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BirdsRock
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ask her out then dont chit chat here
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al hail bobo
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LORIZAEL IS PARANOID
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Sava
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GO GO GO!
Mar 2001
time: 23:21
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The first girl I was intimate with I seduced on accident. At the time, I only had known her for about 7 hours. We were in her room (parents were home too  ) talking, trying to get to know each other better. We were discussing how many people we had been intimate with in the past. I'll try to reconstruct the conversation: Her name is Pilar BTW...
Pilar "How many people have you had sex with?"
"I'm a little scared to tell you the truth?"
"Why is that?"
"I don't know if you will like the answer, it might change your opinion of me."
"Is the number too high?"
"Too high? Why would you assume it's too high?"
"Because you're a really good-looking guy and you just seem like you're a player."
"Well, thanks, I guess. But the number is zero. I haven't really told anybody that before. I feel a little ashamed, maybe embarassed."
"Aw, I think that's great..."
fast forwarding a little bit... I had told her earlier in the evening that I had taken some massage classes and I was pretty good. I started by massaging her feet. Then it turned to her back. That's when the night almost ended.
Pilar --- "I really like you, Sava. Would you like to try something else?"
"Yeah sure... I'd like to mess around..."
"huh? Get out!"
I was confused, obviously. By that point I was just sort of going with the flow. It really struck me hard that she wanted me to leave all of a sudden. This girl was really special, I could tell, and I didn't want the night to end like that, especially since I would probably never see her again with an ending like that.
me -- "What's wrong?"
Pilarr -- "You come in here in my room, and lie to me saying you've never been with a girl, yet you all of a sudden want to 'mess around?'"
"I didn't mean it like that? Look, I'm not real experienced with girls and I'm flying by the seat of my pants hear... no pun intended. I wouldn't want you to do anything you wouldn't want to do. I really like you a lot; I think you're great, and I don't want this night too end. I don't know what you meant by, 'try something else'. I was just trying to go with the flow. [I started to cry] I know you are skeptical about it, but I'm really not experienced with girls.
"Are you crying?"
"Well, yes..."
"Why?"
"Because I really like you, and all of a sudden, something I said really upset you, and now you want me to leave and never come back."
At this point, she kissed me. I stood up and she embraced me.
Pilar -- "Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you like that. I've just known a lot of guys who's sole intentions were to have sex with me."
"That's understandable because you're very beautiful. But I just want you to know, that I'm not like that. Whether we sit and talk for the entire night, or become a little more friendly, you know, touchy feely, I want you to know that just spending time with you is special to me."
"If I had said, 'let's have sex', would you have said yes?"
"I would have said, yes, but not right now. Plus I don't have a condom."
"Well, that's good..."
"Why?"
"Well that shows your intentions. How about we rewind a little bit. I was really enjoying that massage. I'm sorry I ruined the mood."
We laid back down on her bed and I continued to massage her feet. I'm not sure how much time had passed, time seemed to have no meaning at this point. I was concentrating from her feet to about her knee. Now, things were really going to move to the next level.
Pilar -- "You can go a little higher."
"Really, you'd be okay with that?"
"Yeah, this feels so good"
I began to massage her thighs... it was so quiet in the room, I focused the rhythm of my hands to the sound of her breathing. She put her hand on mine as I worked deep into her muscles.
Pilar -- "You can go a little higher"
I paused.
Pilar -- "You don't have to if you don't want to."
"I want to, but are you all right with that? I'm a little nervous. I've never done that before."
"I'll guide to, but you're sure you want to do this?"
Sorry guys, but I'm going to end my experience here considering I doubt Markos and Ming would appreciate this going beyond a PG-13 rating. Anyways, I did not have intercourse with her, but I did end up going down on her. It was the first time I had down that, and she told me it was the best she ever had.
Sadly, our relationship would end 10 days later. The time we shared was short, but special. Ironically, it was me who ended up having a problem with her. She really started to fall for me after such a short period of time, which was okay, only I began to find out, she was a much different person than she described herself to be. She had a lot of emotional issues in which I won't get into, but at that point in time, I wasn't ready for a relationship of that magnitude. I was feeling a lot of the same feelings she was, and it was very hard for me to end it. But I had to because my life was being shaken apart by her. I still think about her a lot, and even wrote her a letter to see how she was doing. I told her how I felt, but sadly, she did not reply.
I met her at a Walgreens about an hour away from my house in a town I had never been in before. But it turned out that she knew a co-worker of my dad's. We were only 1 person apart in separation, yet had I not stopped to buy gum that day, I would have not met her. Yet that meeting, and the circumstances around it was part of the reason I chose to end it. It scared me too much. And as I began to learn more about her, I began to see two people. The first one was the girl I started falling for. The second was the person who she really was. Perhaps I was too quick in ending it. I second guess that decision all the time. Still, it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
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Jon Miller
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quote:
Originally posted by Chris 62
Why do these threads always read like a stalker handbook? |
you would think that Apolytoners would need no handbook...
Jon Miller
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Jon Miller
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I thought you didn;t beleive in love
that you said it was just a bunch of chemicals...
Jon Miller
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Jon Miller
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maybe you shouldn't
instead try to emphasize that part (you are not doing PHD work so yoiu cannot say that you are busy for an excuse)
also, most women don't like the talk of chemicals (I think)
Jon Miller
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Apolyton Time is 00:21. |
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20-07-2002 12:28
@ RJ
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