13-02-2005 02:57									#1
	Cooking for vegetarians.... Increase the size of your Attachments

So, we had a dinner party with some friends last night (we do that a lot in our circles). My wife and I had invited 2 other couples, and as it was my turn to cook, I decided to make what I like best: Entrecôtes in oregano and tomato sauce, with oven-cooked potatoes and a mushroom/onion salad cooked in red-wine.

My good friend, Jorgen, is recently divorced, and he brought his new girlfriend. As I served the food, he and the new girlfriend grew suddenly very silent. Naturally, I asked if something was wrong, and he said: "Didn't you know that Tina is a vegetarian?"

I didn't, really I didn't. Perhaps he had mentioned it, perhaps he hadn't. I honestly can't remember. And as I hadn't prepared any vegetarian food, she had to eat only potatoes and the small side-dish of mushrooms and onions.

Afterwards, I got to thinking. So what if she is a vegetarian? Why should I care?? Where I come from, you eat what's on the table. Period. Naturally, I tried to smooth things over, and apologize, but I really felt that I shouldn't be. Apologizing, that is.

I happen to hate musles and calamari, and most other kinds of sea-food, except fish, but if I were at a party, and I was served sea-food, I would eat it, because that's what you do. Why is it, that vegetarians are different? I know people who cook vegetarian food, if they know that a guest is vegetarian, or at least cook something for that person only, but I just don't agree with that idea. You eat what is served. If you don't happen to like it, you eat only a little. But to deny eating something at a dinner-party, for what-ever reason...now that's just plain impolite.

Am I wrong here, guys? Should I relent, and cook something special for her, the next time they come over. It's not that I have anything against vegetarians or for that matter against her. It's just that I don't get it. Does the fact that vegetarians don't eat meat as a matter of principle give them special priviledges, that the rest of us don't enjoy. Please give me your opinion.

Asmodean

	13-02-2005 03:30									#2
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I get sick if I eat meat

and I feel ill at the thought of eating it

so no thank you, I am not that polite

Jon Miller

	13-02-2005 03:32									#3
	Re: Cooking for vegetarians.... Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

quote: Originally posted by Asmodean I happen to hate musles and calamari, and most other kinds of sea-food, except fish, but if I were at a party, and I was served sea-food, I would eat it, because that's what you do. Why is it, that vegetarians are different? I know people who cook vegetarian food, if they know that a guest is vegetarian, or at least cook something for that person only, but I just don't agree with that idea. You eat what is served. If you don't happen to like it, you eat only a little. But to deny eating something at a dinner-party, for what-ever reason...now that's just plain impolite.

Not as unpolite as cooking something for a guest that you know they don't want to eat. If it's unexpected and acidental, and they didn't bother to tell you before hand, then cest la vie - Every vegetarian has had to make do with nothing but a side dish every now and then, but cooking something vegetarian the next time is not "relenting" - it is being a good host.



And I am sure there are things that you wouldn't eat. Hell, I know alot of people that would pick around something as simple and common as brussels sprouts and refuse to have any when at someone's house... of course, that's rarely seen as impolite because it isn't meat.

	13-02-2005 03:33									#4
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Medium rare ribeye steak... mmmmm....

	13-02-2005 03:41									#5
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I wouldn't expect things to be cooked especially for me just because I was a vegetarian - but equally I wouldnt sit and eat meat just so I didnt offend people. I would not expect a Jewish person to eat a joint of pork out of politeness, why should my principles be respected to a lesser degree?

	13-02-2005 03:41									#6
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quote: Originally posted by Saras Medium rare ribeye steak... mmmmm....

You didn't even read the opening post, did you?

	13-02-2005 03:53									#7
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In the invitations to all of my "dinner parties" (if they can be afforded such a name) I always say something like "I'm cooking some beef, come on over" or "I'm cooking some pork, come on over" or whatever have you. That way it's on their heads if they happen to have some sort of ethical problem with eating whatever I'm cooking -- they can either bow out, or they can insist that I cook them something special. Either way, if they tell me upon arriving that they "dont eat X" then I can tell them to **** off without remorse.

In your specific case, I'd guess that Jorgen was trying to appease his girlfriend. He'd have warned you ahead of time if he thought that her dietary preferences would have been a significant factor in your preparations, IMO -- I'll be that he forgot that she was a member of whatever-goofy-dietary-subset she belonged to until it was too late.

	13-02-2005 04:18									#8
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You should've directed her to your garden. Let her eat like a rabbit outside.

	13-02-2005 04:19									#9
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It's one thing to be a persnickity eater, it's another thing to hold strong convictions about the things you eat. Would you force a Jew to eat non-kosher foods just to satisfy your sense of what the proper eating etiquette should be for guests?

If your guest had been a royal b*tch about it, then certainly you shouldn't be the one apologizing, but it doesn't seem like it went down like that. It was a simple oversight (your friend's fault for not making sure you knew prior to your preparations) that as a vegetarian she has to expect from time to time as someone mentioned earlier. Now that you're aware of her dietary choice, you should continue to be a good host and offer her an alternate meal when she's a guest. It's unlikely she would offer a meat meal if you were a guest in her house, but I suspect only because many veges and vegans are that afraid of contact with meat and animal products. Oh well, a rabbit dinner once-in-a-while won't kill you.

All in all, just be the better person/host. It wouldn't be that difficult to offer a vege dinner in lieu of meat and it would show that you respect her stance on the issue, regardless of your feelings about it. Asmodean, I think you handled the situation just fine and now that you know you can be able to avoid it in the future, making yourself that much a better host.

	13-02-2005 04:20									#10
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quote: Originally posted by General Ludd You didn't even read the opening post, did you?

How come suddenly YOU'RE so serious?

	13-02-2005 04:33									#11
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quote: Originally posted by Saras How come suddenly YOU'RE so serious?

I have high standards when it comes to trolling. Sorry, you just don't cut it.

	13-02-2005 04:55									#12
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

Tass and DRoseDARs:

I know that you're right, and that that is of course the way that I'll be handling it, but still....I don't know....

Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's just that it's so different a situation to be dealing with, but I still feel that in general you eat what's put in front of you.

And to General Ludd: No...I always eat what's served: I once a plate full of live shrimps in soy sauce...no kidding.

Asmodean

	13-02-2005 04:59									#13
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quote: Originally posted by Comrade Tassadar Well, that is your feeling. If your going to be a nice, good host then you need to respect her ethical beliefs. You already admitted that we are correct, so any resistence is simply you being stubborn

LOL....yeah. But if that's what I am, then so be it.

Asmodean

	13-02-2005 05:03									#14
	Got spare money?

quote: Afterwards, I got to thinking. So what if she is a vegetarian? Why should I care?? Where I come from, you eat what's on the table. Period. Naturally, I tried to smooth things over, and apologize, but I really felt that I shouldn't be. Apologizing, that is.

Precisely. If the guy didn't think enough of her to tell you her preferences beforehand, then the fault lies upon him, not you.

In the interests of keeping things lively, perhaps you should've pointed this out?

	13-02-2005 05:05									#15
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Well, I used to feel the same way about being the good guest and eating whatever you were given... until it almost killed me.

Six words:
Freshly-killed, home-made turkey burger.

*Shudder*

Two words:
Never again.

Edit: Mumbles something about crossposts...

	13-02-2005 05:29									#16
	opinion Get a bigger avatar today!

Veggies are falses. Don't they see that everything that we humans do destroys other lives. How many veggies drive around in motor cars? Lots I reckon. Loads and loads of greed by veggies just like non-veggies. Really bad hypocrisy. This is a great evil. I don't like western veggies. They are like rich folk in places like India that pretend that they are Jains.

	13-02-2005 05:42									#17
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quote: Originally posted by Asmodean Tass and DRoseDARs: I know that you're right, and that that is of course the way that I'll be handling it, but still....I don't know.... Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's just that it's so different a situation to be dealing with, but I still feel that in general you eat what's put in front of you. And to General Ludd: No...I always eat what's served: I once a plate full of live shrimps in soy sauce...no kidding. Asmodean

there are two main situations

if you don't like something

if you are allergic to something

if you were allergic to some food, surely you wouldn't eat it if it was put before you

although you say you do eat it if you don't like it

vegeterrianism is more like allergic

Jon Miller

	13-02-2005 05:52									#18
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Well I'm a vegetarian and I've been one for over 10 years, so I've had more than one meal made up of side dishes in that time. It was her boyfriend's responsibility to inform you of her eating perferences for the previous occasion. In the future, I think the polite thing would be to make sure that she has at least one main dish available in vegetarian form. You don't have to do this, my grandmother still doesn't realize that I don't eat meat, but I'm sure she would appreciate the effort. Isn't pleasing your visitors with good food, comfortable surroundings, and appropriate entertainment the job description of a good host?

To me I don't know if I would ever voluntarily eat meat again. If I was stranded on an island with only a pallet full of tuna to keep me going, I'd probably eat meat, but I'm not sure. In this age of vegetarians, atkin diets, and food allergies eating everything put on your plate isn't the norm. Expecting that behavior out of others will lead to disappointment and frustration on your part.

	13-02-2005 05:58									#19
	Re: Cooking for vegetarians.... Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

quote: Originally posted by Asmodean So, we had a dinner party with some friends last night (we do that a lot in our circles). My wife and I had invited 2 other couples, and as it was my turn to cook, I decided to make what I like best: Entrecôtes in oregano and tomato sauce, with oven-cooked potatoes and a mushroom/onion salad cooked in red-wine. My good friend, Jorgen, is recently divorced, and he brought his new girlfriend. As I served the food, he and the new girlfriend grew suddenly very silent. Naturally, I asked if something was wrong, and he said: "Didn't you know that Tina is a vegetarian?" I didn't, really I didn't. Perhaps he had mentioned it, perhaps he hadn't. I honestly can't remember. And as I hadn't prepared any vegetarian food, she had to eat only potatoes and the small side-dish of mushrooms and onions. Afterwards, I got to thinking. So what if she is a vegetarian? Why should I care?? Where I come from, you eat what's on the table. Period. Naturally, I tried to smooth things over, and apologize, but I really felt that I shouldn't be. Apologizing, that is. I happen to hate musles and calamari, and most other kinds of sea-food, except fish, but if I were at a party, and I was served sea-food, I would eat it, because that's what you do. Why is it, that vegetarians are different? I know people who cook vegetarian food, if they know that a guest is vegetarian, or at least cook something for that person only, but I just don't agree with that idea. You eat what is served. If you don't happen to like it, you eat only a little. But to deny eating something at a dinner-party, for what-ever reason...now that's just plain impolite. Am I wrong here, guys? Should I relent, and cook something special for her, the next time they come over. It's not that I have anything against vegetarians or for that matter against her. It's just that I don't get it. Does the fact that vegetarians don't eat meat as a matter of principle give them special priviledges, that the rest of us don't enjoy. Please give me your opinion. Asmodean

It is a problem. I can virtually eat anything but the shellfish one would probably stop me in my tracks. If it was something like oysters I would vomit during eating them. And anything containing liver...that will make me projectile vomit. But most people cooking for a group of people who they don't know too well would probably steer clear of some of these things anyway...although anything with normal meat is fine by me. You should have just grumbled and mentioned something to do with starving Africans, would have worked a treat

	13-02-2005 06:05									#20
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I say cook something vegetarian for her next, but if you are invited to her place, make sure she knows that you are not a vegetarian and that you expect a meal with meat in it made just for you.

Otherwise she shouldn't expect the same.....



ACK!

	13-02-2005 06:12									#21
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On a similar note here that tubes didnt mention when we were in utah his sister invites us to a fish bake, bar B que the only part she failed to mention was to bring your own food. steak wise that is after we bought most of the beer and ice and showed up we found out that you had to bring your own meat not fish but meat well neither he or I like fish so we had a few beers then told his sister we were going to leave she found some hamburger meat and we shared a burger there but all in the host should be informed of prefernces and then if possible request a potluck of some sort. If a guest has certian preferances

	13-02-2005 06:20									#22
	there are all sorts of veggies.... Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

...for example, there are those who proclaim themselves so whilst happy to eat fish. I find this strange, as great big nets trap and torture all manner of creatures to death as we type. Not so strange really, as humans proclaiming themselves to be good when they are evil is a very prevelant thing.

	13-02-2005 06:26									#23
	Re: there are all sorts of veggies.... Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

quote: Originally posted by FredKarno ...for example, there are those who proclaim themselves so whilst happy to eat fish. I find this strange, as great big nets trap and torture all manner of creatures to death as we type.

That has little to do with them being a vegetarian or not. Vegetarian means not eating meat. Fish is meat. If you eat fish, you aren't a vegetarian.

	13-02-2005 06:32									#24
	just like socialists! Enter the AD-FREE zone

Mind you, evil is not the monopoly of these veggies and socialists. It is just that they are so perfect (sic) at presenting themselves as good.

	13-02-2005 06:43									#25
	reply to Ludd Inflate your Upload Space

How naive you are! All veggies are not the same. I have known people who describe themselves 'vegetarians' while still eating all manner of meats. Don't you know the contradiction of it all? It is why I liken them (you?) to socialists - they are both very broad churches that make all other religions look totally unified.

	13-02-2005 06:57									#26
	Hitler indeed Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

Tassader's post might be in jest yet it shows how mixed up it all is. Hitler was a veggie and liked his cream puffs(and ranted on about making the master race vegetarian after the war was won) and against hunting. I myself think that hunting other animals whith guns is pathetic. Hunting humans that are also armed is OK.

	13-02-2005 07:42									#27
	Re: reply to Ludd Got spare money?

quote: Originally posted by FredKarno How naive you are! All veggies are not the same. I have known people who describe themselves 'vegetarians' while still eating all manner of meats.

Yes, and they aren't vegetarians.

quote: Tassader's post might be in jest yet it shows how mixed up it all is. Hitler was a veggie and liked his cream puffs(and ranted on about making the master race vegetarian after the war was won) and against hunting. I myself think that hunting other animals whith guns is pathetic. Hunting humans that are also armed is OK.

Hitler wasn't a vegetarian, although he did shy away from some meats at times, just as he was also anti-smoking and at some points in his life teetotal. but he never stopped eating meat completely. Apparently his make-believe vegetarianism was used in Nazi PR to promote him as having an image of purity, but still, he continued to eat meat.

And he was not against hunting, either. He banned fox hunting, but that was apparently because he wanted to "disenfranchise" the people who typically did it in germany, as they belonged to a certain social class or ethnic group that he didn't like.

	13-02-2005 08:19									#28
	so, comrade Ludd, veggies are what you say Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

Don't you see that you are just like socialists who decry other people who call themselves that.
You say that other people who calle themselves vegetarians are not so. I say to you that you that you are false also.
Do you own a motor car? Do you have a mobile phone? A telly, an electronic computer. How many things do you have?
Do you think that all the material things that you own do not contribute to the destruction of other creatures on this planet? You think you are innocent by not eating meat?

	13-02-2005 08:27									#29
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Cows are vegitarians...and they taste pretty good!

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	13-02-2005 09:02									#30
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Just keep a couple of garden burgers in the freezer- five minutes, problem solved.