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Ethelred
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Cousins is too nebulous.
WHAT TYPE OF COUSIN?
First cousins is a Bad Idea.
Not always maybe but often enough they will both carry a hidden recessive. A friend of mine's parents were first cousins. All the kids were a bit weird but then the parents were odd even if they weren't first cousins. However they had eight kids. The last two were unconsionable as number five and six were both blind. Exactly the expected 25 percent ratio for a recessive gene. Which also means that is is likely that only two of the other eight aren't carrying the same nasty recessive gene.
Odds
Two blind - which was the result
Four with the bad gene
Two free of it.
No telling how many other problems carried over. The father was awfull. Cheapest SOB I have ever met. A neurosurgeon and he actually had his kidds living on peanut butter, bread and potatoes while he ate lobster. I am not kidding. A neurosurgeon and he married his first cousin. A neurosurgeon and he had more kids not only after one blind one but after two in row.
First cousins have a 25% genetic overlap not counting the fact that most human genes are the same in the first place. Second cousins have considerably better odds of not having problems. Third cousins are close to the same as marrying someone that is not at all related.
First cousins is a Bad Idea in general. At the very least get a genetic screening.
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Alinestra Covelia
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I sense the dodgy presence of Bing - a presence I've not felt since...
Feb 2000
time: 00:21
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Q Cubed, your advice is quite frightening in its accuracy. Have you been following me around?
And for those of you wondering, he's my second cousin. (My granduncle's grandson.) He's a few months older than me, and in fact in Chinese our names are nearly identical save for one syllable - our names were chosen purposefully because they fit into a poem scheme.
As for personality, oh he's got that and more - don't you worry. He's well-travelled, educated under the British system (like me), and shares many of my hobbies, perhaps including what Alexander's Horse has described above. He's funny, sensitive, and bilingual (Chinese/English).
And he's a virgin. This, in addition to being my cousin. How's that for forbidden fruit?
The only problem is, he's now 11,000 miles away so a relationship could be a bit tricky. If nothing else, I'm certainly testing out how well it withstands separation!
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Jon Miller
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2nd cousin
no reason not to go for it from the genetic angle
from the family angle, you would know better than us
if they don't seem to adverse (and you reallywant it), than go for it
Jon Miller
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Adalbertus
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Cologne, Germany
Feb 2001
time: 06:21
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Sorry, I couldn't be arsed to read all the posts, but my 0.02 ?:
quote:
Not only is there a higher risk of birth defects but the offspring have a greater risk of getting a double recessive gen that causes a genetic disorder |
The latter is exactly what crates the higher risks of birth defects.
I've read on an investigation on birds (no reference, though, it has been to long ago) that a certain species prefers first cousins. There are two points: For close relatives, the risk of genetic defects increases. But on the other hand, it is exactly you genes, you favour by breeding with close relatives, which is a good thing (for your genes, not necessarily for yourself or for humanity). For those birds therefore, it seems to be favourable to breed with relatives (I don't remember if they enter a lifelong relationship or not, which is a thing which doesn't matter for birds who get adult in a year, but for human children it does) - but anyway, if breeding with a cousin happened among your close common ancestors, I would refrain, otherwise, go on if you both are sure to be happy with this situation, and mostly with each other. There is more to a human life (yours as well as your potential children) than genetics.
I know of a situation where my parents thought about something between my brother and a cousine (nothing seriously happened, though) and even being quite conservative they had no real problems with that.
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Alinestra Covelia
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I sense the dodgy presence of Bing - a presence I've not felt since...
Feb 2000
time: 00:21
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My mother is not that conservative - she's Western in blood and Western in outlook. My father is Chinese and somewhat more traditional than my mother, but still astoundingly openminded in certain affairs (for example, letting me and my brother have our mother's surname instead of his own... something traditional Chinese men don't tend to approve). Of course, he married a Western woman, so that just goes to show.
The thing is, when I first met this cousin, a few years back, my father seemed really impressed by him, dropping all sorts of hints like "bet he wishes he wasn't your cousin". He also said a lot of good things about him, which is unusual - I don't think I've ever heard him say anything good about my previous boyfriends.
So I'm trying to work out what's going on here. If my dad is trying to get me interested in my cousin, then he's succeeded because there's definitely something in the air with us two. But this would seem to go against his traditionalist views.
In any case, I asked my mother for advice and her advice was to keep up email contact with my cousin for the two years that I'll be away. If we're really meant to be together, then we'll endure the two years and come out of it even closer than before. If not, then at least email will be able to keep us two good friends.
The somewhat depressing thing is that this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened to me, either.
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Q Cubed
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t3h y3ll0w p3ril
Apr 1999
time: 23:21
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alinestra-- nope, haven't been following you around. it would incur an extra "private detective/bodyguard" fee, which, i hate to say, would be rather steep (usd29.99/hr, 1yr contract minimum, payable in gold boullion on the twelfth and twenty-third of every money for deposit in a swiss bank). 
and overall, asiatic traditionalist views are hella lot more restrictive. list of permissible things stretches maybe, two inches, in size seventy two wide impact font.  but seriously, i dunno about china, but in korea there's a huge incest taboo. people with the same last names generally don't marry: kims don't marry kims, even if they may not be genetically married (there are at least four unrelated kim clans that i know of.)
this is very interesting, it having happened before...
i dunno what to say, actually. not about it happening twice, i mean about what to do with it. the traditional asian in me is saying that you ought to just bear the pain of not ever really being able to complete the circuit with him...
but the liberal in me is saying, although you're second cousins, this might be the real thing...
i dunno. my gut feeling here, though, is to just kinda grin, and bear trying to be friends. i'd tell you to try to cool it off, but...
are you quite certain that this might be "real love" ?
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24-07-2002 10:02
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