27-03-2005 17:02									#61
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I have the fullsize picture somewhere......

	27-03-2005 17:05									#62
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Horsey's and Choo-choo's. She loves the beginning of "Hello, Dolly."

	27-03-2005 19:39									#63
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Rufus that sounds like some pretty good advice.

Everyone else thanks for the ideas and suggestions. I'm going with the to early crowd though we haven't talked about it yet. She's the one who brought up the idea of moving in together so I'm just going to wait and see if she brings it up again and if she does (which I expect her to do) then I'm going to have to tell her I love her but I'm not ready to move in together. Maybe later but not now. I don't want to be the guy that shacks up to soon and then has the ex-girlfriend still living with him or trying to figure out who gets which of the stuff, etc..

	28-03-2005 02:50									#64
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attaboy

	28-03-2005 02:57									#65
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I live with my girlfriend. We moved in together after less than a year together. Its been about 3 years now, and no significant problems. But it could have easily been a distaster, so no I wouldn't recommend it to everyone.

	28-03-2005 06:21									#66
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quote: Originally posted by Tingkai One of my friends in Canada had been seeing a guy for about a year. He moves into her place. She kicks him out after 5 1/2 months cause it ain't working out and if he stayed more than six months, he'd have a claim on her place as a common-law partner. What's right, what's wrong? Hard to say. Only you can say what is right for you.

Tingkai

That is not a correct statement of the Canadian common law and would only be correct in any particular province that had a statute that granted such rights.

The common law does acknowledge some rights for a cohabitant "equivalent to spouse " but such cases have usually involved much longer relationships where it would be seen as "unjust" fro one party to retain all the assets.

Unmarried folks make the mistake all the time of thinking that all the legal consequences are the same as being married if they cohabitate for some specified period of time, but it just isn't so.

	28-03-2005 06:30									#67
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On the question

It might work out if you move in now but I wouldn't do it quite yet.

I cohabitated twice.

The first time after a year and we ended up together for about 5 years before it fell apart.

The second time was more interesting since I started dating a woman on her trip home to newfoundland from her job in Texas. So we dated a bit and then I visited her in Texas for a week. The a month later her dad passed away so she was back in newfoundland for another 2 months. Since her family lived 4 hours drive from me, she spent a lot of time at my house. She ended up moving back but she got her own place. It was a bit of a waste since she slept there only a couple of times ( I owned a 4 bedroom house alone). After we had been seeing each other a little over a year I had her move in. Married 3 years now ( Together for 6 overall) with one child and another on the way)

Oh and under applicable laws, she obtained ZERO ownership interest in my house by living there. As the lawyer in the family, I was certain of that

	28-03-2005 07:33									#68
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In California you have to cohabitate for 24 months before you are considered to have a common law marriage.

	28-03-2005 09:03									#69
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I don't think that California allows common law marriages.

few do, these days.

http://www.ncsl.org/programs/cyf/commonlaw.htm

	29-03-2005 13:15									#70
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quote: Originally posted by shawnmmcc Now you need to email me the full size picture of you "Horsey" because my little girl likes it. You are the only poster she can identify. XXXshawnmmcc at insightbb dot comXXX

here it is - looks rather good full size but maybe not suitable for little kids

	29-03-2005 23:37									#71
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She likes the horsey. I cannot wait to play SMAC with her as a team.

	29-03-2005 23:43									#72
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Show your daughter Commie Kitten. Maybe Che still has the pic.

	09-04-2005 07:31									#73
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the horse looks smarter than the rider

	09-04-2005 07:39									#74
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quote: Originally posted by TCO Give it a shot. You don't want to end up old and single and bitter like me.

Word.

(although I'm still in my mid 20's. Risk is what makes life interesting.)

	09-04-2005 07:45									#75
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quote: Originally posted by Oerdin In California you have to cohabitate for 24 months before you are considered to have a common law marriage.

Okay - let her move in for 23 months and 30 days

	09-04-2005 09:34									#76
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Oerdin: RUN!!!!

	09-04-2005 09:36									#77
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I guess they change the law some time back. They used to have a common law marriage but I guess the state got rid of it since so many couples were shacking up.

	09-04-2005 09:39									#78
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seriously, abandon ship, abandon ship!

	09-04-2005 09:51									#79
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quote: Originally posted by Oerdin I guess they change the law some time back. They used to have a common law marriage but I guess the state got rid of it since so many couples were shacking up.

OK Oerdin so I've been around the block a couple of times myself. I guess after watching this thread for a while why I have to say where is the input from the potential Mrs? Essentially what I'm trying to say that if you trust her enough to move in together, then you'd probably trust her enough to post her perspective on this (potential) merger together here at 'poly. Is this a correct assumption on my part, or am I missing the mark?
This may end up being a rhetorical question on my part, but since your asking for feedback, why if your considering moving in together, why IMO your question becomes a communal question, which means feedback from your Better Half as well....


D

	09-04-2005 10:02									#80
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yeah - bring on the Jezebel

	09-04-2005 10:24									#81
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I stil say go for it.

I'm pretty sure you live in America. And a mans house is his castle. If she is a skank, boot her ass out faster than you can call Domino's Pizza. And then laugh at her as she tries to maek amends....unless she really IS a good girl, then just ignore everything I've just said.

	09-04-2005 16:06									#82
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Summary?
Oerdin, one word: Property values.
Oh, yeah, isn't traditional to post pitcures? Yes, of the GF and the house. You might get better offers.

	10-04-2005 08:52									#83
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quote: Originally posted by asleepathewheel I don't think that California allows common law marriages.

True. You can't enter into a common law marriage here. But if you entered into a common law marriage in another state and then moved here, California would recognize it.

	10-04-2005 08:58									#84
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara In addition, if you have a "relationship" with a person, and you are allowing them to live rent free with you, pay their bills, etc., you have assumed a responsibility to them, and in California you can be sued to continue making that responsibility even after the relationship is over. It's known as palimony.

Au contraire. There is no palimony in California. Cases like Marvin v. Marvin rejected that concept. Where the guys get in trouble is the women claim they entered into an oral agreement: "Honey, you give up your career & I'll support you for the rest of your life."

	10-04-2005 08:58									#85
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quote: Originally posted by Zkribbler True. You can't enter into a common law marriage here. But if you entered into a common law marriage in another state and then moved here, California would recognize it.

duh!

but that has nothing to do with Oerdin's scenario

	10-04-2005 09:02									#86
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quote: Originally posted by asleepathewheel . . . that has nothing to do with Oerdin's scenario

Except there was a concern that, if he let her move in with him, he might wake up one day to discover he'd inadvertently married her.

	10-04-2005 09:04									#87
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Pah - Oerdin has no assets anyway

	10-04-2005 09:16									#88
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quote: Originally posted by Zkribbler Au contraire. There is no palimony in California. Cases like Marvin v. Marvin rejected that concept. Where the guys get in trouble is the women claim they entered into an oral agreement: "Honey, you give up your career & I'll support you for the rest of your life."

Marvin, Lee

see: The Dirty Dozen

	10-04-2005 10:05									#89
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse Pah - Oerdin has no assets anyway

I'm not the richest man on the block but property values have done very well in California (12% last year) and I put a considerable amount down on my house. I could only come up with $20k to put down so my father generously gave me $80k so I wouldn't have to pay for PMI or get a high interest second.

	10-04-2005 10:09									#90
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BTW she and I had a chat about this last week when she asked me if I had thought over her idea of moving in together. I told her I love her and one day I could see it happening but right now was a little to soon. She seemed very understanding. The big deal was she hates her room mate and would like to find a different place and things were going well with us so she thought she'd put up a trial ballon.

It's just as well since my house is kind of far from SDSU where she's attending grad school.