10-04-2002 08:48									#1
	Women/Girls: The Vicious Half Increase the size of your Attachments

http://www.msnbc.com/news/735674.asp?0dm=V21CV#BODY

i saw this on tv tonight and realized it was very much true, and not just among girls but i've noted cases in their 20's, 30's, and even up into the forties where silent bullying is used. Perhaps many of you poly people won't understand....let me clue you in a bit....
This happens for so many years to a person, they tend to snap..years of being blacklisted or snubbed because the "in-crowd" hates you and someother female has a psychotic beef with you.

THroughout elementary school i experienced it, but still maintained enough of a friend base that it hadn't quite sunk it. Girls using the war of words though. Spreading rumors, ganging up on you, trying to ruin a social reputation before it has really even begun at the age of 8. Back then, i remember participating in it...just so my current group would like me. We would fill up our lunch table quickly so that Stephanie with the fat stomach and bulging arse and poor sanitary habits wouldn't try and sit with us. I'd watch others snicker at her.
You get into a new beast in Junior high. From that point until my senior year of high school i never had a solid group of friends. INstead, i went from being a mediocre nerd with at least a medium circle to an absolute no one. almostover night all my friends found new circles and cliques to fit in with according to their athletic abilities or newly appointed social class. but i didn't get one. I was the odd girl. I was smarter than the rest. NOt pretty as the rest and about as clumsy as a donkey. I ate lunch alone. I got the spit balls thrown in my hair (ok..well..that was the guys)...back to the girls...
I remember the one time i thought i might have friend..my sophomore year in high school....for a short while..but the second i began "going out with"(i.e. kissing on the band bus) someone they dissapproved of (and refused to break up with him at their orders) i was snubbed....the circle closed...target of hallways snickering and hate notes stuck in the locker.
ANd like the article says..it all goes on "under the radar" because girls are supposed to be happy and sun shine all the time. I've experienced the female gang methods to some degree (although by far, to a much smaller degree and rate) since high school...
I'd like to know if men have a similar "under the radar" bullying or if you always use your fists? Have you had an emotional bully?
and ladies of poly??? what of your experiences?

	10-04-2002 08:50									#2
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We just beat the crap out of each other for a few years until we grow out of it (I'll let you know when it happens for me).

	10-04-2002 08:51									#3
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quote: Originally posted by KrazyHorse We just beat the crap out of each other for a few years until we grow out of it (I'll let you know when it happens for me).

well it is always fun to play games like football and beat the crap out of eachother in games like that

Jon Miller

	10-04-2002 08:51									#4
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Does this have anything to do with LR's aborted thread?

	10-04-2002 08:52									#5
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quote: Originally posted by DinoDoc Does this have anything to do with LR's aborted thread?

no clue

I didn't read it

and I think my post was deleted

Jon Miller

	10-04-2002 08:55									#6
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dino: i didn't read that till AFTER i posted this. I watched this over an hour ago and it brought back so many memories that...i posted about it. believe it or not..it's a very big issue.

	10-04-2002 10:08									#7
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Its much less subtle with guys, but yeah, the same basic thing happens. . .

	10-04-2002 10:11									#8
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I don't think guys do the total ostracism bit.

We do have our cliques. It would have been ridiculous for me to try and hang around with the jocks, or the student body officers, or with the hoods. I was "a brain"--but we had our own group.

Plus, guys are expected to play team sports (baseball, football) while girls are expected to play games requiring fewer people (jump rope, jacks, hop scotch). Thus, we boys are placed in situtation where we all have to all participate.

	10-04-2002 10:22									#9
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When you're young you're bound to go thru a lot of great times and a lot of tough times, but that is probably neccessary for your survival in the future, evolution will sort you out.


5-12yrs of age, I was dennis the menace, from 12-21, I was quiet and kept to myself. But now, I use the best qualities from both and use the bad parts to understand and help others in tough times.


Females are too attached to society, they need to have much time away from people. Many grown women have such a horrible immature behaviour, seems like they still use the same emotions as they did when they were 6. That reminds me, I hate soap operas !!!Emotional Game Crap!!!

	10-04-2002 10:40									#10
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i think that Glenn CLose movie "fatal attraction" might be a more bizarre form..
you gotta wonder if that happened irl, if the glenn close character had been snubbed by women as a kid so she stole and fixated on their bfs.

	10-04-2002 10:46									#11
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quote: Originally posted by Sn00py That reminds me, I hate soap operas

Hmmm, then I probably shouldn't tell you that I'm pregnant with Devilmunchkin's love child. I would have said something earlier, but I had amnesia because of that drug overdose which I got when MtG poisoned me because of the affair he thought I was having with LTEC. But it was all a dreadful mistake, dating back to that vacation in Mingapulco when I was stuffed into a pinada by a gang of raging one-legged matadors. But for some reason, he believes my story is too far fetched to have actually happened.

	10-04-2002 10:50									#12
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dem weren't MY sperm.......i wonder if you crawled into my bed and thought LR was me...must be... oh boy, zkribbler...do you want me to break the news to him or do you???

another soap opera: wrestling...the soap opera for men.

so, for the most part...the mind games and what not don't exist with males. i guess you are lucky in that respect. not a fun world to be forced into.

	10-04-2002 14:39									#13
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Girls love a rift.

I went back a few months ago to a mate's floor after we'd all had a fair amount to drink.

Well, we were talking to a couple of girls of my friend's floor for a while, but after a while they went to bed and we stayed in the kitchen.

We carried on drinking cheap cider...in the end a couple of things got broken (just cheap glasses and a flowerpot).

A few of us went back and apologised to the floor and all the guys there are totally fine with us. Now, months later, the girls still give us dirty looks whenever we see them.

Sure guys fights can be worse at the point of starting, but usually everyone's mates again a few days later.

	10-04-2002 19:58									#14
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Yeah you are right it's better, guys generally blow up at each other and clear the air then go back to being friends a bit later.

	10-04-2002 20:50									#15
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This might pique your interest as a read.

Dave

	11-04-2002 00:45									#16
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detroit: what's odder is when they backstab you, thinking you're a threat...but you're only a threat in THEY're minds. Men don't do this (unless it's to rat out cops i guess). I know several females on my stepdad's side of the family that always have to have some saga going. Do you think modern day soap opears that women grow up watching have anything to do with this?

	11-04-2002 00:59									#17
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quote: Originally posted by devilmunchkin detroit: what's odder is when they backstab you, thinking you're a threat...but you're only a threat in THEY're minds. Men don't do this (unless it's to rat out cops i guess). I know several females on my stepdad's side of the family that always have to have some saga going. Do you think modern day soap opears that women grow up watching have anything to do with this?

I think women are just more into the "social game" then men are.

In my experience, women tend to worry alot more about how others view or think of them, who people's friends and enemies are, and how they all fit into the social ladder.

	11-04-2002 03:11									#18
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Perhaps. Men are eminently more practical than women; if we can't eat it, drink it or **** it, it ain't worth **** to us.

	11-04-2002 08:33									#19
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yes but can you hold lie long grudges and spend whole lifetimes trying to make another miserable ...
women do that alot

	11-04-2002 11:20									#20
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quote: Originally posted by devilmunchkin the mind games and what not don't exist with males. >mind gmsndwht nt don't exist with males< >>mindgmswnt don't exist with males<< >>>minds don't exist with males<<<

uh oh. i think she's figured out our secret

	11-04-2002 21:02									#21
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We haven't got mental energy to spare scheming against other men, it's all directed into trying to get girls to have sex with us.

	11-04-2002 23:18									#22
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DM..women are way more vicious than men..they also take what others say to them to heart..at least some do. This is the way of the world dear..there will always be mean nasty people...The backstabbing thing I wouldn't know about..I have never back stabbed a friend. that is my problem I am way to honest to my friends..I will say what I have to say to their faces before I go and blab it to anybody else...and if I do say anything to anyone else about a friend They will hear it from me first. I have been backstabbed way to many times by friends to TRUST anybody (even my closest friend) WITH SECRET MATTERS IN MY LIFE!!!!

So yes DM..some women are "GLEN CLOSE"Material..me in matters of anger.. I am more like a man.. I BLOW UP..I say what I have to say...and I forgive and move on...and like a man if you egg me on and push me hard enough I will NOT BACK DOWN, but go POSTALon your ARSE!!!!!
In my mind Dm I am 50 feet tall...some people say it's the Mexican in me..


*well you know* ohhhhh...I did hold a 2 year grudge once...but I am to soft in the heart for people who need me!

	11-04-2002 23:39									#23
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On a related note, I've found that men generally make better friends than women. Every female friend I've ever had has always tried to play stupid drama games, and the several of them have also turned out to be liars. I've never had a male friend who tried to play stupid drama games, nor have I had a male friend who was a liar. Whenever I've stopped being friends with a male it's because our interests have diverged, and we're always still on friendly terms. Whenever I've stopped being friends with a female it's because they've been untrustworthy, and only rarely are we still on cordial terms afterwards.

The biggest reason for this discrepancy is probably because I'm a good judge of character in men and a poor judge of character in women. Regardless, the discrepancy is there.

	11-04-2002 23:47									#24
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Same here, I find the best malefriends..but the worst female friends.

Yeah and I always lose my male friends because they want more than friendship from me....Do men always have an alterior motive when becoming friends with a female? ANyways..don't mean to stray from the topic...that was a question that haunts my mind quite often...

	11-04-2002 23:49									#25
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quote: Originally posted by Blackwidow24 Do men always have an alterior motive when becoming friends with a female?

Not always, but most probably wouldn't complain if the subject came up...

	11-04-2002 23:51									#26
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Ahhhh thanks.... I knew it!

	12-04-2002 04:06									#27
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All my best friends are female and I've quite openly told all of them that I'd like to fvck them and they've quite openly told me no chance. It's a healthy arrangement. Girls are a lot easier to talk to about emotional stuff and I need to talk about that a lot. Once you establish the sex boundaries it's fine. It makes life easier the next morning after those times when you get drunk and end up sh@gging them anyway as well.

	12-04-2002 04:23									#28
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quote: Originally posted by MikeH All my best friends are female and I've quite openly told all of them that I'd like to fvck them and they've quite openly told me no chance. It's a healthy arrangement. Girls are a lot easier to talk to about emotional stuff and I need to talk about that a lot. Once you establish the sex boundaries it's fine. It makes life easier the next morning after those times when you get drunk and end up sh@gging them anyway as well.

I know exactly what you mean.



I have a great female friend, a good one, and one I'm not quite sure about. I also have 3 main guy friends. I like a balance.



I am lucky to be in a school, (actually, really only my grade) where that sort of thing doesn't happen. The smart kids aren't shunned, and there are a few jerkish guys, but everyone hates them.


BW, the ulterior motive is often there, but not the main reason.

	12-04-2002 04:48									#29
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If I so much as speak to another girl, my girlfriend will whack me with her umbrella. Thankfully, I do not speak to other girls much

	12-04-2002 06:13									#30
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I know what you mean - my sister (in grade 7, 13 y.o.), not in my opinion a particularly vicious persion, stopped talking to her best friend at all, and denouncing her in front of her (more popular) friends and her family (i.e. me). And I can certainly see this happen in my school (though I like to think that the girls in my school are at least somewhat less mean).

And with men/women as friends, the movie "when Harry met Sally" pretty much covers it.