04-01-2004 23:36									#1
	Let Me Tell You About What Boann Sent Me For Christmas Full PM-box? Change here!

I've not been online much the last couple, and now you'll understand why.

Christmas Eve eve day, and I get this CARE package from Boann.
It's this box of hot sauces, a bottle of salsa, and hot peanuts.

So I look at this one bottle of hot sauce, and it has this warning attached, "Use 1 Drop Only".
Oh, well. **** me. I'm not messing with THAT right now.

So I check out this can of peanuts.
Again, it's talking about warnings and such.
I figure, wtf, I'm a tough-guy.
Plop, a handful in a beer.
Not only did the peanuts retain their heat, they turned the beer into like a can of molten lava.
Tasty.

Emboldened, I decide to check out the salsa.
There are no warnings, to speak of.
So I do what one could consider an ordinary and average dip of a tortilla chip into the salsa, pop it in my mouth.
At the same time, I'm dipping a 2nd chip.
The heat from the first overtakes me so quickly and completely, I lose my head and chomp the 2nd chip down right behind the first.
I'm in agony.
My tongue is hurting soooo badly.

You know that part of tongue that holds it down to the bottom palate of your mouth so as it doesn't go flapping around ?
Severed by heat.
So my old tongue is just a-flopping around as I say
"Oh no. It ih ooo ot!" Hard to say when one's tongue is uncontrollable.
So i reach in my mouth with my hands, try to get the tongue under control. Straightened out. Useable.
The salsa residue flames the tips of my fingers.
Blisters them. Burns off my finger prints.

They took me to the hospital and did a skin-graft to anchor down my tongue.
The fingers are now healed, but no prints will return.

I have mixed emotions about my CARE package.

	04-01-2004 23:46									#2
	Increase Your PM Length

You put peanuts in your beer? Are you crazy?

I got my dad the world's hotest hot sauces. I had to sign a disclaimer to buy it. I tried one of them. One drop was quite nice, very tastey, with nice heat and it lingered for a while. Then I ate another shrimp with a second drop. Too much, too soon.

	04-01-2004 23:47									#3
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DE-licious.

	04-01-2004 23:53									#4
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Sounds like that salsa was something Frodo could've used, to spare him the trip to Mount Doom.

[/badjoke]

	05-01-2004 01:43									#5
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hes such a whinner....

	05-01-2004 01:48									#6
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Isn't he.

	05-01-2004 03:51									#7
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I was expecting she sent you a lock of her hair and a copy of The Bridges of Madison County.

*runs*

	05-01-2004 07:04									#9
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I drank an entire bottle of tabasco. It is not so much hot in your mouth as has the feeling of being punched in the stomache. When you throw up afterwards, blood comes up.

	05-01-2004 07:04									#10
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

wtf?????

when did you do this?

	05-01-2004 07:42									#11
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quote: Originally posted by TCO I drank an entire bottle of tabasco. It is not so much hot in your mouth as has the feeling of being punched in the stomache. When you throw up afterwards, blood comes up.

	05-01-2004 08:29									#12
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara I got my dad the world's hotest hot sauces. I had to sign a disclaimer to buy it.

Wow, I want one of these!

	05-01-2004 08:31									#13
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quote: Originally posted by TCO I drank an entire bottle of tabasco. It is not so much hot in your mouth as has the feeling of being punched in the stomache. When you throw up afterwards, blood comes up.

I'm coming to Washington in 2 weeks. Would you mind repeating the feat for DanS and I?

	05-01-2004 08:37									#14
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

I was shooting tabasco at a bar until the waitress took it away from me

later I was kicked out, my freinds think that there is a link

Jon Miller

	05-01-2004 08:43									#15
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btw

I was going to guess Coal

Jon Miller

	05-01-2004 08:44									#16
	Full PM-box? Change here!

I didn't throw up afterwards

and had no ill effects

I was drunk that night though, couldn't stand up for a hwile

Jon Miller

	05-01-2004 08:54									#17
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

quote: Originally posted by MrFun

Plebe year. Army week at the Naval Academy. I am easily provoked into displays of bravado. Only plebe in my company willing to do it...but there were several across the brigade. Were guys puking in the chow hall and just outside. I made this big show of acting tough...but it was not fun sitting through dinner. Afterwards, were a bunch of plebes in the head outside the chow hall exchanging advice on whether it does damage to your ******* if you don't puke. I had no problem yakking in a stall.

don't actually remember a taste of hotness. Just remember sensation of pain as if punched in stomache.

Not really that bad or antyhing. Don't know of anyone getting injured. But it was wierd seeing blood in the throwup...

	05-01-2004 08:55									#18
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azzterixes = azzhole

	05-01-2004 08:59									#19
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Hey TCO, I really would like to meet you. What do you say?

	05-01-2004 09:01									#20
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yah

we shoudl have another meet

Jon Miller

	05-01-2004 19:24									#21
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quote: Originally posted by TCO Plebe year. Army week at the Naval Academy. I am easily provoked into displays of bravado. Only plebe in my company willing to do it...but there were several across the brigade. Were guys puking in the chow hall and just outside. I made this big show of acting tough...but it was not fun sitting through dinner. Afterwards, were a bunch of plebes in the head outside the chow hall exchanging advice on whether it does damage to your ******* if you don't puke. I had no problem yakking in a stall. don't actually remember a taste of hotness. Just remember sensation of pain as if punched in stomache. Not really that bad or antyhing. Don't know of anyone getting injured. But it was wierd seeing blood in the throwup...

okaaaaaaaaay

	05-01-2004 19:43									#22
	Got spare money?

quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara You put peanuts in your beer? Are you crazy?

Foreigner. That's what peanuts are for. They go in beer or Dr Pepper. Why do you think they invented bottle necks? To funnel the peanuts into your mouth.

	05-01-2004 20:45									#23
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"I'm in agony.
My tongue is hurting soooo badly."

http://www.davesgourmet.com/introduction.html

uhh thats why its called insanity sauce

	05-01-2004 20:56									#24
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

My brother Craig finally got his snout into the salsa after a night at the Post.
Came barrel-assing out of his room looking for crackers and/or milk.
Serves him right.

	05-01-2004 21:42									#26
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Serves you right for ruining good beer with peanuts.

	05-01-2004 23:11									#27
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Ah, don't worry. Slowwy claims to be All-American, which means he drank American beer. And we all know "good american beer" is an oxymoron.
No real beers were harmed in the making of this thread.

	06-01-2004 00:04									#28
	Put an end to popups!

quote: Wow, I want one of these!

Eh... isn't all it is cracked up to be. Those Habenero extracts are hot as HELL and really make things unedible... well unless you want to feel it when you sit on the toilet .

	06-01-2004 00:18									#29
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

quote: Originally posted by Urban Ranger Wow, I want one of these!

Gimme yer address and $50 US and I'll send you a set.

	06-01-2004 00:26									#30
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Let's get this straight before we go any further.

I never claimed to be an All-American, and anyone who has never had nuts with beer, only has a passing aquaintance with drinking beer.