23-07-2001 03:42									#31
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deleted because of stupidity.

Last edited by Method on 31-08-2002 at 19:04

	23-07-2001 19:33									#32
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*easily amused by nerd humor*

	23-07-2001 19:33									#33
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Sorry about the double post, Markos.

Last edited by death_head on 23-07-2001 at 20:49

	23-07-2001 20:17									#34
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Hmm... maybe a joke thread should be started.. I'd like to see what all of us can come up with

	23-07-2001 21:29									#35
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What do you get when you cross a morganite with a spartan?

A republican

yuk yuk yuk

	23-07-2001 21:41									#36
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What do you get when you cross a Gaian with a Peacekeeper?

A democrat

yuk yuk yuk

Ok, somehow it's not as funny, even though I picked the two opposites...

	23-07-2001 21:52									#37
	Inflate your Upload Space

Hoek you little child

*thinks of the millions of clinton jokes he can pull*

	23-07-2001 23:10									#38
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Hey! I resent that! I am technically an adult now!

What do you get when you cross a cyborg with a caretaker?

Al: Gore

What do you get when you cross Sister Miriam with the Provost?

A confused child

What do you get when you cross DataJack with Svensgaard?

A nerdy pirate

What do you get when you cross a Cult member with a Usurper?

Rebel without a cause

	23-07-2001 23:56									#39
	Put an end to popups!

What do you get when you cross a Miriam with Yang?

A southern baptist

	24-07-2001 00:06									#40
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How do you stop a believer hover-tank?

shoot the guy pushing the cardboard box

how do you spot a believer in xenofungus?

he's carrying a pig looking for xeno truffles

believer inventions:

screen doors on submersable hull foils
boomerang gas-grenades
roto-copter ejection seats


---what is really being grown in those hydroponic skylabs?

	24-07-2001 00:23									#41
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quote: What do you get when you cross a cyborg with a caretaker? Al: Gore

That's better

	24-07-2001 02:19									#42
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quote: Originally posted by Hoek How do you stop a believer hover-tank? shoot the guy pushing the cardboard box how do you spot a believer in xenofungus? he's carrying a pig looking for xeno truffles believer inventions: screen doors on submersable hull foils boomerang gas-grenades roto-copter ejection seats ---what is really being grown in those hydroponic skylabs?

Those were actually Swedish inventions
Q:Why did the Believer Chaos 'chopper crash?

A: The pilot felt cold, so he turned the air conditioning off

(You might lose something in this rather crude translation)

	24-07-2001 02:23									#43
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Q. What did the Gaian talent say when he inadvertantly saw Deidre naked?

A. Damn, she's hot.

This is funny, of course, because the Gaians have no talents.

Of course, the Gaians have talents, so this isn't funny after all.

This has been a humorless post by death_head.

	31-08-2001 22:26									#44
	One Good 'Knock Knock' Enter the AD-FREE zone

I loved this thread and in response to a previous enquiry for a knock knock Progenitor joke, prepare to groan...

At Caretaker HQ

Knock Knock
Inquiry : Identity of Progenitor
H'minee
(Silence)

Knock Knock
Inquiry : Identity of Progentior
H'minee
(Silence)

Knock Knock
Inquiry : Identity of Progenitor
H'minee
Inquiry : H'minee who
H'minee times must Progenitor knock : upon door?

[Okay not hillarious, but doesn't H'minee sound like Harmony, plus how many?]

Alynzia : must get a life

	01-09-2001 00:25									#45
	Remove this text

Actually, quite good. Alynizia, particularly compared to the previous thread killer by death_head.

	01-09-2001 19:55									#46
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OK, this isn't so AC-related, but nerd humor nonetheless.

Knock knock.

Who is it?

Kosh.

Kosh who?

Bless you!

OK, not that funny, but guess where it is from.

	01-09-2001 20:28									#47
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I'll hazard a guess that you are referring to Ambassador Kosh from the Babylon 5 series, IMHO one of, if not the best, science fiction show ever put out on the air-waves.

	01-09-2001 21:19									#48
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quote: Originally posted by kassiopeia Those were actually Swedish inventions Q:Why did the Believer Chaos 'chopper crash? A: The pilot felt cold, so he turned the air conditioning off (You might lose something in this rather crude translation)

I've heard that one before.

It is nice to find something that Finns and Norwegians can agree on.

Those wacky Swedes...

	03-09-2001 02:20									#49
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quote: Originally posted by Wiglaf That's better

Who is the Morgan representative to the Xenoempathy Dome?

Bush

------------------------------------------------------------

How do you put four Gaian blondes on one chair?

Turn the chair over


How do you put four Caretaker babes on one chair?

You just can't (no matter what you do)

------------------------------------------------------------

What is the latest pop album sensation in Data Angel Land?

"OK Computer" by Radiohack


What is the most popular song in Pirate Land?

"Pure Shores" by No Saints

------------------------------------------------------------

(HAR HAR HAR HAR)

	03-09-2001 04:28									#50
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Four University engineers are trolling over the fungus on a rover when the vehicle suddenly stops. Each one of them gives their suggestion about the problem:
The mechanical engineer: "maybe it's a problem with the gear box".
The chemical engineer: "I disagree. It has to be something related to the fuel composition".
The electrical engineer: "No, no, no... The battery is low".

And the computing engineer: "What if we get out of the rover and then get in it again?"

Ok, maybe I lost something on the translation...

	03-09-2001 04:30									#51
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sound: knocks on door

query: identity?

identity: Carmen

elaborate: Carmen?

door: Carmen open!

("Come and open the door")

I know, that's just a regular knock-knock joke translated into Progenitor-translation. And it's only funny if you have an Australian accent. I'll just go away now.

	04-09-2001 14:37									#52
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[This is a variation on an old joke, but it who cares anyway, right?]

Miriam knew if she farted in the new Progenitor resonance chamber she would never hear the end of it...


Alynzia.

	04-09-2001 18:01									#53
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How do you identify a Believer spy in a Spartan submarine.



He is the only guy with a parachute

	04-09-2001 19:36									#54
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QUOTE: I'll hazard a guess -

Who are you, Richard Marx?
Anyway, correct.

How do you sink a Believer sub?
Knock on the door.


Now what we need is a joke in the style of "A Believer, a Spartan and a Peacekeeper were all in a Chaos Needlejet" or somesuch.

	04-09-2001 23:00									#55
	Remove this text

quote: Originally posted by Alynzia [This is a variation on an old joke, but it who cares anyway, right?] Miriam knew if she farted in the new Progenitor resonance chamber she would never hear the end of it... Alynzia.

*laughs his a@@ off laughing*

	05-09-2001 04:57									#56
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quote: Originally posted by kassiopeia Who are you, Richard Marx?

Being sleep deprived, I'm not sure I understand the reference.

Enlightenment: desired.

	14-05-2002 03:16									#57
	Put an end to popups!

Three University scientists are sitting on a bench in the front of a building.

They see two people enter the building... and three come out of it.

The Engineer: There was probably a tunnel underneath the building, from where the person came.

The Biologist: The two probably reproduced.

The Mathematician has a pause, pondering, and then says: That building has minus one person.



BUMP!

	14-05-2002 06:09									#58
	Got spare money?

Heres one:

Two Hive citizens are walking to the feeding bay, using their allocated free time, one thinks up a joke. He turns to the other worker and begins-

Citizen A: Hey did you hear the one about...

Citizen B: [interrupts] NO, and you didn't either! [looks around, paranoid]

*groan*

	15-05-2002 01:07									#59
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ok Her is my humble atempt at a Crashing Neddle Jet joke

Lal, Morgan and Yang are in a Crashing Needle Jet with only 2 Parachutes. Lal says "we must deside who will live in a fair and democratic manor" to witch Yang responds "You are a pusilanimous Wimp Lal and I will not be bound by your idiotic democracy". Yang then rushes over and grabs a parachute and begins putting it on and yells "do not try to interfere" and then jumps, his parachute opens flawlessly and he gently desends to earth ware he is sucked into a Recyling tank air inlet and prematurly becomes one with all the people. Back in the Jet Morgan turns to Lal and says "I am the wealthiest and wisest man on Planet I should be alowed to take the last parachute". Lal says "This is true my friend you are indeed great and wise and are deserving of the last parachute, but I fear you would be missing an excelent buisness oportunity in doing so". Morgan's eyes grow large and as he begins to salivate he asks "what oportunity would that be". Lal responds "why perchasing from me this high tec parachute made of super tensile solids, guaranteed never to fail, I could let you have it for a mear 1200 Energy Credits and your files on Digital Sentience". "Excelent I will except your porposal" says Morgan, he takes the sack from Lal puts it on, Lal puts on the last parachute. They jump together and Morgan pulls his cord first and watches in dismay as a dozen dirty turbines come out of the pack and fly away. Morgan screams "That was your Dirty Laundry you sold me! I demand a Refund!!". Lal retorts "Sorry CEO Satisfaction is Not Guarenteed" and pulls his own cord. Morgan plumets into a Fungal Bloom witch amazingly cushens his fall only to leave him to be devoured by Mind worms that had lost their homes when a Morganic BoreHole was Built. Lal desend safly in Peacekeeper territory and is picked up by a terraforming crew. The End.

	15-05-2002 01:50									#60
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Wow, kass, this is what I call the resurrection of a thread...