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Snotty
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I have never had a conversation with you Tiamat, although I have read your posts before. This community brings together people in a way I didnt know possible.
I wish you and your father all the wellbeing I can give. I dont pray for many things but this....
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Straybow
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SG(2)… gone but not forgotten
Jan 1970
time: 23:21
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Praying for the best, T.
Joke:
Blind man walks into a pub and finds a stool at the bar. As he works on his drink he says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar is suddenly quiet.
 The bartender comments icily, "Since you're blind we'll cut you some slack. You probably didn't realize this is a rough-neck lesbian bar and half the women here are blondes. I'm one of them."
 She continues, "The woman to your right is a police officer, and she's a blonde. The woman to your left is a former wrestler, and she's a blonde, too. Of the four construction workers at the table behind you, two of them are blondes."
 She pauses for a moment to let it sink in and says, "Now, do you still want to tell your blonde joke?"
 The blind man says, "Hmmm," and thinks for a few seconds. "No, not if I have to explain it five times."
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Barinthus
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A Magical Moment...
Jan 2004
time: 21:21
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Hi, Tia.
As always I'm hoping and wishing for the best for your father and your family along with you, of course.
I saw this old joke and thought it could be something that you can share. If it isn't, tell me to drop it.
quote:
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you".
She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:
#1, you have to be single and
#2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "! Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party." |
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Zkribbler
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Los Angeles, CA, USA
Feb 1999
time: 21:21
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Here's a joke I heard yesterday at work:
quote:
There's a lady who, although unmarried, is pregant. She gets into a terrible automobile accident, and when she regains consciousness in the hospital, she's horrified to find that her tummy is flat.
"It's not what you think" the nurse assures her. "You've been in a coma for six months, and during that time, you gave birth to twins. They're both perfectly healthy."
"For six months!" gasps the women. "My children have been without names for six months!!"
"No, that's all be taken care of. Your brother came in, and he named them."
"My brother! My brother!! My brother's an idiot!!! What did he name them?!?"
"He named your little girl Denise."
"Hmmm, Denise," muses the lady. That's not too bad. In fact, I kind of like it. What did he name my son.?"
"Denephew."
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Muad'Dib
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Of The Known Universe
Jan 1970
time: 05:21
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Sorry to hear about your dad T. A year ago last Saturday, I lost my mom to cancer, so I know what you're going through and will go through. It was harder on my brother then on me, she died on his birthday. Take comfort in the fact that you have lots of loved ones by your side, being single, I had to go through that by myself. If, and when, the end does come, just remember that his suffering comes to an end. Last piece of advice to ease the pain. Break-out the family albums and flood your memories with the pictures of what he was, not as you are seeing him now; it won't hurt as much. If you need it later, check your phonebook for your local grief counciling centers/groups.
All my love to your family.
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Straybow
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SG(2)… gone but not forgotten
Jan 1970
time: 23:21
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Oh, goody, a new joke!
A man walks into a department store. He finds a sales assistant and explains that his wife wants him to pick up a bra.
The saleswoman asks, "What church do you go to?"
Confused, the man stammers, "What does that have to do with buying a bra?"
"We have Catholic bras, Salvation Army bras, Presbyterian bras and Baptist bras."
The man is perplexed. "I've never heard of any of this. Please explain what all these types of bras are?"
She says, "The Catholic bra support the masses. The Salvation Army bra lifts up the downtrodden. The Presbyterian bra keeps them staunchly upright."
The man considers this a moment and says, "Well, we're Baptists, so what does the Baptist bra do?"
"Makes mountains out of molehills."
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21-10-2004 07:42
. be careful on the road.
Steve and I were just commenting on how funny it is that life can turn on a dime and everything you know or thought you knew suddenly just doesn't apply much less even matter anymore. You never know what type of curve life is going to throw you.
But it gives me great comfort to have somewhere like this to turn to when my whole world has turned upside down.
Attachment: 
Give my respects to one of the members of the Greatest Generation ever, those who went eyeball to eyeball with the Depression, World War II and the Cold War. 
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