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Hive mindstuff is:
This poll is closed. |
| Great! |
   |
1 |
4.17% |
| Excellent! |
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0 |
0% |
I see dancing  again! |
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4 |
16.67% |
| It sucks. |
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2 |
8.33% |
| It is good, but there are better things. |
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0 |
0% |
| I prefer eating xenoparrots. |
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3 |
12.50% |
| Are there any xexenoxenodoughnuts? |
|
4 |
16.67% |
| It is one of worst things ever. |
|
1 |
4.17% |
| I am a drone. I need to get to work. |
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3 |
12.50% |
| I only drink xenobrew. |
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6 |
25.00% |
| Total: |
24 voters |
100% |
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Illuminatus
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Salvaging Unity Fusion Core
Jul 2003
time: 06:23
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Deep inside the Hive Empire, a mysterious place can be found, where weird things happen everyday. But we are not going to talk about Chairman’s Yang bedroom and his collection of teddybears.
Instead, we are going to talk about the feeding bay in Hive, where common drones eat terrible food everyday, where common drones vomit terrible food everyday, where common drones are nervestapled for vomitting terrible food everyday, and where Hive mind stuff is served every day. 
There, our heroes wake up captured to look at face of their tormentor, Chairman Yang.
‘Kill them!’ – said Yang.
And so our heroes died.
But this is not end of our story, for there was a group of unimportant episode characters captured too.
GeoModder awakened to find himself in cell, along with the rest of Recreation Commons patrons. ‘Wow, that was some crazy night indeed.’ As the rest of patrons awakened, GeoModder looked around. ‘Does anyone know where we are?’ –asked Method. 'It is wet, dirty, it stinks and it is undergorund – we are in men's WC.' – Kassiopeia deduced.
‘At last! You have came to save me!’ – a voice whispered from the wall.
As heads turned to wall they spotted a man chained to wall.
‘I knew you will come.’
‘Red! Is that you?’ –asked Ouro.
‘Yes, it is me. While getting Hive Mind stuff I was captured by Hive patrols and thrown into cell in the Hive. It seems you finaly got the message I sent you via xenoparrot.’
‘Yeeess. We did. We came to save you.’ –said Skanky, coughing out some feathers. ‘I knew that parrots normally do not have datachips on their legs.’ – said Skanky to himself.
‘But why are you all here? Is this some complicated sort of plan to rescue me? Did you voluntary surrender to Hive forces to rescue me? I sent you data on impending assault thorugh other xenoparrot.’
‘Those #$%& parrots! I should not have done it twice.’ –said Skanky coughing out some more feathers.
‘To be frank with you Red, we did not. We were captured while we were probably asleep. I am sorry. We are not her to save you. And don’t ask about your parrots – that Spartan got them.’ – smacksim said while looking frowning at Skanky.
Method suddenly got an idea – ‘Hey! How did we get here? Hive is so far away form the original bar and it is unlikely that they got there by land. How did we get to Hive in only couple of hours? This is impossible!’
A passing by Hive guard shots Method. – No pointing out of plotholes.
Red. –‘You were captured? You were not warned about the attack and the spy among our ranks?’
‘ Spy? Who is the spy?’ –asked Hong, err Snowflake.
‘Who indeed? Har, har, har.’ – a male voice startled the former patrons.
They looked towards the source of voice and they saw – Comrade Tassadar standing in front of their cell, followed by Hive guards.
 - But why?
‘Chairman Yang promised me tons and tons of spam in exchange for my betrayal. I accepted! Oh and I am evil! And commie too! Har, har, har!’
‘At least you are not a Finn’- muttered Lemmy.
‘Oh no! You did not receive any of my three xenoparrot messages! We are doomed!’ –cried Red.
‘Three parrots? I only ate two.’ – Skanky said in surprise.
‘That means…’
Suddenly gunfire sounds and explosions started to shake Hive.
‘Oh no – it is Illuminatus, leading an army of  things! Run for your er I mean fight for communism to your death!’ – said Tassadar before he ran away.
A blast opened the door of their cell.
‘Quickly! Follow me if you want to live.’ – said Illuminatus.
‘You received the third message!’ –cryed Red in happiness.
‘Yes, but it was already too late. So I decided to get you out with an army of .
‘You are truly a great man!’ –said Maniac,
‘No, you still haven’t paid your bills.’ – now get moving.
After only a few minutes they were completely surrunded by advancing Hive army.
‘Well this is the end.’ –said FlameFlash.
‘No it is not!’ – shouted Illuminatus , there is still one hope.
As he approached Drogue,who was still unconscious and carried by GeoModder (he drank far too much xenobrew), he muttered this words: ‘Drogue, forgive me for what I am going to do.’
Then he hit him with his shredder pistol into his stomach.
Drogue awakened suddenly, shooting fireballs in all directions. Within moments, the Hive army was destroyed.
‘Hurray Drogue – you saved us.’- people shouted and danced in joy.
‘I did? Great. And now, who is the #$%& who kicked me in the stomach?’
‘He did,' – said Red pointing at Skanky.
‘No, wait Drogue it is a lie!’ – shouted Skanky in panic, but it was too late. The rest of the thread Skanky would probably spend dodging and avoiding Drogue’s fireballs.
‘Now, we can finaly return home.’ –said Micha.
‘Wait a minute.’ – said Illuminatus. This is Hive, right? Why don’t we head to Feeding Bay and taste some Hive mind stuff  After all, Hive army has been defeated, and as long Drogue is conscious, we don not need to fear reinforcements.’
[due to special circumstances, Hive mind stuff is free and in nearly unlimited supply.]
Last edited by Illuminatus on 17-09-2004 at 16:41
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Drogue
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Omnipresent conscience
Oct 2002
time: 05:23
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quote:
Originally posted by Snowflake
Denial is futile Drogue. Admit it you are the biggest alcoholic in the history. The history of ACDG, that is. |
Of course, but being a God, that doesn't mean i ever get drunk. Well, it does, but only thrhough choice  As Spikie once said, it's not that I drink heavily, I'm just here a lot. A little at a time, a lot in total.
It is a scary total though. But per RC present, Geo obviously has the record, so he drinks more in a period of time
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17-09-2004 16:11
Brilliant opening Illu 
Quite a jump after all... I'm second in a mere 9 months... 
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