19-06-2002 17:35									#121
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quote: Originally posted by Paul Hanson I was spanked quite regularly when I was little. But it gradually taught me self-discipline, and by the time I was at school there was no real need for it.

I thought you were going to say that by the time you got to school you had already learned to spank yourself!

	19-06-2002 17:36									#122
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We got only rarely spanked at home. Spanking was the ultimate punishment, it was there only for major silly things, like putting someone else in -real- danger.
I remember only one spanking: I tried (and succeed) to simulate a car accident with the kart of a friend and my sister as victim...
She complainted.

The philosophy of my parents was:
"If you hit your child for a broken glass, what will you do to him for more serious things? Hurt him? Kill him? If you don't, how will you teach him there are minor silly things and major?"

	19-06-2002 17:41									#123
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quote: Originally posted by Sikander I thought you were going to say that by the time you got to school you had already learned to spank yourself!

I've already made that crap joke. Read the rest of the thread.

	19-06-2002 17:52									#124
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quote: Originally posted by Faboba I've already made that crap joke. Read the rest of the thread.

The fourth time is the charm.

	19-06-2002 18:09									#125
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I got spanked by both parents, but not all that often. My dad tended to do the spanking early on, with a belt. He would spank until you cried really bad. He quit spanking me when I was about 7 or 8 and I started laughing instead of crying. He beat me until he was exhausted and almost in tears himself, and I just kept laughing. Psych! Still, if I really made him angry he would sometimes give me an open handed blow to the side of the head. This was no slap, but similar to a martial arts style blow. It would lay me out.

My mother was less prone to spank, especially as I knew how to psych her out before she could get organized. She was actually the one who started me on that laughing bit, because if I started laughing she would start laughing, and the blows she was raining upon me lost some of their energy and most of their focus. The problem with my mom (aside from being really severely abused herself, and from that really psychologically cruel at times) was that she was a lot easier to send over the edge, and then watch out. She would hit you with whatever she had in her hands. Needless to say that I was tough as nails even when I was a little kid, and completely fearless of getting beaten up or any of that crap.

	19-06-2002 18:27									#126
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Well, my parents had a sort of theory of child discipline similar to Mayor Guilliani's theory of crime prevention: if you let the little things slip big problems will follow, so punish the heck out of small infractions. I was involved in one fight my whole childhood. I never vandalized. I can remember cursing only once. The sort of thing I would get punished for was "disturbing the peace". I had brothers 8 and 3 years older. They liked to use me as a wrestling dummy ( among other things which I have mentioned in the past and will not repeat here ). I often got whipped for crying out for mercy or help too loudly.

	19-06-2002 18:44									#127
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No offense, but I think that's horrible.

-Arrian

	19-06-2002 19:17									#128
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I wonder if the starter of this thread thought enough in advance that he was opening up a door to all kinds of stories of parental abuse...

	19-06-2002 20:30									#129
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quote: Originally posted by Dalgetti Flubber: What's wrong with books? they're FASCINATING! ( I guess that's why I am heading into research )

Not a thing wrong with books . . . that was the point. Since as a child my "punishment" was to be sent to my room where there were ample books and nothing much else, my parents were " encouraging" me to read. So while my childs mind was thinking they were dumb since being sent to read was not a punishment to me at all, my much smarter parents were quite happy and aware of this.

A couple of other things about their methods

1. never any form of physical punishment . . . ever
2. Doing household chores or tasks was never a punishment-- from a fairly early age I had some things (like making my own bed ) that were my RESPONSIBILITY-- My parents had to redo much of the stuff but the idea for them in the early years wasn't so much about getting the chore done as it was about teaching us responsibility

3. Immediacy-- notification of the punishment was immediate but the implementation could take a couple of days-- At implementation they would ALWAYS remind me of what the punishment was for

4. Most punishments were related to denial of something , often the ability to watch TV (this was of course part of their unspoken pro-reading campaign)

5. No punishment ever prevented me from competing in team sports or attending a meeting of any team, group or club of which I was a member. Their attitude was that those were group commitments which should be kept

6. Utter consistency-- they NEVER made a threat that they never followed through on. If misbehaving, the possible consequences were unknown and never enumerated as a possible future punishment. This is a big one as I see friend of mine ( who is a parent)make threats all the time if a behavior is continued and then don't follow through. They threaten and threaten but the kid "knows' that nothing will happen and then are utterly suprised and confused on the rare occasion that the parent does follow through

	19-06-2002 21:19									#130
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Yes they did. Baaad parents.

	19-06-2002 21:21									#131
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Gosh some of you guys were closed to being abused. I never get any punishments, even after I do something bad...

	19-06-2002 21:22									#132
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quote: Originally posted by Fez Gosh some of you guys were closed to being abused. I never get any punishments, even after I do something bad...

I think its abusive not to discipline a child at all.

	19-06-2002 21:22									#133
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It shows...

	19-06-2002 21:23									#134
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quote: Originally posted by Caligastia I think its abusive not to discipline a child at all.

I disagre... I think it is fine... well fine with me.... hehe...

	19-06-2002 21:25									#135
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quote: it shows...

heh.

	19-06-2002 21:25									#136
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quote: Originally posted by Fez I disagre... I think it is fine... well fine with me.... hehe...

Later in life you may wish you had been punished more often. Then again, you could turn out ok.... *shrugs*

	19-06-2002 21:27									#137
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quote: Originally posted by Caligastia Later in life you may wish you had been punished more often. Then again, you could turn out ok.... *shrugs*

Hey I will turn out a good person.... I don't think punishment is right. It has to be the parents that are good... yes, I admit I been banned from watching TV or going on the internet before... but spanking is a no way.

	19-06-2002 21:28									#138
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quote: Originally posted by Caligastia I think its abusive not to discipline a child at all.

Disciplining a child does not mean beating it. There are far more effective and creative ways to discipline a child. Hitting one is brutality.

My parents learned very early on that spankings were degrading not just to me but to them. They found better punishments, and I certainly became a well-behaved kid.

	19-06-2002 21:30									#139
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quote: Originally posted by Fez Gosh some of you guys were closed to being abused. I never get any punishments, even after I do something bad...

This explains a lot...

	19-06-2002 21:31									#140
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Thats good for you, but some kids need the occasional tap on the behind Boris.

	19-06-2002 21:32									#141
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Cali, an occasional tap is one thing. Prolonged spankings are another. I see little difference between a spanking and a beating.

	19-06-2002 21:33									#142
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov This explains a lot...

Well I did get banned from going on the internet, or watching TV but I could find better things to do. (sorry apolyton)

	19-06-2002 21:34									#143
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Boris-

We agree then.

	19-06-2002 21:35									#144
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Cali,

Not all of us see it that way. Discipline is essential - violence is not. And any way you cut it, smacking your kid is violence. Anybody see the irony in spanking a child for fighting with a sibling?

-Arrian

	19-06-2002 21:39									#145
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Some children need the occasional spanking, others dont.

	19-06-2002 21:47									#146
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It does reinforce a notion that is okay to hit when you are mad at someone, doesn't it?

	19-06-2002 21:50									#147
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Anybody see the inrony in hanging a murderer or fining an embezzler or locking up a kidnapper?

	19-06-2002 21:55									#148
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov It does reinforce a notion that is okay to hit when you are mad at someone, doesn't it?

Spankings should not be carried out in anger.

	19-06-2002 21:56									#149
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quote: Originally posted by GP Anybody see the inrony in hanging a murderer

Yes.

Comparing kids to murderers and kidnappers, are we?

	19-06-2002 22:14									#150
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little buggers.