18-07-2001 06:23									#1
	A joke I overheard Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

One Caretaker says to another Caretaker, "Joke: directed to you. Usurpers: most annoying trait?"

The other responds, "Answer: inconceivable."

The first exclaims, "Existance: they possess! Har! Har! Har!"

[Note: I may have lost something in the translation....?]

	18-07-2001 06:58									#2
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Last edited by Wiglaf on 25-05-2004 at 19:39

	18-07-2001 11:08									#3
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A little worm told me- or was that 'telepathically instilled the vision in my mind before ingesting my grey matter'?

	18-07-2001 18:48									#4
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I take it this is a joke thread?

If that's the case then just say so

	18-07-2001 19:34									#5
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One Usurper says to another Usurper, "Joke: directed to you. Caretakers: most annoying trait?"

The other responds, "Answer: inconceivable."

The first exclaims, "Existance: they possess! Har! Har! Har!"

Oh am I funny

	19-07-2001 09:07									#6
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Funny: Maybe..

Original: Not likely..

	19-07-2001 10:16									#7
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Would fit well in "Lal's Book of Recycling Tank Humor"

	19-07-2001 19:33									#8
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What do you mean my joke wasn't original? I don't see any others exactly like it!

If someone ever compiles a bunch of SMAC jokes and publishes it as "Lal's Book of Recycling Tank Humor", I'll be the first in line.

	19-07-2001 19:34									#9
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Along with countless variations on

"A mindworm walks into a bar . . ."

"How many mindworms does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

"Lal, Morgan, and Yang were on a crashing needlejet with only two parachutes . . "

and "Gaian farmers' daughter" jokes.

	19-07-2001 20:00									#10
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Someone try to make a knock knock joke with the Caretakers. I'm now confident it's impossible.

	19-07-2001 20:32									#11
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Knock knock

Who's there?

Caretakers

Caretakers who?

Knock knock

Who's there?

Caretakers

Caretakers who?

Knock knock

Who's there?

Caretakers

Caretakers who?

Knock knock

Who's there?

Orange

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say Caretakers?

	19-07-2001 21:09									#12
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WRONG!

I meant make a joke with the caretakers talking in their language. (Existance: they possess, for example) You thought you had me beat with that .. thing!

	20-07-2001 01:44									#13
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"Main entrance: receives double rap."

"Response: identify self?"

"Identity confirmation: Deirdre"

"Secondary indentity query: Deirdre specify?"

"Conclusion: Deirdre hear the one about the Usurpers? Har, Har, Har!"

	20-07-2001 02:26									#14
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That wasn't the caretakers talking...that was two Hive drones on lunch break (if they get one)

	20-07-2001 17:14									#15
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Along the same lines:

"Entrance: concussed twice consecutively"

"Response: identify self?"

"Identity confirmation: Yang

"Information: insufficient. Yang: specify?"

"Conclusion: Yang Usurpers: equally stupid: old Usurpers! :laughter:"

	20-07-2001 18:52									#16
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AH HAHAHA! LOL! Aha!


ah, hum.... :wipes tear:

Those Caretakers have one hellava sense a' humor, I tell ya'!

	20-07-2001 19:00									#17
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My wife: take please.

	20-07-2001 19:52									#18
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Earwicker, you just gave a bad name to recycling tank humor.

Do we really have nothing better to do...

	20-07-2001 20:01									#19
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quote: Originally posted by SMACed Earwicker, you just gave a bad name to recycling tank humor. Do we really have nothing better to do...

Resist: could not.

Million of 'em: I got.

(okay, I'll stop now)

	21-07-2001 01:54									#21
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What did Yang say to Santiago after disappointing her in the bedroom?

"But Corazon, I thought you preferred flexibility!"

	21-07-2001 02:02									#22
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--Receives Lal's Book of Recycling Tank Humor. Reads jokes. Changes title to Lal's Book of Bathroom Humor--

It's official: we have way too much time on our hands.

	21-07-2001 02:43									#23
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...To which Santiago responded, Sheng-Ji, you are about to receive some serious information before your senses.

	21-07-2001 04:09									#24
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From a joke thread to a spam thread ... or was there a difference in the first place ...

Yeah, we definitely have too much time to spend on these forums, but hey it's a friday. Loosen up, man

I really think we'd better get a bit more substance behind these posts, it'll be locked before we know it ... and we just started the first book of rec tank jokes...and no, it will not become a bathroom humor collection.. how could you even suggest such an awful, awful thing...

	21-07-2001 05:49									#25
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I don't have SMAC, but from these posts I take it the aliens have personalities, and peculiar syntactcal structures when speaking Galactic?

Ken

	21-07-2001 08:27									#26
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There is no pan galactic civilization or language in smax. It is a first contact for both species. The very nature of oral communication for the progenitors is so different from that of humans that any translation tends to be strained.

	21-07-2001 15:11									#27
	Put an end to popups!

On a completely unrelated subject: according to the dates on the official Firaxis website, Chairman Sheng-ji Yang is now two years old.

Anyone else for finding him wherever he is and stomping on him quick?

By the way, Zakharov is also five years old, and Morgan will be born in three years.

That's odd...I always figured Lal was older than Morgan...

Last edited by Clear Skies on 21-07-2001 at 15:33

	21-07-2001 18:04									#28
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One Caretaker says to another Caretaker, "Joke: directed to you. Usurper: crossed road: why?"

The other responds, "Answer: inconceivable."

The first exclaims, "The other side: to get to. Har Har Har."

[Note: I may have lost something in the translation....?]

another for: "Lal's book of Recycled Humor"
'tank': ommited deliberately

	22-07-2001 01:42									#29
	Put an end to popups!

One Caretaker says to another Caretaker, "Joke: directed to you. Usurper: crossed road: why?"

The other responds, "Answer: inconceivable."

The first exclaims, "Demonstration: existence of guts. Har Har Har."

	22-07-2001 02:06									#30
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quote: Originally posted by SMAC Fanatic On a completely unrelated subject: according to the dates on the official Firaxis website, Chairman Sheng-ji Yang is now two years old. Anyone else for finding him wherever he is and stomping on him quick? By the way, Zakharov is also five years old, and Morgan will be born in three years. That's odd...I always figured Lal was older than Morgan...

I had better go and find out how old Miriam is Don't worry if there's a news story that a wretched Finn strangled a redheaded girl of a religious family