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Guynemer
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Oh, you're a slut and you know it.
ajbera, sounds like you may have had epididymitis.
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ajbera
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of the Cookieville Minimum Security Orphanarium
Apr 1999
time: 05:16
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Inflammation of the foreskin
reminds me of your smile
I've had ballanital chancroids
for quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU
that lovely night in June
I ache for you my darling
and I hope you get well soon.
My penile warts, your herpes
my syphilitic sores
Your moenelial infection
how I miss you more and more
You dobie's itch, my scrumpox
our lovely gonorrhea
At least we both were lying
when we said that we were clear
Our syphilitic kisses
sealed the secret of our tryst
You gave me scrotal pustules
with a quick flick of your wrist
Your trichovaginitis
sent shivers down my spine
I got snail tracks in my anus
when your spirochetes met mine.
Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididymitis, interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-i-tis.
My clapped out genitalia
is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure
every time I try to pee.
My doctor says my buboes
are the worst he's ever seen
My scrotum's painted orange
and my balls are turning green.
My heart is very tender
though my parts are awful raw
You might have been infected
but you never were a bore
I'm dying of your love my love
I'm your spirochaetal clown
I've left my body to science
but I'm afraid they've turned it down.
Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididymitis, interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-i-tis.
"Medical Love Song" by Monty Python
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Pekka
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em seu burro dos pais!
Feb 2002
time: 07:16
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ajbera, 
Anyways, it's true about pretty girls. When I was hurried to hospital for emergency 'surgery' for me hand, I was totally messed up from losing blood, I was in shock and pale as a ghost, well it wasn't dangerous, but I was out there from all the drugs and blood loss, on my back in this joke of an ambulance and the first thing I really notice is that I had ruined my clothes, they were so bloody but then I saw this pretty girl who held my arm. She was a medic, and the first thing I remember being back from the shock is (when I was mostly just quiet), 'hey, your face is getting its colour back.. how are you feeling?'.. it was very comforting to see a pretty face for some weird reason, I was totally calm too. Of course she had to go away after they dropped me there and I got this ugly male nurse so thats when I was starting to feel uncomfortable again  .
But yeah, pretty faces it should be a requirement for places where stress is likely to occur.
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Pekka
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em seu burro dos pais!
Feb 2002
time: 07:16
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That's really annyoing though, because you can't get away with it. It's like if you have a sore spot in your arm, you can get away with it. With this, not really.. No matter what you do, it's there.. you'd need to install a miniature pool in your pants and let the fellows swim in there to avoid collision and pain. I know this to be true, I once had a nasty case of .. basically I accidentally 'burned' my fellows once, the left one, because I had these POS boxers and we were marching a long day so they kind of rubbed against my thigh, and the next day I noticed it really hurt, it burned like inferno, and we had to do lot of walking the next day too so I was in agony. It was kind of embarrasing too. And it'snot even the same, you have it worse now. So you can't get the miniature pool, lotions won't help, so basically.. be on your back?
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DRoseDARs
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"My god, it's full of peas..."
Jul 2002
time: 21:16
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Pain.
Lots of it.
I was more or less fine until Wednesday this week when I got hit with the pain that put me in the ER in the first place, but much worse. I've been in a higher level of pain than Christmas Eve since Weds. I tried calling the urologist's office yesterday morning, spoke briefly with Misty, was told the triage nurse was currently busy on another phone, and I left a message for her. Then I called back 30 minutes later and was told that A) I called a doctor's office (  Wow! Really? No sh*t, Misty. She was probably filing/polishing her nails and chewing gum when she said that, too. Valley girls...  ), B) they had 8 doctors (And not one of them, let alone my own doctor, could find 5 minutes to talk to me all day?), C) all of whom have patients (I would hope so; I'd be rather irritated if any of them WEREN'T busy all day...), D) that they all have messages to check (But...that's why you have a triage nurse: To tell people something - this part is important - USEFUL until a doctor can see them..), E) and that they would get to me as soon as they could...
5 hours later, the triage nurse called back:
"We're not ignoring you..."
- I glanced at the clock when she said that...
"Put some ice on it..."
- No, I said USEFUL
"We can't prescribe you anything stronger because it would be too powerful..."
-  God forbid.
I shold note that, unlike my mother, I'm a very pleasant person on the phone. I don't DO rudeness when I'm trying to get something, especially when I'm in real need, so at no point was I combative with either Misty nor the triage nurse.
*Sigh*
So basically I'm bedridden until I see another doctor (either my urologist or a new one if this is how I'm going to be treated by his office). I can't work today, tomorrow, and possibly Tuesday if I don't get stronger painkillers. Vicodin simply doesn't work for me. Being flat on my back is about the only position that doesn't hurt, though currently I'm in a tilted-back chair that actually doesn't hurt much if I don't move around. The abdominal pain that put me in the ER in the first place that became testicular too is what makes verticle positions unbearable. The nut pain keeps me from sleeping on my sides, which is how I normally sleep. Grr...
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30-12-2004 19:38
... yeah.. but if it's infection.. it should go away and most likely no damage done. SO let's hope that one.... I hope your testies get well.
. I was told that "hey sometimes your balls hurt, it's normal, no big deal.". FU too doc. I usually don't mind pain too much, but pain in the nutsack like that is rather scary.
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