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Kody
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If life's standing still and your soul's confused
Jun 2003
time: 14:35
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Just a psychiatry thoughts.
Has anyone ever thought deeply about the actions they take and why they take them? I’ve come to two possible conclusions that are possibly conflicting.
Firstly, that it’s impossible to actually understand yourself as every time you fully understand an aspect of yourself it changes from that understanding.
Secondly, by blinding believing in an attribute of yourself you can actually make that attribute come true. So for example if you believe that you are generous you will be generous. I’m guessing that’s also why sometimes certain events will break someone’s conception of themselves and they may have a change in the way they act.
The contradiction that perhaps isn’t a contradiction is that if you blindly believe that you are a certain way then you’ll be right and hence you do fully understand yourself. Possibly this contradiction could be resolved if the first statement isn’t true, but is instead that if you question who you are you then you change yourself and hence if you keep questioning who you are then you will never fully understand yourself as by questioning yourself you're constantly changing yourself.
I guess that means it is possible to change the things that you dislike about yourself by believing that you are able to change. Then doing things to convince yourself that you have changed, and once you've convinced yourself it becomes true.
Although I don't know if there are fundamental personality traits that cannot change. What I suspect instead is that if you convince yourself of a personality trait against your nature you'll be more uncomfortable about it than normal, but will still carry that personality trait that you believe you have.
This effect would explain why children will often act as their parents expect them to do, whether it's bad or good. This effect is more noticable as the children have a less fixed view of how their personality is.
I know what I want to change about myself. Be as hardworking as I originally and blindly believed myself to me before I started questioning myself. Also to be a little less beholden to what other people think of me, I think I overcompenstated when I decided to start caring.
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Kody
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If life's standing still and your soul's confused
Jun 2003
time: 14:35
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There's something else. I know there is, but can't figure out what's nagging me.
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Kody
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If life's standing still and your soul's confused
Jun 2003
time: 14:35
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Every action you take has feedback, consequences that you precieve as good and bad and that reinforces or changes how you act in the future.
This can causes concious or subconcious changes in your personality..... So the trick would be aware of subconcious changes and make the decision concious by thinking about. Either that or re-evaluate the things that you usually do and adjust to what you want every now and again.
This would explain why people drift from the archetypical personality types as their experiences can change the details of the way they act.
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Kody
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If life's standing still and your soul's confused
Jun 2003
time: 14:35
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Will power is a personality trait too Honghu.
But maybe it comes down to really believing that you can change. To do that either you have to accept the paradigm fully, or to prove it to yourself in a way that overrides your past experiences.
As for the drawing thing, that's not a personality trait, that's a skill of your son's.
I'm not arguing that if you believe that you can do something you can do it. Rather I'm thinking that the way you react and the things you decide to do are determined by the way you see yourself, and past experiences that reinforce or undermine the way you see yourself.
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Kody
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If life's standing still and your soul's confused
Jun 2003
time: 14:35
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Yeah yeah I know.
Still understanding things allows you to change yourself.
I used to not care must what anyone else thought, of course that made it a bit difficult to make new friends when my parents moved. Also my parents complained and started saying I was loser having no friends (yeah thanks mum and dad!!!). I got upset when my parents brought that up one too many times and was also kindof lonely during the breaks, so I went into the completely opposite direction. In retrospect I really overcompensated (I was 11 at the time), basically basing alot of things around finding acceptance and I made quite a few personality changes to myself.
Anyway to tell the truth just about my every action that you guys have seen has stemmed from finding acceptance.
The efforts in the Hive were because I liked the sense of community that used to be in the private forums and was making darn sure I wouldn't lose that. The posts explaining things in the strategy forum are because I made a personality change a while back to help people whenever I can.
The whining and grumping I sometimes show was mainly an effort to balance against any respect I was getting because I was worried that people would envy me and my experience is it is better to be average to gain acceptance.
The whole honor, and telling the truth thing, personality changes that people like.
There's only a things I can think of that doesn't seem to result from the set of personality changes I instigated. I usually have a soft spot for the underdog and hate seeing other people suffer. That I traced back to a primary school teacher that taught me about thinking what it is like to be in other people's shoes. Also from the same primary school teacher I have a strong aversion of all drugs and alcohol. So strong that my friends that drink haven't yet managed to get me to like alcohol even though they've made a fairly good effort at getting me to drink. I can also get quite stubborn sometimes, but thinking back my parents mainly told me I was stubborn and thinking back it was undeserving when they originally made those comments.
It makes you wonder how much of your personality is actually natural, or maybe I'm just different in that I was conciously changing how I act when I was quite young.
And why am I posting this all here, perhaps because it's fairly early in the morning, the fact that I know when people understand you they have an easier time accepting you, and also because I seem to have gotten used to working through thoughts and ideas on the apolyton forums.... must be all the strategy/idea posts I've put here. 
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Comrade Tassadar
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Are you a child?
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29-04-2004 00:08
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