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Gatekeeper
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United States of America
Feb 2000 time: 23:21
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This thread is hilarious.
When I was younger, I'd go out and attack the ant hills that were scattered across our acreage. I'd wage war on the black ants, the black-and-red ants, the red ants and the orange ants. I'd kill a portion of the nest and carry off as many surviving workers, queens, soldiers and drones as possible to start a colony in an old fish aquarium.
I especially enjoyed using a hammer on the acid-spitting soldier ants (BTW, all ants are *female* except for the drones, which are lazy males whose only duty is to impregnate queens-to-be). Once their ranks were cleared, the nest would fall victim to a barrage of firecrackers, hot water and poison. I tell ya, I was like a Roman general in those affairs — kill the colony, salt the land and carry off the survivors to labor away in my little fish aquarium. Ah, the POWER! It was an ELIXIR!
*cough* Ahem. Yes, well, as I was saying: I collected ants when I was a young lad on the farm.
Gatekeeper 
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