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Kontiki
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Canada
Aug 2001
time: 00:37
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quote:
Originally posted by Pekka
Done some bjj stuff, and that's 'sex positions' for homophobes, but when you do it, it's not on anyone's mind. There's very little gay with it. |
But it's that little bit of gay that makes it extra fun, right Pekka?
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St Leo
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Member of the Apolyton Social Democratic Party
Jul 2005
time: 00:37
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quote:
Originally posted by boann
A neo-feminist's view of abstinence
By Elizabeth Sandoval
Fri Aug 19, 7:24 AM ET
I don't want to have sex. Clarification: I do want to have sex, but only with my husband. And I don't have one of those yet. |
That's nice, oh qualified-person-with-life-experience.
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I am not an ultraconservative... I am cute... [not] bitter |
Howsaboot "crackpot"? May I call you a "crackpot"?
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What I am is a neo-feminist. |
Great. Well, at least you have the good grace to add a prefix. *******s tend to just ascribe their meaning to the original term
Still, I now have to call myself a paleo-feminist. And I am not actually that paleo-. 1890s feminists were rather sexist and reactionary.
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Definition: "One who respects her body so much that she won't allow it to be used as someone's playground." |
Uh, my-body-is-a-temple person... You do realize you can't take it with you when you go, right?
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Handsome Man at a Bar, you think I'm cute? Thanks. Do you appreciate me or the idea of having sex with me? Because your thinking has likely been influenced by the cavortings of Samantha and Co. in the "city" or the women in most rap videos. I am not those women. |
So, what are you doing in a bar again? Getting smashed for the sheer alcoholism of it all?
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Members of the "Sex is Natural and Fun and If It Makes You Happy, It Can't Be That Bad" club want sex so badly that they willingly and repeatedly live out the following scenario: Things go "great" for a month or two. Sex quickly becomes a part of your interactions. Maybe he even meets your parents. And then, well, things just change. He dumps you or you dump him. |
Problem: Relationships aren't permanent.
Solution: Stay out of relationships. Wait for a permanent relationship to appear. You've never been in such a thing, and you haven't even had the decency of spending at least thirty years in one before harping on about them, but you assure us that they do exist, and you demand that we drop everything and wait for one of 'em along with you.
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Regardless of why the relationship died, you are now one of many women whom he could point out on the street. "See her?" he can tell his buddies. "She's cute, huh? Yeah, I had her." I never want to be "her." |
Why do you give a **** about what people you'll never give the time of day to again think? Any why do you have sex with people who think of sex in terms of possession? Eeew.
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... Well, maybe one out of two marriages end in divorce precisely because people are too free with sex. |
I am not sure if I could call this reductionism, or if calling this reductionism would be an insult to reductionism.
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Many women today are weak-minded in that they readily accept society's portrayal of sexual norms. |
Yes, they should be weak-minded and accept your sexual norms instead.
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The people on The O.C. are doing it. Paris Hilton, as she's hosing down that Bentley, appears ready to do it. |
I have a better idea. How about instead of sticking burqas and chastity belts on CRAP, we get rid of CRAP and start creating and admiring works of quality instead?
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And more important, many people they actually know are doing it. |
OMFG. Kill them. Kill them all. Stone those who do not behave like you.
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Women are non-self-respecting because they willingly sacrifice such an important part of their being for just a few moments of pleasure. |
Self-respect has nothing to do with how much sex you are having. I repeat. Self-respect has nothing to do with how much sex you are having.
Self-respect is defined by -- get this -- how proud you are of your life. Duuuuuh.
Of course, you wouldn't know, because you don't actually have any self-respect of your own. Instead, you cover it up by writing sanctimonious little treatises
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And they're oblivious because they don't contemplate the profoundness of sex. |
Sex is a biological function. It's fun to do. It's even more fun if you can make jokes about Nietzsche and hexadecimal at your partner and make them snicker.
What's the profound bit? Do I need to go to your bar and get smashed with you before your philosophy starts making sense?
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Women give it up as if it's nothing. When in fact, it is everything. |
No, it's not, you crackpot.
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St Leo
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Member of the Apolyton Social Democratic Party
Jul 2005
time: 00:37
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quote:
Originally posted by Ben Kenobi
So, then this lady should be calling herself a proper feminist, and leave the neo- to the new age ones. |
"Feminist" is a neologism being applied to a historical context in my sentence, though. Those people called themselves Suffragists and advocates of Women's Rights. Same fight, different era.
It is curious that Blair's Neo-Liberalism and blather of Third Way resembles the cocktail of Classical Liberalism most. Libertarians sometimes try to claim its mantle of laissez-faire and social sanity, but they are erroneous in that -- they are no closer to Classical Liberalism than SocDems are.
As for Conservatism... well, it's platform used to be Good Old Days (these days, US Conservatives aim more for Counter-Liberalism than actual Conservatism, which is rather dumb on their part). Its inception lies with various brands of Royalism, Monarchism, and advocacy of a Restoration.
This post is also largely blather. Blah.
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shawnmmcc
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OK - I'll bite (at the troll, that is).
St. Leo, I have NO idea of what Boann's life was like, but I can tell you from personal experience, and my wife doing intake assessments for children and adolescents at a large, federally mandate mental health group (weird local complexity) that self-respect can be very difficult for some people. It's call - context.
Now I was fortunate. My mother realized my father's flaws in time to intervene. However, my older brother was not so lucky, and pretty much had his self-esteem, self-respect, and a large part of his personality flattened. This from the time period good Catholics don't get divorced, Dad's are obviously going to rougher on boys, and suck it up mentality.
My wife had several children, daily, coming in, who would have envied my brother. This was on a daily basis for TWO years (and is related to why she stopped working there). What I am establishing background here for is that it is not quite so easy as you propose, for many people.
Do they need to get over it. Yes, if they are going to have a life. Plus, doing the revenge/anger/bitterness stage, living well is truly the best revenge. But, and here is the critical thing, due to personality, life situation, or simple rotten luck some people don't. To give you an example, the girl who is raped but has family support, finds a good counselor, and who has her head on straight anyway, has a much better chance to deal with that trauma than...
The girl who was mentally browbeaten day after day, derided constantly, with the only positive attention, if one can call it that, over her looks and if she put out for a boyfriend. Maybe she was abused by a parent, relative, or someone in a position of authority. To rant at someone, without knowing the context of their rant, shows you to be, well, I will let co-posters draw their own conclusions.
Have you been through a divorce, paticularly a nasty one after a bad marraige? It can devastate people's self-esteem, especially if the spouse was abusive. Try maybe asking questions instant of having a verbal temper tantrum, and you may actually convince. Unless, of course, you have no intention of doing that, and only want to impress others via your unpleasantness. Which FYI very seldom works, in case you have not figured it out yet.
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Drogue
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Omnipresent conscience
Oct 2002
time: 05:37
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quote:
Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui
But yes, I fear that those who stick to abstinence until marriage don't have respect for themselves, just like those who'll screw everything that moves.
They won't trust their own judgment, but will conform. |
 I couldn't agree more. As Che said, feminism is about empowerment to do what you want to, what you feel comfortable with, rather than what society says you should. That means not being pressured into sex, or motherhood, or staying at home, or employment, or abstinance. Everyone should have that choice.
quote:
Originally posted by chegitz guevara
Feminism is about choice, the coice not to have sex, the choice to have sex with a few people, the choice to be a "slut." |
quote:
Originally posted by chegitz guevara
Sex is a great form of entertainment, and there's nothing wrong with that. It is also a way to express one's feelings for another, deeping and strengthen bonds, etc. I don't think one should cancel out the other. |
Couldn't agree more. Sex can be many things to many people, and someone's desire for it to be special shouldn't stop someone else enjoying it as a form of entertainment.
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shawnmmcc
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St. Leo - I was wondering if you had a bad day, I wasn't sure. Apologies that I started to get a bit irked towards the end - as I explained my context, my brother who I still love will never be right, and he no more has the ability to keep his life "normal" than a quadraplegic. Sorry I started to get personal there, I broke my own rules.
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22-08-2005 02:30
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