17-03-2002 23:54									#1
	Are Customers Trained In Stupidity? Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

-or the lonely lament of the till worker.

Some people are so stupid.

• Yes, that sign indicating that we cannot by law sell anything until 10:30 actually means that we cannot sell anything until 10:30. This includes if your children are crying for their clematus and dahlias, and I don't care how long you've been waiting.
  
• And no, I don't want your credit card before I've run everything through the till. That can wait.
  
• Yes, your clubcard is a different matter, you have to give me that before I've given you your change and wished you a good day. It has to be put through with the sale, or it won't work, as clearly explained on this big bold sign in front of the till...
  
• Being narky isn't going to win me your sympathy.
  
• I realise you've been queueing for a few minutes, but in that space of time, I've served eight other customers: you've got it easy pal.
  
• So let me get this straight, you pick up the one item with no price label or barcode on it, then come to till and complain bitterly that you have to wait a few minutes while we find out what the damn thing is meant to cost?
  
• We would discount that damaged item for you, but there are 20 flawless others over there...
  
• We would discount that damaged item for you, but we saw you ram your trolley into it a minute ago...
  
• We would refund that 'incorrect purchase', but its a Christmas decoration, and today is January 8th.
  
• I can see you have a £5 note there to make your £3.99 purchase, please for the love of God don't give me that £20... Oh, ok, if you want to then, don't whatever you do make my life easy.
  
• No sir, don't give the pen back to me - Its on a string. If you give it to me, all I'll do is put it down right in front of you again. Do you really need me to do this for you?
  
• You take that basket outside and you're a dead man/woman.
  
• and the final insult... Three types of trolley, Types A, B and C, each in their own stacked line. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE TROLLEY A IN THE TROLLEY B QUEUE. IT BUGGERS UP THE WHOLE SYSTEM. THE CARPARK IS NOT A GIANT TROLLEY PARK - USE THE AREAS MARKED 'TROLLEYS'.
  

So how has your day been?

	17-03-2002 23:58									#2
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

You shouldn't drink so much coffee before going to work

	18-03-2002 00:01									#3
	Inflate your Upload Space

I don't drink coffee.
Maybe that's the problem

	18-03-2002 00:02									#4
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

Hmmmm... maybe it is.

But as somebody else here posted somewhere... half the people you deal with have an IQ in double digits

	18-03-2002 01:06									#5
	Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

Sounds like the other half have IQs in single figures

Last edited by C0ckney on 18-03-2002 at 01:47

	18-03-2002 01:25									#6
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i only complain if u give me too little change....

i'll take a little (lot) extra any day

	18-03-2002 02:00									#7
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

I worked for 3 years at a Best Buy, left as a supervisor (lower mgmt), and I can confirm everything IW says

Of course, we went a step further and profiled customers by gender, race, and economic status for kicks - and our profiles were generally correct.

	18-03-2002 04:49									#8
	Re: Are Customers Trained In Stupidity? Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

yeah, we have to take classes in shopping stupidity before we're allowed to make any significant purchase. it turns out to be about 14 hours of night classes a week for 6 months, and you usually want to take the extra classes (another 5 hrs a week for 6 months) if you want to be a Certified Idiot.

	18-03-2002 04:53									#9
	Full PM-box? Change here!

Yeah? Hmmm....I thought you people were just birn that way

	18-03-2002 04:56									#10
	Inflate your Upload Space

When I worked in a bakery I had people come up and interrupt me and ask me where the bread is.

To their left, bread.
To their right, bread.


There's also people who come in and complain about stale bread they bought about a week earlier, even though the expiry date clearly mentions it expired days earlier.

I can go on for hours.

	18-03-2002 18:01									#11
	Remove this text

quote: Originally posted by Ming But as somebody else here posted somewhere... half the people you deal with have an IQ in double digits

I feel sorry for people sometimes.

	18-03-2002 18:29									#12
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A typical day, trying to get a badly needed cup of coffee 5 minutes before my lecture starts. In front of me there's about half a dozen persons. There's always at least one type that drives me mad (this 'type' is usually a woman 30+ years old but not always). The person in question is about to buy coffee/the and some sort of snack/bread with a total price of around 30 SEK (maybe $3 or less than £2 p50). How is this person going to pay for this purchase? Well, a credit card of cource!! Is this person getting ready and picking up the card while in line instead of looking out in the air with his/her empty, cow-like, eyes? No of course not, (s)he's got the card in his/her card in the wallet a the bottom of a purse etc and starts to look after it when he/she are told what to pay.

In short, these kinds of persons conducts a purchase of a ham-sandwich and a cup of the the same way I would cunduct myself if I bought a new car.

The worst think is that they often move around in large groups and makes my purchase of a 5 SEK (50 cents or 35p) cup of coffee into a nightmare.

	18-03-2002 18:39									#13
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

Yep, see that kind of thing in supermarkets all the time - paying for £2 or £3 purchases with a credit card.

Even worse, they'll pay by Switch and ask for cash back.

	18-03-2002 18:40									#14
	Tired of ads?

I once worked at the check-in for a cruise ship, and to add to your list:

* No, don´t try to speed up the queue by actually placing your ticket in your hand. Instead, wait impatiently in the line for 10 minutes, and when you finally reach the check-in counter, don´t remember in which pocket you have your ticket.

* Me: "You have booked 4 persons".
Customer: "Yes".
Me: "What about the child? Doesn´t that make you 5?"
Customer: "I though he didn´t count!"
Me: "He is a person, is he not?"
Customer: "Well, yes, but..."

* Never read your ticket to double-check what you have booked.
Me: "This was booked for yesterday."
Customer: "What???"
Me: "This ticket says 14.3. Today is 15.3"
Customer: "Why would I ever want to go on a Thursday? I obviously meant Friday!"
Me: "Well, we aren´t mind readers"

* No, the ship won´t come back for you when you arrive too late.

And one classic:

Elderly customer: "Have we left already?"
Me: "Well, if you would first be so kind to board the ship it could actually leave today."

	18-03-2002 19:15									#15
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

ahhh

did any of them come from the Willamette Valley Customer training center

a steve perhaps

or a paul

those were some of my favorites, I knew they were going places

you have to have that much stupidity ingrained

the center was part of a world wide network, so you might be seeing the results of our affilitates

well, nice to see that theings are going well

Jon Miller

	19-03-2002 00:00									#16
	Inflate your Upload Space

I remember the days of working at a till. I worked at a place where nobody bought anything, but insteads all the pikies sholplifted it. Added to that I was only paid £3/hr so my desire to confront shoplifting gypsies was low. Then again, what do you expect from a place called "Poundstretcher".

quote: Originally posted by Boddington's Yep, see that kind of thing in supermarkets all the time - paying for £2 or £3 purchases with a credit card. Even worse, they'll pay by Switch and ask for cash back.

What's wrong with asking for cashback on small debit payments, its a whole lot easier to do that than going to a cashpoint and then the store?

	19-03-2002 01:10									#17
	Tired of ads?

Just yesterday I've read one training lesson. On a box of frozen steaks.
Tiefgefrostete Frischequalität.
(Deep frozen quality of freshness.)
What is a quality of freshness? How to freeze it???

This is not the only example where I read a complete nonsense in an advertising text. Stupid customers are the best. They don't ask if they really need something. They happily leave you most of their money. Live with it and have a smile.

quote: Then again, what do you expect from a place called "Poundstretcher".

A factory of thin metal wires. (Papermill for the Scottish)

	19-03-2002 01:20									#18
	Get a bigger avatar today!

I'm usually dumped in the "ten items or less" till, and I'm lucky if half the customers obey it... bah!

Most hated customer was a women who wrote her check out with her own pen, then took mine and put it in her bag. I said everything short of "Can you please open your bag, take my pen out and give it back to me?", but she didn't take the hint.

	19-03-2002 02:08									#19
	Increase Your PM Length

Some customers that I love (love to hit with a truck that is) :

- the lady that comes in every five months to see if we're selling "long" turtlenecks, despite the fact that we've only offered the sizes small through double extra large since the beginning of time.

-the man that swore at me because we forgot to take off a security ink tag from the jacket he bought. He bought said jacket during the Christmas rush, when we had a line stretching from the till to the back of the store and then doubling in on itself and ending at the front of the store. Instead of returning at a later date to get the tag removed, he attempts to remove it himself. Thereby ruining his new $150 jacket.

-the old ladies that insist on folding the clothes back themselves. There are never able to fold them correctly.. This leads to the fun end-of-day game in which we have to search the store for the improperly folded items.

-people that try on six outfits and then buy nothing. Even better, they keep coming back to the store every twenty minutes to try on something else and still manage to leave with nothing.

-and a new favourite. The lady that cheerfully said she'd call back every weekend until we got an item she wanted in. I'm not sure what part of "I'm sorry ma'am, but I don't think we'll be recieving that item this season" she managed to hear as "Please, call as often as you like. Your persistance will cause the entire chain of supply, nay, the entire fabric of reality to alter so you can get your t-shirt"

	19-03-2002 03:14									#20
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

quote: Originally posted by Gibsie I'm usually dumped in the "ten items or less" till, and I'm lucky if half the customers obey it... bah!

The "express line" in supermarkets tends to be one of the slowest queues...

	19-03-2002 03:40									#21
	Increase the size of your Attachments

quote: Most hated customer was a women who wrote her check out with her own pen, then took mine and put it in her bag. I said everything short of "Can you please open your bag, take my pen out and give it back to me?", but she didn't take the hint.

Sorry, I usually refuse to suspect malice in the actions of people. But I've got lots of experience with people doing something by accident (mainly myself). I'm quite sure she would have understood you if she didn't really want to steal your pen. (Or was there any reason to believe that it is an advertising gift?)

	19-03-2002 03:50									#22
	Inflate your Upload Space

quote: Then again, what do you expect from a place called "Poundstretcher".

You worked at poundstretcher?!





Mind you I can hardly talk, I worked at McDonalds and at a Petrol Station next to Parole Estate.

....Which is where a degree in Politics/Psychology can take you.

	19-03-2002 03:55									#23
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

quote: Originally posted by Boddington's The "express line" in supermarkets tends to be one of the slowest queues...

Not at Sainsbury's, Cambridge - where the "baskets only" till usually has at least 3, sometimes 5 people working it. And no-one seems to realise that this effectively reduces the length of the cue to one third or fifth or whatever. Almost always a good bet.

	19-03-2002 03:56									#24
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

EDIT: x-post...

That is an exception though surely...

	19-03-2002 04:07									#25
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

The worst thing was definately taking lottery ticket money from the poor and old.



Me: "Okaayy, one loaf of bread...and 12 lottery tickets, £12.50"

Customer: "Do you take Giro cheques?"

Or when people with faeces stained hands would give you faeces stained bank notes --- then the people behind that sigh when you have to go wash your hands instead of serving them faeces stained notes.

	19-03-2002 04:14									#26
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

quote: Originally posted by Evil Knevil would give you faeces stained bank notes

Wow, never been so desperately in need of bog paper that my wallet's contents was the only answer.

	19-03-2002 04:17									#27
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Which reminds me to start a little experiment....

(no it doesn't involve **** on toilet paper )

	19-03-2002 04:24									#28
	Inflate your Upload Space

I think these people were just coated in ****. Or maybe unable to look after themselves, through poorness and stupidity.

[Homer Simpson voice]

mmmm...Eugenics...

[/Homer Simpson voice]

	19-03-2002 04:53									#29
	Support Apolyton

I don't think customers are stupid. I think they just don't want to have to think too much when shopping. I certainly don't.

	19-03-2002 05:07									#30
	Increase the size of your Attachments

The closest I have ever come to killing someone was when working at Burger King.

I was stressed, overworked (there were 2 active workers currently there at lunch time including me), so I'm rushing around and I drop a tray.

It breaks into many pieces with a loud clash. Everyone stops and looks over at me.

So this elderly lady says "looks like you're having a smashing time".

...

It took all my willpower to not pick up a shard of borken tray and jam it through her neck.