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Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 01:02
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#61 Report this post to a moderator
Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

"drugs, eat poppy seeds, or take any antihistamines w/in 7 days of the test..."

This was dinner last night!?!

chegitz guevara is offline chegitz guevara
King
Ft. Lauderdale, FL Communist Party of Apolyton
Jun 2000
time: 00:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 01:09 Visit chegitz guevara's homepage!
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#62 Report this post to a moderator
Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

quote:
Originally posted by Ogie Oglethorpe
I'ld ask Ward Churchill how he was able to fake it.


His wife was Cherokee and he got honorary membership in her band.

Zkribbler is offline Zkribbler
King
Los Angeles, CA, USA
Feb 1999
time: 21:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 04:41
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(1) Submit a cupful of straight rum instead of urine.
(2) When you get the results back, claim their test is faulty because no one could be that drunk and still be alive.

Theben is offline Theben
Emperor
Dance Dance for the Revolution!
Jan 1970
time: 00:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 04:46
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OR...

Smuggle in someone else's urine, who doesn't do drugs or drink too damn much.

Sally Fields- oops...

Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 04:52
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Zkrib, it was embarrasing. I had to empty my pockets into a drawer which was then locked. (I think she saw my hash pipe & stash ) then I had to go in a bathroom, pee in an open cup and bring the stinky thing back to her and set it in front of her.

She then poured it into a smaller cup and sealed it in front of me, had me initial it and then wash my hands. What could be worse you ask? Well, she was a cute blonde that was embarrassed too, and mad at me because of it!

Ugg.

Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 04:54
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#66 Report this post to a moderator
Inflate your Upload Space

"Smuggle in someone else's urine, who doesn't do drugs or drink too damn much."

Hey, I don't need a job! I could just sell my urine to druggies!

Theben is offline Theben
Emperor
Dance Dance for the Revolution!
Jan 1970
time: 00:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 04:56
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It's been done...

Zkribbler is offline Zkribbler
King
Los Angeles, CA, USA
Feb 1999
time: 21:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 06:51
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Anybody see that pilot TV show last season, which was kinda like Candid Camera only with celebrity look alikes?

One was a fake "Ozzy Osbourne" coming up to people and asking them to pee into a cup so he could pass his drug test. It's surprising how many people did.

"Madonna" and "JLo" got into a shouting & shoving match in a Beverly Hills bistro.

"Tiger Woods" gave free golf lessons, in which he'd get on a loud speaker an announce to the world how bad the golfing students were. One guy got so ticked, he broke one of "Tiger's" gold clubs in two.

Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 09:00
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Suffering from ads?

Zkrib, the good shows don't do so well do they?

I can's see Ozzy having any trouble passing a pee test.

Sikander is offline Sikander
King
Boulder, Colorado, United Snakes of America
Jan 2000
time: 22:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 15:42
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Re: Re: Re: I'm an injun, 1/16th, and I need to prove it to get a job. Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

quote:
Originally posted by chegitz guevara

Bunnygrrl's grandmother used to say she was half Indian (other half being Black), and so BG thought she was 1/8th Indian. As I kept pressing her for info, so she could get Federal scholarships, we discovered that really she (her grandmother) was half white, but was ashamed of being half white and so said her folks were both half Indian. Interestingly, a LOT of Black people have significant amounts of Indian ancestry. Lotta race-mixing between Indians and Blacks in the South.


And whites.

Sikander is offline Sikander
King
Boulder, Colorado, United Snakes of America
Jan 2000
time: 22:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 15:45
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quote:
Originally posted by Vince278


Thats pretty much what I was trying to say. One thing that bugs me about the number of ancestors is it don't add up. If you consider each generation 25 years then going back 1000 years would mean 40 generations. Then the number of ancestors you have 1000 years ago would be 2^40 (2 to the 40th power) or more than 1 trillion. This is WAY more than the population of the entire world at the time. And the further back you go the worse it gets. (Try carrying this back to 4000BC!)


A lot of duplications explains this handily. You should be able (theorectically) to trace a lot of your ancestors back to earlier ancestors. If we suppose that there was an original human mother and father, then everyone in your family tree will be able to trace their ancestry back to them.

Sikander is offline Sikander
King
Boulder, Colorado, United Snakes of America
Jan 2000
time: 22:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 15:47
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quote:
Originally posted by Zkribbler


"Colonel Custer. Colonel George Armstrong Custer, your hearst is waiting."



While we're correcting things, are you sure you didn't mean Hearse rather than Hearst? The first is a wagon or car used to transport bodies to funerals or mortuaries, the second was a famous publisher.

chegitz guevara is offline chegitz guevara
King
Ft. Lauderdale, FL Communist Party of Apolyton
Jun 2000
time: 00:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 19:30 Visit chegitz guevara's homepage!
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Re: Re: Re: Re: I'm an injun, 1/16th, and I need to prove it to get a job. Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

quote:
Originally posted by Sikander
And whites.


Whites and Indians or whites and blacks?

pchang is offline pchang
King
Cupertino?
Aug 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 19:52
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All of the above. When it comes down to it, there are a lot of Ted Strikers out there.

Japher is offline Japher
Prince
Ook! Ook! Ack! Ack! Ack!
Jun 2002
time: 05:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 19:59
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quote:
(1) Submit a cupful of straight rum instead of urine.
(2) When you get the results back, claim their test is faulty because no one could be that drunk and still be alive.


What are you talking about? With that alcohol level they'll probably wonder if he's 100% injun

Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 20:15
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Japher, that's just evil!

Japher is offline Japher
Prince
Ook! Ook! Ack! Ack! Ack!
Jun 2002
time: 05:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 20:28
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pchang is offline pchang
King
Cupertino?
Aug 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 20:54
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#78 Report this post to a moderator
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Results should be back in a few days. So, Lancer should be employed and not posting here in a week.

Japher is offline Japher
Prince
Ook! Ook! Ack! Ack! Ack!
Jun 2002
time: 05:33
  Old Post 11-05-2005 20:55
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Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Theben is offline Theben
Emperor
Dance Dance for the Revolution!
Jan 1970
time: 00:33
  Old Post 12-05-2005 03:19
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#80 Report this post to a moderator
Got spare money?

We can't get that lucky.

Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 12-05-2005 09:08
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There should be some kind of group therapy thing you guys can do. Get some help for your depression.

I'll miss you.

Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 14-05-2005 04:38
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I got the call, work Monday at 10:00 AM! Full time 40...

My piss

chegitz guevara is offline chegitz guevara
King
Ft. Lauderdale, FL Communist Party of Apolyton
Jun 2000
time: 00:33
  Old Post 14-05-2005 04:47 Visit chegitz guevara's homepage!
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CONGRATS!!!

Theben is offline Theben
Emperor
Dance Dance for the Revolution!
Jan 1970
time: 00:33
  Old Post 14-05-2005 04:49
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#84 Report this post to a moderator
Full PM-box? Change here!

quote:
Originally posted by Lancer
I got the call, work Monday at 10:00 AM! Full time 40...

My piss



There's a party in yer piss jar and everyone's invited?

Seriously, tho, congrats

Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 14-05-2005 04:52
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Che, to your new job and mine.

Thanks Theben, feels good to not be the only one in the house without a job.

Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 15-05-2005 22:01
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Tomorrow at 10AM will be the first time I've worked since September 27th.

I'm a little bit nervous...wierd huh? All the stuff I've seen and done, all the places I've been and worked...

Zkribbler is offline Zkribbler
King
Los Angeles, CA, USA
Feb 1999
time: 21:33
  Old Post 15-05-2005 22:10
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Lancer's piss

No need to be nervous. Providing security at a casino is no big deal. All you have to do is slip me the combination to the vault and the look the other way while me & me boys clean the place out. (I've been playing a lot of Thief II lately, so I'm ready. [Memo to self: keep crouched down, next to a wall, move slowly, no swords or bows & arrows unless you intend to use them.])

Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 15-05-2005 22:23
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Actually I'll be driving the casino bus. I thought about security but at my last job those guys were a pain to the other employees. I'm sure I could get in with my army background, most of those guys have military experience, but eh.

I'm sure it will be ok. The people that work there are pretty happy and all say they like the management. The last place I worked, the management were complete *******s.

Zkribbler is offline Zkribbler
King
Los Angeles, CA, USA
Feb 1999
time: 21:33
Cool  Old Post 16-05-2005 08:02
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quote:
Originally posted by Lancer


Actually I'll be driving the casino bus.


Hmmm, not much I can do with a stolen bus . . . except pretend I'm Clint Eastwood in Gauntlet

quote:

I know what you're asking yourself. Did I put in six gallons of gas, or only five. Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I kinda lost track myself. But considering this bus has a 4400-horsepower semi-hemi-demi-deisel engine, the most power engine known to man, and if I pop a wheelie, your guts will be squashed all over the back of the bus, you have to ask yourself one question. "Do I feel lucky?" Well...do you? Punk.

Lancer is offline Lancer
Emperor
Oregon Coast, USA! or Bohol, Philippines!
Apr 1999
time: 05:33
  Old Post 16-05-2005 10:16
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Only one hole in your plan Zkrib. If they aren't "feeling lucky" then wtf are they doing on a casino bus?

 
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