26-08-2005 10:09									#31
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quote: Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly Given recent developments in the beverage world, I must insist on this commandment: Only Beer is beer, and thou shalt have no other beer than Beer. The ale, the porter, the stout, the lambic -- these for you may be Beer. But verily, Zima is not beer; nor is Bud Extreme beer. And if it tastes more like lemonade, or fruit punch, or wine cooler than beer, then, even if it is called beer, thou shalt not drink of it, for it is not Beer.

Amen and Halleujah

	26-08-2005 10:16									#32
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Rufus

And to Imran

"If thou spillist drops of beer, without prior announcement of homage being given to fallen allies or past kin, thou hast sinned and shall pay penance."

	26-08-2005 10:19									#33
	Re: I want to start a religion based on beer. Put an end to popups!

quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui But I need some principles and a Holy Book of course. I figure there are so many religions that put down alcohol (and one, Catholicism that seems to really, really embrace it), that beer needs some help (without the pointy hats... unless if we get real drunk and decide to put napkins on our heads). So, we need some Commandments first of all...

I am pretty sure IU joined it
;jm

	26-08-2005 10:19									#34
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of course I can't see streainght


jm

	26-08-2005 10:38									#35
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quote: Originally posted by Theben Rufus And to Imran "If thou spillist drops of beer, without prior announcement of homage being given to fallen allies or past kin, thou hast sinned and shall pay penance."

Oh thats a good one.... No sympathy for the beer abuser and waster

	26-08-2005 10:44									#36
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Penance being:

Say 5 Our Barleys

And five Hail Malties.

ACK!

	26-08-2005 10:53									#37
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quote: Originally posted by Mrs. Tuberski ah dude that was my next one man but I was having trouble with the words cause i would never break that commandment

I've broken this commandment many a time. When I'm sh** out of luck and I hear my neighbors crack open a bottle...that *psssshhht!* sound gets my attention.

	26-08-2005 10:56									#38
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quote: Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly Given recent developments in the beverage world, I must insist on this commandment: Only Beer is beer, and thou shalt have no other beer than Beer. The ale, the porter, the stout, the lambic -- these for you may be Beer. But verily, Zima is not beer; nor is Bud Extreme beer. And if it tastes more like lemonade, or fruit punch, or wine cooler than beer, then, even if it is called beer, thou shalt not drink of it, for it is not Beer.

This is very true. This should be the first vows spoken of the new beer religion!

Our religion takes all comers, light, dark, ale, stout, lager, warm, cold, pint, ounce, liter. For beer is beer.

	26-08-2005 11:55									#39
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quote: Originally posted by Tuberski Penance being: Say 5 Our Barleys And five Hail Malties. ACK!

Shouldn't that be Hail Bloody Marys? If Xians can worship a jew, surely we can acknowledge other alcolholic drinks.

	26-08-2005 11:56									#40
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My contribution to the theology of the New Faith:

ONE: 'Thou shall have no other suds before Me.'

TWO: 'Thou shall not make for yourself a carbonated image--any taste of anything that is a vodka cooler, or that is a fruity beverage, or that is watered down.'

THREE: 'Thou shall not take the name of the LORD your Brew in vain.'

FOUR: 'Remember the Big Game, to keep it holy.'

FIVE: 'Honor your hops and malt.'

SIX: 'Thou shall not kill the taste.'

SEVEN: 'Thou shall not commit adulteration, either with tomato juice or with ginger ale.'

EIGHT: 'Thou shall not chug.'

NINE: 'Thou shall not bear false witness against your bar tab'

TEN: 'thou shall not covet your neighbour's keg; you shall not covet your neighbour's fridge, nor his six pack, nor his beer mugs, nor his rec room, nor his big screen TV, nor anything that is your neighbour's.'

Last edited by techumseh on 26-08-2005 at 23:05

	26-08-2005 13:27									#41
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Can I be the pope in this new religion?

	26-08-2005 13:42									#42
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Wir sind Papst!

	26-08-2005 15:11									#43
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Then can I be the chief of the Congregation of the Faith?
You know, the one that denounces heresies.

	26-08-2005 15:19									#44
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I would trust only a native Bavarian with that duty. Which would naturally exclude me as immigrant. Others might allow ingredients other than barley, hops and water, a Bavarian however would punish this crime and burn the heretic at the stake.

You know what, Heresson, you can be pope, if you want. But let a Bavarian be Inquisitor. Ratzinger for teh win! Or Stoiber.

	26-08-2005 16:52									#45
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I don't trust Stoiber. He would fight just for some personal preferred beer. We need someone who would fight for TEH TRUE BEER, including inquisition and beer-crusades.

	26-08-2005 18:15									#46
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maybe you should become a HeBREW

http://www.shmaltz.com/index1.html

'Genesis Ale:

Our First Creation

Crisp, smooth and perfectly balanced between a west coast style pale and amber ale, with a supple malt sweetness and a pronounced hop flourish.

Malts: 2-row, Caramel 40L, Dark Crystal, Munich, Wheat

Hops: Warrior, Northern Brewer, Willamette

"4 Stars...This lovely ale deserves a wide interdenominational audience." - San Diego Union-Tribune'


Or

'Messiah Bold:

It's the Beer You've Been Waiting For!

**NEW RECIPE AND A NEW STYLE!**
A deep, bold nut brown ale beautifully balanced with rich dark malts and a complex hop character converging to reveal a simply enchanting elixir.

Malts: 2-row, Carapils, Dark Crystal/ Caramel 80L, Dark Chocolate, Victory

Hops: Warrior, Cascade, Mt. Hood

"HE'BREW could bring a whole new meaning to the term High Holidays...genuinely delicious brew!" - Jerusalem Report'

	26-08-2005 18:20									#47
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I would.
We must gather a synodus and establish church union with either wine or vodka; we'll make a nice crusade together and liberate our Holy Lands, whatever we capture, that is. 3 crusades against one shall be enough I guess, then we'll come to phase B. We must beware of internal enemies, as well - the pesky liquor drinkers living among us and the beer heretics. We must reveal the horrors of heresy of non-alcoholic beers (forgive The lord, their producents, for we shall not) and, as burning them on stake is not quite possiblle, we must overcome our disgust and drink it until there's not a single drop left!

	26-08-2005 18:47									#48
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Thou shall keep the sabbath holy during football season.
And all women will observe such sabbaths with vows of silence and making sure that the holy beverage is in plentiful supply.

	26-08-2005 19:04									#49
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quote: Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly Given recent developments in the beverage world, I must insist on this commandment: Only Beer is beer, and thou shalt have no other beer than Beer. The ale, the porter, the stout, the lambic -- these for you may be Beer. But verily, Zima is not beer; nor is Bud Extreme beer. And if it tastes more like lemonade, or fruit punch, or wine cooler than beer, then, even if it is called beer, thou shalt not drink of it, for it is not Beer.

I was thinking of how exactly to phrase it. That's perfect.

quote: originally posted by tecumseh ONE: 'Thou shall have no other suds before Me.

One slight change: Thou shalt have no other drink before beer.

For yay, it is a jealous beer, who must be drunk above all others and more than all others. And we bow our heads in forgiveness and drink more of the wonderous ambrosia.

And of course, a prayer:

Our brewmaster, who brewed this beverage, hallowed by thy hops
Thy tavern come
Thy will be done
(drunken warblings till this end)

	26-08-2005 19:06									#50
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Let's all bow before the new Beer-Messiah

	26-08-2005 21:56									#51
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beer

	26-08-2005 22:58									#52
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Beer thread!

I have nothing to add except my avatar: have a beer.

	26-08-2005 23:16									#53
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what shall be done about the "light" beer heresy that spreads upon the land?

	26-08-2005 23:21									#54
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quote: Originally posted by shawnmmcc The Vat of the Covenant. (SORRY I didn't resize it.)

I think we realized that

	26-08-2005 23:41									#55
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Why not open a brewery?
Pope's Pilsner, comes to mind.

	27-08-2005 00:26									#56
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quote: Originally posted by GePap what shall be done about the "light" beer heresy that spreads upon the land?

I believe Holy War is the only proper action to take.

	27-08-2005 01:19									#57
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui I believe Holy War is the only proper action to take.

Ditto for malt beverages.

	27-08-2005 01:42									#58
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quote: Originally posted by BeBro I don't trust Stoiber. He would fight just for some personal preferred beer. We need someone who would fight for TEH TRUE BEER, including inquisition and beer-crusades.

I thought Stoiber was anti-alcoholic? A german friend once told me that he never drinks beer, just poses with it before TV cams, because that's what people expect.

	27-08-2005 02:27									#59
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quote: Originally posted by rah Thou shall keep the sabbath holy during football season. And all women will observe such sabbaths with vows of silence and making sure that the holy beverage is in plentiful supply.

Hey wait a minute thats not fair for those of us women who like the football season. for one I keep it holy with plenty of beer on hand. I demand a rewording if that commandment is to be considered( Or maybe sounds nicer if i make the request instead of the demand )

	27-08-2005 02:46									#60
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i'm in.