18-06-2002 23:54									#32
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quote: Originally posted by Tiamat Yup it certainly did! I was trying to think of ways to put it off like eating slower or if I went to the bathroom and stuffed toliet paper on my bum that I could cushion the blow. Never worked, my dad always saw through it.

If spankings are supposed to be done they're supposed to be immediate, not hours later. It's a psychology thing. They're far less effective hours later.

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Once or twice, mostly my family works on the "you're grounded" or "no TV for a month" type approaches.

	19-06-2002 00:14									#33
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quote: Originally posted by Caligastia how did they punish you then?

No need, I was such a sweet and lovely child...

My mother used to chase me and my brother with a carpet beater when she was mad at us... She always let us make it to our rooms and lock our doors and then we'd hear the carpet beater strike the door... "Phew! Just missed us!"

We had a thrilled smile on our faces when we ran; we never knew she always let us off the hook and probably got us exactly where she wanted: locked up in our rooms!

Carolus

	19-06-2002 00:15									#34
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You must have been little angels...

	19-06-2002 00:25									#35
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quote: how did they punish you then?

Usually they'd send me to my room. I hated the look and sound of disapproval from either parent, and it usually discouraged me from misbehaving badly enough to warrant more serious punishment. I was an only child (sort of, I have 1/2 bros & sisters), so no siblings to fight with. That helped, I'm sure. Plus, my parents are very patient people, which I really do admire.

-Arrian

	19-06-2002 00:37									#36
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quote: Originally posted by Caligastia Its funny how the same word can mean different things in different english-speaking countries. For example "fanny" is your backside in the US, but in NZ its a crude way of referring to the female private parts. Can you imagine what people in NZ would think if they heard an american mother say to her misbehaving little girl "If you dont stop misbehaving your father will take care of your fanny when we get home!"

Actually fanny means that in most places where the term exists which aren't in North America.

Has anyone noticed Australian kids seem to swear one hell of a lot more than kids from anywhere else? I mean like six year olds here, not just teenagers.

My friend tells the story of when his Australian cousins came over for a visit and demanded to play "Arsehole" which was basically snap except.... well, you understand.

	19-06-2002 00:39									#37
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Australians are well known for swearing.

	19-06-2002 00:40									#38
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quote: Originally posted by Kropotkin Once or twice as a form of "capital punishment". Don't think it's a good way of dealing with children in general. It's also against the law here.

You don't have to use capital punishment more than once Kropotkin. The whole point of capital punishment is that ity leaves the punished one quite dead!

Were you thinking about "corporal" punishment by any chance?

	19-06-2002 00:47									#39
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Imagine that - a kid throws a tantrum and you execute him for it. No wonder that's illegal where you are, it's called murder.

	19-06-2002 00:48									#40
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quote: Originally posted by Dr Strangelove You don't have to use capital punishment more than once Kropotkin. The whole point of capital punishment is that ity leaves the punished one quite dead! Were you thinking about "corporal" punishment by any chance?

No, hes Jesus.

	19-06-2002 00:48									#41
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My Dad usually preferred using a doubled-up belt for lashings, and would have us lower our pants for full effect. Crying during punishment was not permitted, and would earn further lashes until the crying ceased. I remember some of the punishment sessions when I was very small lasting for quite a long time because I found it difficult to take the punishment in silence. Mom generally used either a hair brush, a wooden paddle or her hand.

	19-06-2002 00:51									#42
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Never. I was always smart enough to reason with those silly baboons called 'parents'.

Seriously , my parents , from the very beginning went for the adult reasoning technique. I think it went great. They always have explained to me why I shouldn't do a certain thing. And if I did it and I got hurt in some way in the process, They'd simply say : 'see? told you so! now you know we're always right' . after a number of broken glasses , and a few scratches, I was as obedient as a puppy.

	19-06-2002 00:52									#43
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quote: Originally posted by Dr Strangelove You don't have to use capital punishment more than once Kropotkin. The whole point of capital punishment is that ity leaves the punished one quite dead!

Is it so damn hard to understand that "..." means that it's not to be taken litterary.

	19-06-2002 00:56									#44
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quote: Originally posted by Dr Strangelove My Dad usually preferred using a doubled-up belt for lashings, and would have us lower our pants for full effect. Crying during punishment was not permitted, and would earn further lashes until the crying ceased. I remember some of the punishment sessions when I was very small lasting for quite a long time because I found it difficult to take the punishment in silence.

Holy ****! That's not 'discipline' that's ****ing torture. If you cried you got hit more?!?!?! What kind of monster could do that to a child? You hit it once or even a few times just so it knows "This isn't the right way to behave. Respect your parents etc" till it's old enough to be properly reasoned with.

But... hitting the poor wretch if it cries? That's inhuman!

	19-06-2002 00:59									#45
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That, Faboba, was my reaction too. Strangelove, dude, tell me you're exaggerating or something, please.

-Arrian

	19-06-2002 01:00									#46
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quote: Originally posted by Dalgetti Never. I was always smart enough to reason with those silly baboons called 'parents'. Seriously , my parents , from the very beginning went for the adult reasoning technique. I think it went great. They always have explained to me why I shouldn't do a certain thing. And if I did it and I got hurt in some way in the process, They'd simply say : 'see? told you so! now you know we're always right' . after a number of broken glasses , and a few scratches, I was as obedient as a puppy.

Hmmm... maybe you were especially precoucious but most of the young children I've encountered in my time are too bloody-minded to be reasoned with. Until the age of eight it's usually difficult to properly get through, almost certainly six.

That's why I don't like all this 'no spanking' crap at the moment. It's what breeds those insolent pieces of filth who appear on chat shows sub-titled 'Ricky - my 16 year old is a crack whore'

If I didn't show the proper respect to my parents I'd expect to get hit - even if it's just a clip round the ear. There's a difference between being playfully cheeky and being rude and insolent.

	19-06-2002 01:11									#47
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I am sure that at first I wasn't . and did lots of bad stuff that hurt me, and made me cry. The Folks did the 'told you so' routine., for several times, and then I saw that they were right , and obeyed them.

	19-06-2002 01:15									#48
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I was, but not frequently.

On sibling rivalry: I have had quite afew fights with my brother, but the onlyitme I seriously injured him was by accident, when I fell on his arm and broke it .

	19-06-2002 01:23									#49
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quote: Originally posted by Dalgetti I am sure that at first I wasn't . and did lots of bad stuff that hurt me, and made me cry. The Folks did the 'told you so' routine., for several times, and then I saw that they were right , and obeyed them.

So when did they tell you to become a communist?

	19-06-2002 01:32									#50
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He's not a Communist; he's just a Zionist infiltrator.

	19-06-2002 01:34									#51
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well , I was BORN in the soviet union. I never went to school there, so I wasn't "brainwashed".

	19-06-2002 01:35									#52
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My impression of the child-raising issue is that parents seem to make many stupid decisions. I'm not an expert as I've only seen one side of the parents-child intrecation first hand (as a child ). They seem to let them away with small things until it reaches a level until violence often is the fastest and simplest solution. As I grew up (almost) without spanking etc there must be a relatively "easy" way to do this. I hardly think I was special from the start.

It would seem important to put your foot down early in some way and be consistent. A typical example is children crying for candy in stores until the parents give in. It's a typical way of telling the kids that a no isn't a no if i nag about it etc. The children are bound to give up that tactics sooner or later if they never get anything that way.

My girlfriends mother used a "intresting" technique. When my girlfriend as a little girl made the "cry for candy"-stunt in the line at the supermarket her mother lay down on the floor next to her and screamed too. My girlfriend never did that again.

	19-06-2002 01:40									#53
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quote: Originally posted by Kropotkin My girlfriends mother used a "intresting" technique. When my girlfriend as a little girl made the "cry for candy"-stunt in the line at the supermarket her mother lay down on the floor next to her and screamed too. My girlfriend never did that again.

	19-06-2002 01:42									#54
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Yeah, shame and public embarrassment are powerful weapons in a parent's arsenal. More powerful, IMO, than a belt.

-Arrian

	19-06-2002 01:44									#55
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Smarter, faster and no need for violence.

If you want a society without violence you should start at home.

	19-06-2002 01:47									#56
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I was indeed... plenty of times. Sometimes by objects, like hangers and belts (though that was done very rarely). But yes... spanked I was.

	19-06-2002 01:48									#57
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui I was indeed... plenty of times. Sometimes by objects, like hangers and belts (though that was done very rarely). But yes... spanked I was.

Was your mother Joan Crawford?

	19-06-2002 01:55									#58
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No, it was my father mostly... my mother hardly hit us.

	19-06-2002 01:57									#59
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Your father was mostly Joan Crawford? It's a wonder you managed to turn out as well as you did!

	19-06-2002 02:04									#60
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quote: Originally posted by Faboba Your father was mostly Joan Crawford? It's a wonder you managed to turn out as well as you did!

Seriously, Imran, not to make judgements...but that makes me really angry.