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DarkCloud
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of Lists
Jul 2000
time: 05:37
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Chapter 1: Alone in the Shadows
At the Apolytonia National Convention of the Three Major parties across the lands, tensions were running high.
SPAM looked as though it, led by its charismatic Chairperson Chaunk and Presidential Candidate (and former Senator) Zopperoni, was in a prime position to seize the Presidency out of the deathtight grasp of President General Ludd of MOD.
The upset was predicted due to massive falling popularity numbers on the part of the President for his notorious Anti-Spam,Anti-Troll,Anti-Flame bill which (although not yet passed), sought to ban Spamming, Trolling, and Flaming from Apolytonia FOREVER!
Many normal citizens feared that these bannings would lead to martial law and invasions of privacy, so they rallied around the SPAM party with grassroots campaigns designed to destroy the monolitic MOD party which had controlled the forums for 34 consecutive years (ever since 12-31-1969) without any reasonable challengers.
All previous challengers had either 'lost' the election (with suspicion of rigging), or been eliminated or thrown in jail.
This election, however, was watched by the entire world- most notably by the traditionally democratic CivFanaticsConfederation and the economic-bloc nations of CGN- thereby guaranteeing that MOD could no longer use its heavy-handed tactics to ensure its power remained.
Therefore, many feared that MOD would utilize underhanded intimidation. In order to combat this, the United Nations dispatched guards representing nations as varied as those from Mexican Zona Network, CGN, and CFC and assigned them to protect the Convention members.
Things were looking great, Lurker’s United Presidential Candidate Vovan had just completed a rousing speech extoling the virtues of constancy and the need for smaller government. Just as soon as Vovan went behind the curtain and the music started to play, announcing the General President’s entrance to the Stage, the lights went out and a huge explosion rocked the building, sending dust and ash down onto the stage, covering the candidates and sending them into coughing fits.
The UN Guards and the Apolytonia MOD-paid guards leaped into action, rushing to seal the exits.
Then the security system kicked in. After being activated, the system shutdown the entire building- sectioning off the Politicians from the Crowd and leaving them alone in the dark.
*
When the dust settled, Secretariat Nuclear Master of LU sprang into action, taking account of their situation and seeing to the wounded of his party, using duct tape and rolled paper to staunch their bleeding.
Secretariat Jonny however, incensed by the explosion, immediately strode over to the MOD delegation, demanding to speak to the President General. The two guards, Jon Miller and duke o’York blocked his way with their well-muscled bodies and refused to let him pass.
Screaming over their heads, Jonny shook his fist at the President and demanded justice. “You cannot silence us with bombs!” He screamed. “We will topple your power!”
The President, shrouded in the shadows of the speaking-pulpit, crept further into them, speaking in a hushed voice with his Party Chairman Spaced Cowboy and Vice President Skanky Burns.
Secretary of State Theben, however, had decided to use this blackout as an opportunity to eliminate the competition. Handgun in hand, he crept in the dark toward the SPAM delegation, intending to assassinate the Presidential Candidate. As he lurked in the shadows, he listened to the Candidate hyperventillate.
“I can’t do this. I just can’t- we’re all doomed!” Zopperoni shook his head. Chairperson Chaunk, ever staunch, shook him and attempted to calm him down. “No!” Zopperoni seethed. “I cannot. We will all perish- General Ludd set us up for this- he wants to die.”
Chaunk assured him that it did the General no good to activate a bomb and that they would be free from the lock-down within 24 hours. Speechwriter joncha chose that moment to speak up. “Actually.” He started, raising a pen from his black-papered steno-pad. “If the bomb exploded in the right place, it might have destroyed the fail-safes... And also- General Ludd could, as Zopperoni stated, kill us all and blame it on the bomb?”
Zopperoni fainted.
Chairperson Chaunk glared at joncha with steel-gray eyes.
Campaign Manager Imran Siddiqui rushed to Zopperoni’s side and fanned him with his coattails.
Joncha shrugged, speaking in a nasally voice. “Someone had to tell him.”
Chaunk crossed his arms. “There is no problem.” His hand went to pat his thigh. “I have protection.”
“Isn’t that illegal?” Joncha leaned forward.
“And you would claim you have brought nothing to defend yourself with?”
“Well...” Joncha shrugged. “Maybe...” He tapped his sharp-pointed pen against his steno pad.
A light appeared at his shoulder, illluminating and lengthening his shadow. Startled, he twisted around. “Oh,” He sighed. “It’s just you.”
SPAM party Vice Presidential Candidate Rasputin towered over joncha holding a flash-light.
“Good thing I brought this.” He stated, turning the light over in his hands.
“Indeed.” Chairperson Chaunk looked up at the light. He started to say something, but thought he heard a noise. Motioning for Rasputin to bend down low, Chaunk whispered something into the seven foot six giant’s ear. Rasputin nodded and smacked the light against his meaty hands, then walked off.
Theben panicked. Rasputin had a flashlight. Theben might be seen in the illumination, his cover destroyed. “D-n the man for bringing his light!” Theben cursed and pocketed his gun. There would be other chances later. He headed back toward General President Ludd, but had to melt into the shadows when he heard two sets of footsteps approach.
“gjramsey, I want this to go perfect.” The first voice demanded.
“Oh it will. It will indeed.” The second male voice nodded. “I know where the power-switch is. I used to work in this building, remember.”
“Ah yes, Doctor Spike, I do remember that- your lowly days before you earned you M.D.”
“True.” Spike sighed. “You know, I really should be administering aid to the others instead of searching for the switch.”
“But you know General Ludd’s plan, do you not?” G. J. Ramsey insisted.
Spike nodded. “I heard him discussing it earlier. Murder most foul.”
“But you brought your scalpel and tools, did you not?” Ramsey inquired.
“Indeed.” Spike sighed. “I have.”
“Then let’s find the breaker-box and you won’t have to use them.”
“And let us pray that the bomb did not disable it.”
Theben, now alone in the shadows, rushed toward President General Ludd all the faster now, to tell him what he had heard.
...
When he hit the ground five minutes later, he never knew what had hit him.
...
They found him six hours later. Doctor Spike pronounced him dead of neck wounds.
President General Ludd immediately demanded justice, ordering his Body Guards to track down the killer and destroy him.
Chairperson Chaunk of SPAM, however, had another suggestion. “Perhaps...” He started. “We should vote and determine who we think the killer is before jumping to any hasty conclusions?” He looked ravenously at the General.
General Ludd scowled. “Only if the votes are secret.” He demanded. “And only if my Bodyguards may count the votes.”
“Agreed.” Chairperson Chaunk smiled wretchedly, then turned away.
The Voting May begin!
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24-06-2004 20:08
I guess I won't be a good member of the SPAM party if I didn't post here at least once before making my mind up who to vote for.
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