19-05-2004 00:35									#1
	"alternative" games Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

SMAC - published by Taketwo, this game of inner city drug dealing and gang violence also addresses the problem of poor spelling education in inner city schools.

Zelda - A. An personality sim/adventure in which you must successfully publish the great American novel, while dealing with an insane wife, and fending off alcoholism.
B. A tycoon game in which you are a 1920s new york publisher/editor dealing with famous writers like F. Scott Fitzgerald, Hemingway, etc

Halo - an RPG in which your character starts as a level one cherub, and must fight devils, provide assistance to humans, and carry out missions from archangels. As you move to higher levels, you may even encounter a Higher Being. Recommended by Christian Gamer Magazine.

Pirates! A game in which you play a software publisher, and must make strategic decisions such as how much effort to put into copy protection, legal cases, etc. In special mod you go to China and track down illegal CD's.



Ok, you get the idea. Take a well known game, and provide a description of an alternative game suggested by the games title - what someone MIGHT have thought the game was about.

	19-05-2004 01:35									#2
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

Worms - a vet simulation game.
Space Invaders - a game about killing those fat people who stand too close to you on hot days. Best seller in the USA.

-Jam

	19-05-2004 03:36									#3
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

Sims - Hunt down rogue simulants in this futuristic FPS game, with no damn addons and featuring actual goals, gameplay, and non-suckiness.

	19-05-2004 04:01									#4
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

Duke Nukem - Wage nuclear war in 16th century Europe.

	19-05-2004 04:09									#5
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Ghost Recon- Help Luigi save Mario from the evil ghosts

	19-05-2004 04:28									#6
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Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell

Your name: Sam Fisher
Your profession: Woodchip wholesaler

	19-05-2004 04:53									#7
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Fusion Frenzy: Fufill your scientist dreams!

	19-05-2004 05:31									#8
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

No One Lives Forever - You are a ghost who wants to find eternal sleep (Planescape II )

Dungeon Siege - A real time stategy game where you attempt to take over a mad scientists monsterific dungeon

Red Alert - Submarine warfare simulation at its finest

	19-05-2004 05:36									#9
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Starcraft - The ultimate god sim. Create entire galaxies as you make and shape stars.

	19-05-2004 08:56									#10
	Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

Morrowind - Change tomorrow's weather today with this accurate simulator.

Thief - Now with more copy protection. Try to discover the 256 bit product key.

	19-05-2004 14:33									#11
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

Your mission is to fit as many carnal pleasures into 24 hours as is humanly possible?

	19-05-2004 15:30									#12
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

Baldur`s Gate - an exciting simulator in which you learn to repair doors, furniture and how to change the lightbulb

	19-05-2004 17:59									#13
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

Rise of Nations - Compete with porn industries around the world...

	19-05-2004 18:37									#14
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Call to Power - The ultimate utility company simulator. Control a nations power and telecommunications grid.

Pirates - Attempt to find, crack and release new games before other groups do.

Fallout - Improve your cubby-house's safety by installing rails, non-slip carpet or perhaps safety nets below. Can you stop people falling out of the cubby house?

Elite - 533 if j00 c4n b t3h b357 h4x0r 0n t3h b10c|<
(see if you can be the best hacker on the block)

Tie Fighter - Deathmatch in a corporate environment.

	19-05-2004 18:41									#15
	Remove this text

quote: Originally posted by General Ludd Duke Nukem - Wage nuclear war in 16th century Europe.

OTOH, isnt that Civ2?

	19-05-2004 18:44									#16
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Neverwinter Nights - a holiday inside the Arctic Circle. Defend yourself against lunatic Finns.

	19-05-2004 18:47									#17
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

[QUOTE] Originally posted by Skanky Burns

quote: Call to Power - The ultimate utility company simulator. Control a nations power and telecommunications grid.

by Maxis of course. Will Wright would be so proud!

quote: Pirates - Attempt to find, crack and release new games before other groups do.

Of course this copies (slightly differently) what was in my original post. Which makes this in fact the wittiest contribution so far - what am I gonna do, sue you? You could always claim "fair use"

quote: Fallout - Improve your cubby-house's safety by installing rails, non-slip carpet or perhaps safety nets below. Can you stop people falling out of the cubby house? Elite - 533 if j00 c4n b t3h b357 h4x0r 0n t3h b10c|< (see if you can be the best hacker on the block)

1111! Pawned!!! How about a Myst style puzzle game in which you simply have to decipher l337 speak. That would be as challenging, and as unpleasant, as the original Myst.

	19-05-2004 18:48									#18
	Full PM-box? Change here!

Day of the Tentacle - A game in which you play an anime publishing house.

	19-05-2004 18:50									#19
	Put an end to popups!

Hearts of Iron: Be an evil scientist! Make killer robots! Do not get caught! Conquer the world!

	19-05-2004 18:52									#20
	Suffering from ads?

Hearts of Iron: Get those clothes pressed in record time! With new Playstation-iron link-up cable.

	19-05-2004 18:54									#21
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

quote: quote: Pirates - Attempt to find, crack and release new games before other groups do. Of course this copies (slightly differently) what was in my original post. Which makes this in fact the wittiest contribution so far - what am I gonna do, sue you? You could always claim "fair use"

The irony is delicious.
Of course, my idea is the polar opposite of yours. I did remember you posting the game so checked to make sure I wan't merely duplicating yours. Besides, the original idea has been "abandoned" by its owner, so is now public domain.

	19-05-2004 19:21									#22
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NBA Jam - Swap PB&J recipies with your favorite pro athelets

	19-05-2004 19:44									#23
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Sensible Soccer - The players are all wrapped up nice and warm, with thick scarves, and aren't allowed to run around too much or play too roughly in case they hurt themselves.

	19-05-2004 19:48									#24
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

Grand Theft Auto - The game logs automatically into your bank account and transfers $1,000 to a numbered Swiss acount belonging to the programmers.

-Jam

	19-05-2004 20:19									#25
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

Final Fantasy - A game based on Friends which keeps producing sequels even though the programmers say each one will be the last.

	19-05-2004 20:55									#26
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quote: Originally posted by lord of the mark quote: Pirates - Attempt to find, crack and release new games before other groups do. Of course this copies (slightly differently) what was in my original post. Which makes this in fact the wittiest contribution so far

Don't give Skanky too much credit for his usual Skimsying.

	19-05-2004 21:34									#27
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

quote: Originally posted by duke o' york Neverwinter Nights - a holiday inside the Arctic Circle. Defend yourself against lunatic Finns.

Remember the movie "White Nights" about a Russian emigre dancer who gets caught back in the USSR through a plane crash and is exiled to the Arctic? With the implicit play on "white knights" and the racial elements (his handler is a black American tap dancer who left America during Viet Nam and is married to a Russian woman). Wouldnt White Knights be a more "obvious" title for a medieval fantasy RPG than Never Winter Nights? (of course the name "Neverwinter" is from the preexisting DnD Forgotten Realms World)

	19-05-2004 21:37									#28
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

Civilisation(sic) - an educational game based on the Kenneth Clarke series.

	19-05-2004 22:09									#29
	Inflate your Upload Space

Pools of radiance - yet another x-pack for "The Sims"

	19-05-2004 22:17									#30
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Pac-Man: Having been bitten by a radioactive rapper by the name of Tupac you aquire super human abilities to make money long after you die... Manage your career from the afterlife.

Master of Magic: You are an antibody fighting off HIV within the body of Magic Johnson.

Myst: Your job, if you chose to accept it, is to keep the nude models glistening wet. Don't let the hotties dry out, or you will be forced to work as jizmop!