just have meaningless sex.

	06-12-2003 02:59									#80
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I like cute goths, although their attitude leaves a lot to be desired.

	06-12-2003 03:02									#81
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Zylka, I've just realized that the girl on the pic reminds me of someone.


It's a common story, though. Nothing to do but to face it, and get over it as fast as possible.

	06-12-2003 12:36									#82
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after a long bout of meditation on the subject, i find myself more at ease than i have been for a while. my new freind are at the moment digesting and comparing notes as to what we know... thank you again, all for your input. i think i might finally be able to put this behind me, once and for all.

	06-12-2003 14:11									#83
	Increase the size of your Attachments

that's great.

	06-12-2003 14:14									#84
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yaaay!

I'm already sick of hearing about this.

self biased I know it's tough, but I don't think you love yourself enough to be in a relationship if it is this difficult for you to deal with realtionships... it shouldn't be this hard, and that, my friend, is your problem.

	06-12-2003 14:27									#85
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

japher, i figured something out over the last twenty-four hours:

it's not amanda i've been pining for, per se, rather the feeling that i had when i was with her. i suspected this might be the case, but it's been a greiving process. one which i apparently had put off for quite some time.

and i love myself plenty. sometimes even two or three times a day.

	06-12-2003 14:33									#86
	Got spare money?

eewwww

	06-12-2003 14:34									#87
	Remove this text

btw she do look cute, but a ballbreaker.

Look for someone else. If you want to talk to her fine, but don't play her game.

	06-12-2003 14:43									#88
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i have no intention of going back to her.

she's not really a person at this point in time, and doesn't see herself as human. she wants to attain this state of being this perfect monstrosity or something. all i know is that, as every minute goes by, i'm getting over her.

	06-12-2003 14:58									#89
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I agree with whoever said it, that she's most likely insecure and building a wall between her and whatever she identifies as 'painful'.
She's also fairly young, right? Youth+goth=highly insecure 9 times outta 10.

	06-12-2003 15:06									#90
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

only a year younger than i. it's tragic though. apparently she's been doing alot of drugs, too. which is uncharacteristic for her. when she and i dated, she was staunchly anti-drug. bottom line is that she's afraid to be herself, and has created this 'monster' to live her life for her.

oh, well. to each their own.