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snoopy369
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Of the Peanuts Gallery
Apr 2004
time: 23:35
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Friday mid-day, at BEA in Chicago’s McCormick Center
At the Random House Pavilion
Bill Bryson, Dave Barry, Joseph Ellis, Erik Larson, and John Irving are discussing where they will be going during the course of the day. Today is the day most of the authors are going to be traveling around the room, as most of the signings are tomorrow.
“Bill, where are you headed?” asked John.
“Well, I’m off to the Hyperion booth, I think,” said Bill. “I was hoping to see the new Sedaris title that’s coming out.”
“What are you babbling about,” said Erik. “David isn’t going to publish anything the rest of the year. And besides, he’s not with Hyperion …”
“Actually, I’m talking about Amy,” said Bill. “I like her earlier shorter works. This new one looks pretty cool.”
“Yeah, I guess. Anyway, I’m off to Harper Collins. Margolin has a new one that I like a lot,” said Erik.
“What, you read fiction?” asked Dave.
“Yeah, I need to relax every so often,” said Erik. “And besides, if I’m going to write interesting, readable history, I have to understand the fiction writer’s standpoint, also, since that’s a lot of my target audience. Not just boring academic types.”
“Ahem. I read fiction as well … Dickens, Austen, Irving … Hemingway, even!” said Joseph Ellis. “Although I think I’m going to head over to the Houghton Mifflin area. Phillip Roth has a new book coming out soon that I think looks pretty good. And heck, it’s even Fiction …”
“Ha, ha. Well, I’m headed over to the Comics Tent. Not much of a tent really, but nonetheless called such. Ah well, anyway. My son has started to get into this stuff … you’d think once he hit 20 he was over those teenage things, but … who knows?” said Dave.
“Hmm. Well, I think I’m going to take a walk over to the international pavilion,” said John Irving. “The international pavilion looks pretty cool, and I so rarely get to travel out of the country anymore…”
“It does sound pretty cool. That’s over by the south entrance, right?” said Erik.
“Well, a bit away from the main entrance. Near the east side of the building, thereabouts,” responded John.
“Ah, thanks. I might stop by later on,” said Erik.
“Well, maybe I’ll see you there,” said John.
At the Simon and Schuster booth
Ann and Hunter were sitting at the booth, chatting about their past books. Tom and Paul came by the booth from their respective booths and joined in the conversation.
“Heya, where are y’all going today?” asked Tom.
“Hmm, I think Hunter and I are going to go see some of the small publishers’ exhibits. We figured we’d stay near each other to stay safe.”
“So you changed your mind, Hunter?” said Paul.
“Better the devil you know …” said Hunter. “I prefer to keep my friends close, and my enemies closer.”
“Hehe, you’re funny,” said Ann. “I think you’re just teasing me because you haven’t been with a woman in years…”
“For a reason,” refuted Hunter.
“Well … um … I think I’m going to the travel section. There are some pretty cool new maps and map-related gadgets over there towards the south doors, I’m told,” said Paul. “And I can write it off on my taxes!”
“Wow, there’s a shocker, a travel guy over in the travel section. Tom, maybe you should go into the Lupine area?” said Hunter.
“Har, har. Funny. Anyway, I’m actually going to spend some time browsing the romance section. For my wife.”
“Ahah. Always knew you were a pansy,” jabbed Hunter.
“Yeah, that’s it, pansy. Anyway, have fun,” said Tom, nervously.
At the Time Warner Annex
David Sedaris and Alice Sebold found themselves talking about what they were going to be doing the rest of the day alone, as there was no-one else to talk to.
“Well, Alice my dear, where are you headed?”
“Ahem, I’m not your dear, David. I’m headed off to the Baker and Taylor center, over to the west side of the area.”
“Ah, nice. They have a pretty cool bag, something about cats or something. Ah, anyway I’m heading over to the Hyperion booth. Amy has a pretty cool book coming out I want to take a look at.”
“Yeah, that book does look nice. Though she’s a bit … flaky, for me.”
“Hey, she’s a serious comedienne!”
“Um, yeah… serious, comedy. Yes. Definitely …”
“Anyway, have fun with the cat bags…”
At the Harper Collins Centre
Neil Gaiman, Joyce Carol Oates, and Elmore Leonard are talking at their booth about the noblest of sports.
“Tomorrow, I’m quite sure Smarty Jones is going to with the Belmont,” said Neil. “It is the only answer that makes sense; and he is by far the best horse out there. Did you even WATCH the preakness?”
“Yeah, I watched it. But you know the Belmont is such a different race than either of the other two. Almost nobody wins the Belmont and even one other triple crown race, not in the past 20 years anyway,” said Elmore.
“Yeah, well, who is going to beat him?” asked Neil. “No horse can come out and beat him tomorrow, I’m sure.”
“Well, Rock Hard Ten is a pretty good bet,” said Joyce. “He has to be looking for revenge after losing so badly …”
“Nah, he’s not even got his regular rider,” said Elmore. “He’s out of the running, as far as I’m concerned. Purge, he probably won’t ride, he’s not ready. Master David has a chance, if he runs, but he sounded like he wasn’t going to run either; although Santos is a pretty good jockey, so if he’s in I’d put money on him.”
“Well, all you’re saying as far as I can tell is who’s not going to win,” said Neil. “We agree on that. Who’s your pick to ACTUALLY win?”
“Tap Dancer or Birdstone,” said Elmore. “Tap Dancer has a pretty good jockey, and hasn’t done half bad before; and Birdstone is a Nick Zito product, and I think he’s a good longshot bet. I don’t like Bailey, so Eddington’s out; and Royal Assault will give way to Birdstone if it comes to that.”
“What? Those two don’t have a chance. Elliott’s going to run Smarty hard and long and they’ll make it easily.”
“Well, we’ll just have to see, won’t we?” said Elmore. “Tell you what, let’s scout out the Ingram booth today so we have a good place to watch it from tomorrow. That’s where the TVs are, they’ll show it if we ask I bet.”
“Why don’t you do that alone, Elmore,” said Neil. “I need to head over to the graphic novels tent, over by the south doors, and then I’m going to just … wander, I guess.”
“I’ll head over to the reference area, over near the southeast side. I want to check out the new electronic dictionaries,” said Joyce. “See you at lunch.”
A few hours later, lunchtime approached. The authors gathered at the lunch pavilion in the middle of the floor, and noticed that one of their group yet again was missing.
The authors fan out, and eventually they give up; he’s not in the building. They decide to take a break, and Erik suggests they go outside and take a break near the lake.
They sit in the benches alongside the bikepath in the Fireman’s Memorial Park, and notice how nice it is outside.
“June in Chicago is beautiful,” says Paul. “Almost like Marseilles …”
“What does Marseilles have to say compared to this?” asks Erik. “This is nearly perfect weather … not dissimilar from the weather in 1896 …”
“Yeah. If it weren’t for all those seagulls down there, it would be a perfect day,” said Alice. “Seagulls are annoying. Don’t they know this isn’t even a sea?”
“Hey, that is an unusual amount of gulls … hmm, I wonder why they’re all clustered in that one spot?” said Bill.
The authors walk down to the lakeshore, and to their horror discover Neil Gaiman’s broken body laying on the rocks down below. No evidence of a weapon was present, but his body was so bruised and battered there’s no guessing how he died. He was not very waterlogged, even though he was nearly entirely underwater. They did notice some ink stains on his fingers, but no evident blood other than that which was probably the work of the gulls.
They retired inside to the lunch pavilion to discuss this occurrence, relying on the gulls to finish what one of the group had started.
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28-03-2005 16:05
ACK!
There's no evidence that it was me... just because I was mafia in the last game 
). Or if he gets back before the vote is decided, he can make a vote then.
...
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