26-03-2005 21:50									#31
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(this from the guy who moved in after a month....)

	26-03-2005 21:53									#32
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quote: Originally posted by OzzyKP (this from the guy who moved in after a month....)

I didn't own a house or have an income at the time. Hell, we were living off of the $10 a month in food stamps her mother was giving us, plus the charity of our fellow university students.

	26-03-2005 22:00									#33
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This being California, I'd make sure she's not doing this just to land some free housing.

	26-03-2005 22:02									#34
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara Did you read my post? This is exactly why he shouldn't have her move in until he's sure, cuz once she's in, she'll be almost impossible to kick out. In addiction, he could conceivably find himself paying for her to stay someplace else once he's successfully evicted her.

sure i did che, but that sounded more like a realationship trouble thing(and both renting/shareing?) rather than a legal "you invite someone to stay in your home and your stuck with them" thing

So are you telling me if you own your home and invite someone to live with you in a non-married capacity in the USA, then they gain rights of ownership or compensation?!!


edit:sorry if i'm missing something obvious here!

	26-03-2005 22:08									#35
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If you invite someone to live with you, you have created a verbal contract. Technically it's a month-to-month lease, but when you decide to kcik that person out, they can refuse to go, and you can't just put their stuff outside and change the locks. That's illegal. You have to sue for eviction, and that can take up to 6 months or longer if the evictee has a killer lawyer.

In addition, if you have a "relationship" with a person, and you are allowing them to live rent free with you, pay their bills, etc., you have assumed a responsibility to them, and in California you can be sued to continue making that responsibility even after the relationship is over. It's known as palimony.

	26-03-2005 22:16									#36
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California is weird like that. Everyone point and laugh.

	26-03-2005 22:19									#37
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Holy ****!! wow the usa is really crazy

well ok in light of that my advice to Oerdin becomes:

take is as slowly as you can, get to know her really well, meet her parents and hope the god lord shines down on you by having found you a decent gal.

kinda puts a dampner on the romantic lovey stuff though

another reason to hate lawers?

my mind is boggleing........man that is a screwed up legal non-sense. hmmm no wonder there are so many accidental gun deaths in california

Can't someone write to Arnie and get him to fix it, it seems a little unbalanced and i think he's good at cutting through BS?

Last edited by child of Thor on 26-03-2005 at 22:25

	26-03-2005 22:48									#38
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One of my friends in Canada had been seeing a guy for about a year. He moves into her place. She kicks him out after 5 1/2 months cause it ain't working out and if he stayed more than six months, he'd have a claim on her place as a common-law partner.

What's right, what's wrong? Hard to say. Only you can say what is right for you.

	26-03-2005 23:14									#39
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[coT starts to worry that the uk might have a simular law]

I didn't vote for any of this.

	27-03-2005 06:09									#40
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Moved in with the gf after going out for about 3/4 of a year and have been living together for about another 3/4. The first month was a bit rough, (if we'd been going out only 9 weeks I don't think thing would've worked out) but since then its been great (to the point that I can't even sleep well if she isn't next to me) especially since her family loves me.

	27-03-2005 06:31									#41
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Recently a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend after a relationship of about a year and a half, and living together for about half a year. They're stuck with each other since she's a student without an income of her own. She's planning to find a new place the next academic year (when the rental contract has run out) but she's told me life is anything but easy in the meantime, especially as they have to sleep in the same bed.

So I'd guess it'be a good idea you at least have a plan B in case you break up.

	27-03-2005 06:38									#42
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I'd say it's way to early, but then I'm a take-it-slow kind of guy. I would say that you have to ask yourself three big questions:

1) Right now you have a place to go to that has nothing to do with your relationship; when the relationship gets to be too much, for whatever reason, you can retreat to your place and chill for a while until it's relationship time again. You're about to lose that. Can you handle the loss?

2) Are you a different guy in the relationship than out of it? Lots of guys are. Or are there things you just keep out of the relationship because your gf has no patience or appreciation for them? Happens all the time. But if it is the case that there is a "Relationship Oerdin" and an "At-Home Oerdin," the question is -- are you ready to choose between them?

3) If you're lucky, you've found your one true love. But let's say you haven't. Okay, you know you and you know her; you've probably both been in relationships before, and thus both been through break-ups before. So you tell me: how's it going to end? Are you two the type to remain friends? Is she the type to move out in a huff, or stay and twist the knife? In short, what's the worst-case scenario here...and can you (literally) live with it?

Those are the questions I'd ask myself. In fact, those are questions I'd wished I'd asked myself, way back when.

Good luck, whatever decision you make.

	27-03-2005 06:45									#43
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I also have a friend who moved in with his gf the first day they knew each other. They lived together for about a year, after which they more or less broke up. It probably wasn't the best for the long-term health of the relationship since they had to 'bear' each other's presence 24/7 from the start.

	27-03-2005 07:37									#44
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quote: Originally posted by Boshko especially since her family loves me.

Of courze they do, because after you marry their daughter, you're going to bring them all to the U.S.

	27-03-2005 08:50									#45
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My sister in law's father is a moderately wealthy man. He let his girlfriend move in. Things quickly went sour. He asked to leave but she refuses. Why? She wants half the house. Its been like that for several years.

Never, never, never, let a woman move in with you if you own property.

	27-03-2005 08:55									#46
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O man,

Classic logic says to wait.

But in my experience, classic logic never applies to these situations. Do what feels right for YOU.

	27-03-2005 09:03									#47
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quote: Originally posted by OzzyKP ... but I am lobbying hard to get her to move to my area.

You make it sound so political.

	27-03-2005 09:04									#48
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Ozzy selling out to special interests

	27-03-2005 09:19									#49
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Okay I have to bring this to a level you will understand.

You get more sex if she lives somewhere else. Plus, you can have other girlfriends and you get even more sex.

I don't think I can make it any clearer than that.

	27-03-2005 13:44									#51
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Dated my wife for three years, then got married. Twelve years since then, plus on little girl.

Never cohabitated, because daddy threatened to pull the plug on tuition/financial help - turned out he stuck her with $5000 he promised to pay, which still pisses me off, using money as leverage and then not making the payment anyway (US student loan, rate was cheaper in her name). Spent almost every weekend together during that time period, plus quite a few weekdays. Lived 75 minutes apart until got married, then lived 3.5 hours apart - grad school.

	27-03-2005 14:30									#52
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Once they are secure in the little lovenest you can forget about the poon tang - especially the stuff that you like but they don't.

Treat em mean, i.e. out of your home, keep em keen.

	27-03-2005 14:44									#53
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Treat them right - and you will get plenty of poon tang, once even twice a day - and triples on that romantic Saturday . The only extended period we have not had a very active intimate life was during my wife's last trimester, and when a 1.47 meter (4' 10") lady has a 7lb 10oz - 3.5 kilo - baby, she just isn't up to much of anything. Constant nausea sort of puts a cramp on things.

	27-03-2005 14:47									#54
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shawn, stop being so literal, its a bad american habit

	27-03-2005 15:13									#55
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No - I'm just being obnoxious. I'm in one of my moods - look at my most recent posts.

	27-03-2005 15:17									#56
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right well get with the program - we can't tell him she'll put out - otherwise he'll let her move in

	27-03-2005 15:35									#57
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I thought we were trying to get him more nooky.

But on that matter, I did move in with a woman who the relationship was all right, but I had reservations about. However, her money was tight, and I saved some to. Except for her kids, who came to my wedding, it was a total waste. In that example the sex did dry up, the money saved was not worth it, and I blew five years of my life. So Oerdin, take your time especially if the interpretation of California law is correct. That's scarey.

	27-03-2005 15:41									#58
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that's more like it

	27-03-2005 16:50									#59
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara Of courze they do, because after you marry their daughter, you're going to bring them all to the U.S.

Bah, it isn't like this is the Philippines or something

	27-03-2005 16:51									#60
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Now you need to email me the full size picture of you "Horsey" because my little girl likes it. You are the only poster she can identify. XXXshawnmmcc at insightbb dot comXXX