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Maailmanmestari
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Finland - Arctic circle
Feb 2002
time: 07:17
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And btw, your forum clock suxor, it's 10minutes wrong.
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Jabu
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Finland
Feb 2002
time: 05:17
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That lot consisits mostly of small wood elves, who can disappear into the trees. That's why we have so many forests: they're to house our elite elf forces.
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-=Vagrant=-
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here and there
Feb 2002
time: 07:17
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Sisu=grit,guts and balls all at the same time.
[The average Finnish soldier knew in his bones, that on a man-to-man basis he was worth several of his adversaries. His ancestors, as far back as recorded Finnish history existed, had fought russians on this same soil and usually won. The Finn knew what he was fighting for and why. His stereotypical view of the Russian soldier was not flattering: Ivan was stupid, lazy, dirty, and incapable of initiative, and mentally opressed by the same forest environment that was second nature to the Finns. To be sure, the Finnish soldier was aware of the numerical odds against him, but he rendered those odds less terrible by crac´king jokes about them:"They are so many, and our country is so small, where will we find room to bury them all?"]
From a Frozen Hell the Russo-Finnish Winter War of 1939-40
by William R. Trotter
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grimwulf
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finland
Feb 2002
time: 07:17
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quote:
1- The Winter War. What the hell happened there? |
This information is classified.
quote:
2- Linux. Open-source coding meant that the entire structure of Western capitalism was under threat. Fortunately all that |
Was?
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3- Anyway, I've heard that Linus Torsvald smells of chisels. |
Extra Sensory Perception.
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4- When Tolkien wanted to create a people who were inhuman, pointy-eared and as camp as Butlins, whose language did he base their speech on? Yup- you guessed it. |
This is true. Guess who was the model for orcs? Not to mention the hobbits and so on..
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5- Mobile phones. Utterly dominated by those skulking trolls between Sweden and Russia. Their phones get smaller every day- ideal for those spindly elven fingers, but damning the rest of humanity to cordless communication serfdom. Do you think you're going to get away with it? |
No, we're going to get filthy rich.
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7- Rally driving is totally dominated by Finns. This is because Finland's national sport involves using high-powered 4-wheel drive cars to run over elks. The record is held by Hannu Mikkola |
Elks? I was thinking about swedes and russkies..
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8- Norway is famous for it's fjords. These are made by Finns who sneak across at night and steal bits of the coastline, taking it back to Finland to make small hills. At the current rate of theft, by 2500 AD Norway will be only 200 metres wide. |
And our largest mountain in Lappland will reach almost 2000 m. Whoa!
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9- Take a look at a map of Finland. Go on, take a look. Absolutely millions of lakes. That can't be right. |
Or we just have a good travelling agency that took lessons in propaganda from Goebbels.
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12- Santa Claus. Finland has been hailed as the home of Santa Claus since the 20th century. During that time, children's toys have displayed rising levels of dead spiders, razor blades and grit. |
We are so worried about overpopulating this planet.
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13- Finland's national dish is an elk scrotum fried in batter. |
Actually it is Mämmi. It looks like ****, but tastes good. (or was it the other way around?).
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14- The last Suomithreadi contained detailed instructions on how to make home-brewed Rohypnol, as well as an incantation for summoning Satan. |
We are trying to help you transcend the physical world and reach the level we finns are living in.
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15- Finns attract sharks. I have no figures to back this up. |
Sharks have evolved for a couple of hundred million years to the level, where the evolution has almost stopped. It seems natural, that their sense of taste has evolved to finns.
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16- Derby County FC. The reason for Georgi Kinkladze's recent poor form is that, in their last match agaist Liverpool, he was beaten to death with his own leg while the referee's back was turned. The culprit was Sami Hyppia. A Finn. |
Sami Hyypiä. And remember that he is the captain of the team.
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17- Where's ottok? What have you done with him? |
This information is classified.
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18- If all the world's Finns were laid end to end they'd cause a really nasty traffic jam. |
True.
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All times are GMT. The time now is 05:17.
Apolyton Time is 00:17. |
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14-02-2002 03:02
We are all so familiar with this particular event, but I thought that the few Finns in Apolyton were not enough to go Critical Mass and communicate our existance to others in the Motherland. Ottok gave me a scare or two, but thankfully we got through it. 
May I humbly suggest going after the Australians first?
)
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