14-02-2002 02:28									#1
	Worst. Song. Ever. Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

(I'd like to limit this to songs that have achieved even some modest success and playing. While I'm sure your band's drunken tapes back from when you first go together are horrible, they never achieved success.)

But why do I bother? Nothing. Nothing. NOTHING that you can ever suggest is even mildly comparable to this horrificness. "Seasons In The Sun"? "Muskrat Love"? Pikers! Pikers! You will curse my name in the dark for reminding you of this. You will. You surely will. There's no doubt this is the worst. song. ever. to achieve commercial success. Why, I have scant idea.

But anyways.

The name of the song.

Ready?

You can still stop reading. Don't blame yourself.

Jordy - Dur Dur D'être Un bébé.

What? Has your mind gracefully blocked this? Let me gently remind you.

Early 90s.

Little child, about 5 years old.

Dance beat.

Lyrics that go something like "Oeoeoeoei bääbä, iio iai bobebi" I guess they're French, although they could be some kind of Lovecraftian language of terror.

Coming back? Eh? It's all coming back? Isn't it? Huh? Uh? It is, isn't it?

And when you stop trying to scrub your brain clean with a rake, don't say I didn't warn you.

Nothing. NOTHING. NOTHING you offer can compare to that horrible little kid going "Oeoeoeoeoei bääbä, iio iai bobebi."

	14-02-2002 02:31									#2
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I have but three words for you, Stefu: "Will to Power"

They did a remake of Peter Frampton's "Baby I love your way" which has, has to rank up there with the worst PoS's ever put on vinyl.

And I do remember that Bebe song, which does stink to high heaven, but I gotta give the kid a pass - he's only 5 and had no idea just how much he was being mercilessly exploited. Will to Power did their crap purposefully.

	14-02-2002 02:33									#3
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that dancing queen song by abba

Jon Miller

	14-02-2002 02:35									#4
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Stefu, i actually started looking for that one in audiogalaxy. I liked it back then, but then again i hate everything i liked then.

My favourite in this category would have to be david hasselhoff: I've been looking for freedom. Though that's also the best ever .
It made it in Germany i think. I want to get my hands on davids german version.


i've been looking for freedom.. i've been looking so long..

	14-02-2002 02:36									#5
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quote: Originally posted by Jon Miller that dancing queen song by abba

Actually, any song by Abba is a contender in this contest.

	14-02-2002 02:38									#6
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quote: Originally posted by Zopperoni Actually, any song by Abba is a contender in this contest.

fortunately I know no other songs by abba

Jon Miller

	14-02-2002 02:48									#7
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Hey, don´t dis ABBA. They rock! *feels a trifle nationalistic*

But the worst song ever must be "Living next door to Alice" by Smokie. Why? Cause it´s played everywhere by every two-bit busker, and every drunken bozo is singing along and is happy as hell. It feels like an episode of Twilight Zone

	14-02-2002 03:04									#8
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"Yummy Yummy Yummy I have love in my Tummy"

They don't get any worse than this!

	14-02-2002 03:06									#9
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That Yummy Yummy Yummy song is wholly unsanitary.

This reminds me...
My mom's a big fan of the Oldies. She was listening to Rainbow Ride on the radio (you know, "I ain't takin' no rainbow ride!") and my brother convinced her it was about gay sex. She now can't listen to the song like she used to...

	14-02-2002 03:06									#10
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Hey, I remember that song from Jordy!
I think it's unfair to consider it the worst song ever! At least it had a nice beat!
Of course, my oppinion is based from what I remember my taste was at the time that music was released. And I was basically a kid!

Hey, don't pick on ABBA! I love their music!

	14-02-2002 03:12									#11
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AGADOO-DOO-DOO!

	14-02-2002 03:13									#12
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Oh, please...

Who can listen to "Alone Again, Naturally" and not walk away planning a murder-suicide?

	14-02-2002 03:14									#13
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I dont know if its the name of the song, but the Pet Shop boys did a song which goes "New York City Boy". It doesnt irritate me so much as make me laugh because it sounds so gay.

	14-02-2002 03:16									#14
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Cali, the Pet Shop Boys are renowned for being straight. Honest

	14-02-2002 03:18									#15
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quote: Originally posted by Sagacious Dolphin Cali, the Pet Shop Boys are renowned for being straight. Honest

Well they are the most homosexual sounding straight guys ever if thats the case...

	14-02-2002 03:19									#16
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I used to listen to a local radio channel. But it started to slowly get full of a song by Cher... something about a song being for the lonely... Maybe not the worst I've ever heard, but I swear to God, should it be played from my new favorite channel, I will sit in a hive full of pissed off soldier ants.

	14-02-2002 03:19									#17
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I think that Brotherhood Of Man and 'Save All Your Kisses For Me' is bloody awful, although I suppose most eurovision numbers tend to be crap anyway.

	14-02-2002 03:20									#18
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Thanks Stefu!

Puppussii puppussaa puppussikussii, puppussii puppussaa puppussikkunsaa!

Oeeeäöä bääbä!

(Iä! Shub-Niggurath!)

	14-02-2002 03:25									#19
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quote: Originally posted by The Mad Monk Oh, please... Who can listen to "Alone Again, Naturally" and not walk away planning a murder-suicide?

You know, the tragedy is that for some unknowable reason I actually know the lyrics.

	14-02-2002 03:40									#20
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WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO

	14-02-2002 04:35									#21
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I vaguely recall a song/video by a couple of retards about "not eating the daisies".

	14-02-2002 04:38									#22
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Thanks to the countless 70's nostalgia programs aired by the BBC, I have been subjected many times to a song whose name I forget, performed by a man dressed like a well-to-do tramp, consisting mainly of the lyrics "shut-uppa your face".

	14-02-2002 04:45									#23
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quote: Originally posted by Caligastia I dont know if its the name of the song, but the Pet Shop boys did a song which goes "New York City Boy". It doesnt irritate me so much as make me laugh because it sounds so gay.

Well, duh! Does the words "Gay disco" mean anything to you?

	14-02-2002 04:57									#24
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I hate any kinds of too-sweet-ballads like Michael Bolton and co.

	14-02-2002 04:58									#25
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"Maneater" by Hall and Oates.
No contest.
Although, just about all mid to late 80's pop is up there.

	14-02-2002 05:19									#26
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quote: Originally posted by JohnT I have but three words for you, Stefu: "Will to Power" They did a remake of Peter Frampton's "Baby I love your way" which has, has to rank up there with the worst PoS's ever put on vinyl.

Will to power is low-class romantic tacky. In other words not TOO bad

And dancing queen and anything else from ABBA and Sweden is of course good.

I've just discovered India.Arie. I've only heard her song "Video" which I like. It's acoustic soul. Her lyrics are meaningful and the melody is mellow. The refrain is nice.

I also like bluegrass. The song performed by George Clooney in "Oh brother where art tho" is really pleasing to the ear.

I'm now watching Bouncing Back by Mystical. Cool.

This link LAUNCH - Your Yahoo! Music Experience is the best site for music videos, internet radio, artis photos, music info.

If you can manage 300K speed those videos look really good.

	14-02-2002 05:32									#27
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From what I recall there has only been one song that made me turn of the radio when played. It was the group (or was it just one person?) called Oasis. From what I know that was their first song (and the only one of their songs I have ever heard), but I can't remember the title. The socalled "music" was just so 70'es (And I'm from the 80'es, so that is outdated to me)!

	14-02-2002 05:34									#28
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Kitty by presidents of the united states of america.

here are the lyrics. and yes I have heard this song on the radio before.

"Kitty"

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow

Meow, meow
Meow, meow

Little bag of bones been out all night
Little bag of bones been out all night
Can you hear him, scratchin' at the screen door
Can you hear him, scratchin' at the screen door
Little bag of bones been out all night

He needs some pettin' and lovin' on his head
He needs some pettin' and lovin' on his rain-soaked hide
He's circlin' around my ankle
He's circlin' around my ankle
He needs some pettin' and lovin' on his hide
Hey Kitty won't you come inside

Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it

Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I want to touch it

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow

Meow, meow
Meow, meow

Pu$$y purrin' and lookin' so satisfied
Pu$$y purrin' and lookin' so satisfied
I'm Lost in his little yellow round eye
Lost in his yellow round eye
Pu$$y purrin' and lookin' so satisfied

Kitty rear up and scratch me through my jeans
Kitty rear up and scratch me through my jeans
F*ck you, Kitty you're gonna to spend the night
F*ck you, Kitty you're gonna to spend the night
F*ck you, Kitty you're gonna to spend the night outside

Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it

Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it
Kitty at my foot and I want to touch it

Touch it, I want to touch it
I wanna touch it, I wanna touch it
I wanna touch it, wanna touch it
I wanna touch it

Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty touch it
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty touch it
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty touch it
Kitty at my foot and I want to touch it


edit: I had to insert the curse words to make it obvious what they were singing.

Last edited by Dis on 14-02-2002 at 05:41

	14-02-2002 07:35									#29
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quote: Originally posted by ADG From what I recall there has only been one song that made me turn of the radio when played. It was the group (or was it just one person?) called Oasis. From what I know that was their first song (and the only one of their songs I have ever heard), but I can't remember the title. The socalled "music" was just so 70'es (And I'm from the 80'es, so that is outdated to me)!

Oasis, Blur and other crap from England. Liam Gallagher etc - do those jellyfish have any spine at all? A lot of stupid spoilt brat behavior and senseless lyrics. These ppl think they're talented in the same way americans appreciate the hanson brothers

	14-02-2002 07:41									#30
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the funny thing is when it comes to classic rock, I mostly listen to British stuff. They were far superior in that category. They put out some amazing music.

But it seems most British stuff now days is punk or some derivitive of punk. How many songs can you make based off of simple riffs? Some of the British bands in the 70's had amazing diversity. I just don't see that now.