29-03-2000 18:24									#61
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Turn 6 to Noble Caligula.

As promised no mention of his perverse attitude to matters equine has been made.

OOPS! I guess that was one. Please forgive Chief Jon for his slip of the keyboard.

	30-03-2000 10:16									#62
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Turn 6 --> Rick of the Assyrians...

Yes, the Roman people are truly glad that the peace treaty between our two peoples was finally found!

The errant messenger involved was so adept at avoiding Caligula, that the Imperator feels he may make good sport trying to avoid the Lions...

Must get round to building that bloody coliseum!

MOBIUS

	30-03-2000 01:03									#63
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turn6--> Sophanthro

Mighty Caligula:

Would that you be merciful and allow our messenger to return to his home.

And before he leaves, please ask him to pick up some Buffalo mozzarella and a package of prosciutto from the great markets of Rome. Oh, and maybe some cannoli would be nice.

	30-03-2000 01:22									#64
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Would that I could - but we don't yet have a Marketplace...

On the list of 'Things to do' - you know how it is...

Since the Great Rick of the Assyrians has asked me to be lenient with this messenger, I have decided to forego my usual 'pastimes'

MOBIUS

	30-03-2000 03:24									#65
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Turn 7 ==> Demosthenes

The scribes of Egypt reported a huge jump in power by the distant Incans. The pharaohs advisors suggested that this gain was caused by a massive deployement of settlers. But the Pharaoh is loathe to trust the scribes as they have often reported falsely. He would drown them in the Nile, but they have formed a bloody union. For this very reason the Pharaoh has begun construction of mighty maze like structure; and longs for they day that he can send these foolish scribes into it to draw maps, while he releases his Minotaurs.

	30-03-2000 06:03									#66
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Turn 7 ==> Jon

The Council of Mudhuts has warned the people of Wales against mingling with our neighbours the Incans.

Rumours have us believe that the Incans are procreating at an incredible pace, and that contact with an average Incan male will leave the average Welsh women impregnated within at least 2 hours.

"If only we had contraception!" cried one elder, although he was declared insane to invent such a word, let alone the shocking devices he described.

	30-03-2000 12:48									#67
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Turn 7 to Caligula.

I know nothing of the Assyrians, save that their construction industry was in the hands of corrupt eunachs for some while, and still less of the Egyptians I can offer a quick and easy solution to the low birth-rate of the Roman and Welsh peoples.

Should it be that their menfolk chose to do as nature intended instead of concerning themselves with matters Ovine and Equine they would find, I am sure, no lack of fertility amongst their womenfolk.

Truly our land is bountiful but what causes me the greatest joy is the happiness of my people. They toil hard from dawn till dusk and yet still the 'Happy Scale' in Cuzco stands at a fabulous '78'! They adore me, and who could blame them, so that even though muscle and tendon be aching when I say 'Get you to your beds and breed!' they obey with a smile upon their faces. Such is the adoration in which I am held even poor homeless migrants come hither to me and beg to be allowed to enjoy my gentle rule in a land where Llama and Alpaca are left to serve as beasts of burden rather than as objects of strange fancies.

So I say to you that you would do well to follow the words of your own Holy Books.

'Let no man lie with another man nor his sister, his daughter nor the Ox nor the Ass nor any other Beast of the Field'.

and

'Let no man seek pleasure of himself that he shouldst bring forth the all consuming fire'.

Chief Jon has spoken.
[This message has been edited by Jon (edited March 30, 2000).]

	30-03-2000 20:14									#68
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And verily there came to pass a time when great sandstorms blew in from across the great deserts bordering our Civilisation obliterating the sun from the skies and casting it's terrified peoples into unimaginable darkness...

"What are we to do - the gods have forsaken us!?" Asked Emperor Caligula's citizens...

"Fear not" cried the Imperator, "For I have recently guided you to the teachings of Theology, cast down your pagan and idolatorous beliefs in many Gods and prostrate yourself before my divine presence - for I am the one, True God - Caligula!"

"I shall prove my powers - fear not the sandstorms and darkness my children, for these are merely created by the hot air emanating from the forked tongue of the leader of the incas - ignore it and it will go away..."

At that a great susurration of relief was heard across the land of the Romans as it was realised that the Divine Emperor Caligula had indeed spoken the truth and much wine was drunk that night...

IN VINO VERITAS


MOBIUS

	30-03-2000 21:14									#69
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Turn7--> Sophanthro

The latest rankings caused a cloud to cross the face of the good King of the Assyrians. How could this drop from grace have occurred so suddenly?

Hadn't he saved his people from the heinous (and far too crude to be mentioned here) practices of his predecessor? Hadn't his people let out an enormous collective sigh of relief when he outlawed certain "exotic hobbies" enjoyed by that former King?

So what could be displeasing the Gods so? But perhaps THAT was the problem. The pural "Gods".

So he brought his ministers before him and asked their advice as to his idea about changing Assyria to a one-God Theocracy.

Minister #1 warned about the elimination of the separation of church and state. He also feared that this could be the start of a world where each nation believed they held the affection and ear of their particular God...that each nation would believe that they had the one true God. Might that not instigate suspicion, hatred, and even war between nations? Could anything be worth such a cost? Besides, he reasoned, the Dog-God and the Many Headed Turtle-God might be displeased.

Minister #2 reminded the King that his drinking, whoring, and gambling had reduced the Assyrian coffers to near-zero. He then reminded the King that Theocracy made for good gold production, so that the King would not have to change his lifestyle.
____________________________________

Headline in Assyrian World Tribune:

KING ANNOUNCES ASSYRIA A THEOCRACY EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!
[This message has been edited by Rick Elkins (edited March 30, 2000).]

	30-03-2000 23:16									#70
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Turn 8 ==> Demosthenes

As the wave of Theocracy sweeps the world, Egyptian vowed their alliegence to the God's of Nature. It is true that the Pharaoh is a God, but not the only God said Amen Tut high priest of Isis. The Pharaoh however is a rising god for he his indeed wise, where as the other god's show thier wisdom thru the babbling of thier priests.

	31-03-2000 01:36									#71
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Turn 8 ==> Jon

All this talk of gods? The Welsh have been a Theocracy for a long time, indeed, almost certainly before any other nation.

Because of this we claim to be the one true faith, from which all other religions stem.

	31-03-2000 05:52									#72
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Turn 8 to Caligula

It is is hoped that at last our map exchange will be accepted!!

Chief Jon

	31-03-2000 15:33									#73
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Oh the arrogant petulance of the incan chief that he thinks the Imperator would gladly share the cartographical knowledge of the Roman people with him after putting up with almost four hundred years of his insults...

Perhaps he should wait until the renewal of our peace treaty as a lesson to his impudence...!

That is assuming he wishes to renew this treaty - Emperor Caligula is suspicious as to why he covets knowledge of his territory so insistently!!?

Emperor Caligula hopes that chief Jon won't throw his toy Phalanxes out of his cot over this mild admonishment from the Roman Senate and accepts that he should behave in a more responsible manner on the Intercivilisational scene...

INCITATUS

Consul of the Roman Empire

	31-03-2000 15:33									#74
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Oh the arrogant petulance of the incan chief that he thinks the Imperator would gladly share the cartographical knowledge of the Roman people with him after putting up with almost four hundred years of his insults...

Perhaps he should wait until the renewal of our peace treaty as a lesson to his impudence...!

That is assuming he wishes to renew this treaty - Emperor Caligula is suspicious as to why he covets knowledge of his territory so insistently!!?

Emperor Caligula hopes that chief Jon won't throw his toy Phalanxes out of his cot over this mild admonishment from the Roman Senate and accepts that he should behave in a more responsible manner on the Intercivilisational scene...

INCITATUS

Consul of the Roman Empire

	31-03-2000 20:32									#75
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Turn8--> Sophanthro

The combination of large expanses of both desert and frigid tundra have made for some interesting flora & fauna here in Assyria.

The Great Wooly Camel is but one example. And an Assyrian chef is using local ingredients to much acclaim, concocting such toothsome delights as a Cactus Sorbet, using both ice and cactus found within arms reach of his kitchen.

Our local Assyrian sandpaper industry creates a product that's the world's most abrasive (we Assyrians are always being called abrasive), and one sage has suggested we promote Ice-Fishing Tours to tourists, although his idea resulted in confusion, as none of us knew what a tourist is.

Still, we plucky Assyrians will make lemons into lemonade (even though they won't grow in our harsh climate).

	01-04-2000 06:28									#76
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Turn 9 ==> Demosthenes

	01-04-2000 23:10									#77
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Turn 9 ==> Sophix

The Welsh Empire continues to expand. Our knowledge knows no bounds.

________

Sorry guys, but I'm going to be unavailable from Monday April 3rd until Sunday April 9th. I'm going home to see my girlfriend and get a well deserved break.

Do you want to set me to AI or shall I ask Hexagonia if he can play my turns?

	01-04-2000 23:28									#78
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Turn 9 to Caligula.

The relentless climb of the power and stature of the Inca knows no bounds!

Oh Blessed indeed are the fair lands bequeathed to us by the Noble Demosthenes.

	02-04-2000 01:42									#79
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***Diplomatic Communique***

Emperor Caligula of the Romans is becoming increasingly agitated about the continuing build up of incan power which is now twice that of it's nearest competitor... How the incan leader manages to achieve this is a mystery - his lands must truly be as bountiful as he claims!

Emperor Caligula can only surmise that this massive jump in power must therefore be due to a build up of military forces (as suggested in the power graph thread...) and has reluctantly ordered the implementation of a viable defensive strategy, (namely defensive walls etc...)obviously the Romans are a peacefaring Empire and had no need of the trappings of war - this has caused unrest and anxiety in the minds of Rome's peace loving citizens...

Emperor Caligula still views chief jon of the incans as a peaceful neighbour...

HOWEVER - Emperor Caligula will view any agressive incursions into Roman territory by incan units as a precursor to invasion, these will be dealt with accordingly! The incan government does have the cartographical advantage of having a 'fix' on the old Roman settlement of Caesarea - I can only assume the incans are North of that point... Broadly speaking Emperor Caligula does not want to see an incan unit level with or any where South or East of Caesarea this is a desert of no material value which we should henceforth view as a 'buffer' zone between our lands...

Emperor Caligula would appreciate a 'gift' of the incans maps to put his mind at ease - this would also mend the distrust instilled by 400 years of crude beastial insults levelled at certain members of the Roman high senate. Indeed, such an act of goodwill would erase all those distasteful memories and herald a new dawn between our Civilisations! Surely one as powerful as the incan ruler would find it effortless to be so magnanamous...

Failing that Emperor Caligula requests that Demosthenes acts as a go between and 'UC' monitor and that the incans and the Welsh exchange maps to lay to rest any suspicion about any military build up...

PAX

Peace to all!


MOBIUS

	02-04-2000 02:32									#80
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Official Inca Reply.

The number and composition of the Inca Army is a matter of no concern to our Roman neighbours. Whilst it is true that we have adopted a policy of prudence and made certain that all of our Cities are well garrisoned we can assure all others that we seek only peace, love and harmony between all peoples.

We are intending to send a small detachment from our mounted brigade on a goodwill visit to Caeserea, and it's environs, for the purposes of cartographical research but nothing else!

Had Noble Caligula chosen to exchange such information with us we might have felt secure enough not to have maintained a high state of readiness or waste money upon swords and spears when our Cities need trading places and our fields need to be tilled.

When we receive a fair exchange of Maps all will be revealed to our equestrian neighbour but not before. Let us learn to trust one another and share our knowledge of the World and it's arts and sciences.

Be assured dear Romans that we love you and are deeply sorry for the neglected state of your womenfolk. We can help you if you will let us. I will order the despatch of some of my finest young warriors to solve your population crisis if you wish.

I think that should be gift enough for any man.

Chief Jon

	02-04-2000 04:13									#81
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Turn 9--> Sophanthro

The Assyrians watch carefully as their Roman neighbors to the north trade verbal spars with the Incan people.

Of the Incans only legends are known, but it is whispered by those passing through our lands that they have used their vast power to lay waste to the Chancas, the Quechua, and the kingdom of Chimú. As a peace-loving people, we can only hope that they do not have further expansionist plans into the lands of the other peoples of this world, and can one day be known to us as our friends.

And it is our great hope that the mutual mistrust between the great Caligula and the mighty Chief Jon can resolved in a civilized manner worthy of two such powerful heads of state.

	02-04-2000 04:16									#82
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***Official Communique to chief jon of the incas***

So you openly admit that your army is on a WAR FOOTING and that you have WELL GARRISONED your cities without any threat to your borders!!! YOU are the one who has been most cruelly goading the Roman People with your offensive rhetoric which we Romans have merely tried to turn the other cheek and get on with a programme of building Aqueducts for sanitation, Granaries for Food storage and Marketplaces for commerce - for the common good of the people...

Never once have we threatened you in any way - surely we would welcome a map exchange with you if we were agressive as we would know exactly where to strike... You, with your large Battle ready army are the ones who covet this - which of us is of the more suspicious disposition!!?

Your thinly veiled threats, your promise to violate my borders with your mounted brigade DESPITE my warning and your naked and insulting threat in 'promising' to despatch some of your finest Warriors to my lands expose you for the arrogant megalomaniac you truly are!!!

Let the World bear witness to your ADMISSION OF GUILT and condemn it now!!!


MOBIUS

	02-04-2000 05:06									#83
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Caligula, dear and trusted neighbour, hear now the words of Chief Jon.

I love you, not perhaps as passionatly as Incitatus, and your people. We bear you no ill-will and would not seek to harm any of the other peoples of this World.

Our land is bountiful and we are blessed with Ivory and Jade aplenty so that our commerce should flourish. Our young women have fruitful loins and beget us many fine sons and it is with sadness that I must instruct them in the ways of war. Should trust and an agreed border be set between us then be assured that my nervousness would be assuaged.

If you should object to an Inca scouting party then you can easily solve the problem by a perfectly civilised exchange of Maps. I do not look for war but my people have found a land of richness and fertility and we are surely the envy of such pitiful creatures as the 'hunter-gatherers' of Wales. I have to look toward the protection of my people and though we have ample defensive formations you find but few Legions or Knights.

Chief Jon
Friend of the Roman People.

	02-04-2000 08:19									#84
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Turn 10 ==> Demosthenes

The Pharaoh is puzzled by the rumours of military might of the Incans, the great leader of Egypt would like to caution the Nations of the world concerning the disadvantageous nature of bloodshed, when there is still free land a plenty.

Egypt also anounce that they would like to endorse Hexagonian to act as regent while the Demosthenes is gone, as they know him to be a wise ruler, and in Cairo's estimation a far better choice than his competitor for regent, AI.

	02-04-2000 08:27									#85
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Turn 10 ==> Jon

The so-called 'hunter-gatherers' of Wales are happy in their environment. Without the sinful temptation of lust that overwhelms our Incan brothers we have been able to discipline our minds in the peaceful settings of our island.

Proof of this can be found when one looks at our wealth of knowledge. We far surpass that of our lustful neighbours and henceforth call that such acts be soley within wedlock.

Gratiutous lust and fornication leads to a numbing of the mind, and ultimately to Hell.
[This message has been edited by The True Demosthenes (edited April 01, 2000).]

	02-04-2000 08:40									#86
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Unfortunately I cannot persuade Hex to take on both this game and Swissy's Acc. And at my present stage the AI would probably do less damage to this game than the other.

Therefore, unless anybody knows of a neutral who would be willing to play my turns for a week, I guess that with great trepidation, I'll have to hand over to the AI.
[This message has been edited by The True Demosthenes (edited April 01, 2000).]

	02-04-2000 19:45									#87
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chief jon of the incas...

You continue to belittle and mock me through your lies of 'love' and 'friendship'...

I will NOT exchange maps with you and if any incan units are detected passing through the desert buffer zone* previously stipulated, this will be treated as an act of WAR!

*Be advised that I will be looking to my NE borders, as that is the only direction Horsemen can approach Caesarea without the aid of WARSHIPS!

MOBIUS

	03-04-2000 00:06									#88
	Put an end to popups!

I take it chief jon now understands my viewpoint and that this will be an end to this matter...

Turn 10 --> Rick

Emperor Caligula wishes Demosthenes a safe and bountiful trip!


MOBIUS

	03-04-2000 02:01									#89
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Turn 10--> Sophanthro

The Assyrians are about to join the
world in the flurry of procreation.
The midwives of Assyria have been
put through a special endurance
training program to prepare them for
the grueling days ahead for them.

The expectant mothers have
apparantly all chosen to name their
male babies after their King as a
sign of loyalty and gratitude,
although the husbands have been
known to remark darkly about the
"coincidence" that so many of the
children have a marked resemblance
to the King.

The Kingdom of Assyria wishes
Demosthenes a good trip and sends
their wishes that his lands may be
even more bountiful upon his return,

	03-04-2000 02:32									#90
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Turn 11 ==> Demosthenes, your still around right?

I have also sent an AIed turn to Jon.

Egypt has also made contact with a leader, Shavlor, who has offered to play Demos's turns until Thursday. Egypt is waiting for a reply from Wales, before giving the file to Shav as Shav and Demos are at war in all the other games they are playing against each other in. If no reply is heard by the end of tonight I will hand the turn over to Shavlor.
[This message has been edited by Sophanthro (edited April 02, 2000).]