31-08-2002 04:32									#1
	AC Humor Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

Anybody got some AC jokes?

	31-08-2002 07:05									#2
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

yes, many. none are funny though, and i would both waste my time, and also humiliate myself by posting them.

	31-08-2002 07:06									#3
	Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

quote: Originally posted by TKG yes, many. none are funny though, and i would both waste my time, and also humiliate myself by posting them.

Oh.....Well post them anyway!

	31-08-2002 16:06									#4
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthre...&threadid=22651

I'll copy&paste one of mine.

Three University scientists are sitting on a bench in the front of a building.
They see two people enter the building... and three come out of it.
The Engineer: There was probably a tunnel underneath the building, from where the person came.
The Biologist: The two probably reproduced.
The Mathematician has a pause, pondering, and then says: That building has minus one person.

	01-09-2002 00:38									#5
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

A Gaian representative and a Hiverian representative were exchanging barbed greetings in a PBEM a long time ago on a hard drive far, far away. An excerpt from their verbal duel follows:

* ~ * ~ *

Gaian diplomat RedFred: "Well, I'm happy to say that our scientists have finished their research - we have fielded our first rover vehicle and hope to make considerable inroads to our exploration program. The scientists have been given increased pay, and are now taking some well-earned recreation time.

?!?!?!

"I appear to be having some difficulty translating the term 'recreation time' into Hiverian. The closest that my Gaian-Hive translator comes up with is 'a correctional stint in the punishment spheres to encourage work efficiency'. Odd."

* ~ * ~ *

Hiverian diplomat Alinestra Covelia: "How good to hear from you once more. Thank you for sending your emissary McClelland - his tongue is persuasive and he went down very well with me. As regards this 'recreation time' concept, McClelland did attempt to elaborate between congressional duties, but our agenda proceeded at a breakneck pace and we barely found time to draw breath between meetings. Still, now that he's gone back it shouldn't be long before I get my jodhpurs cleaned and am back on duty once more.

?!?!?!?

"I appear to be having difficulty translating the term 'jodhpurs' into Gaian. First of all, my Hive-Gaian dictionary came up with the term 'parts of the uniform that aid with riding', but this was insufficient. I then attempted to elaborate by explaining the term 'uniform' as 'a formal type of clothing typically used in military and political settings', but this too drew a blank. It wasn't until I referenced the term 'clothing' as 'that which people wear in order to cover their bodies' that I realized I would have to look up the term 'wear' and 'worn' as well. The best I can come up with is 'the state of not being naked' but that is a concept that returns a nil value on my Gaian language translator.

"I understand that these concepts are difficult for the Gaian mindset to grasp. I suggest you send McClelland back to the Hive under my supervision and I will make every attempt to demonstrate the ins and outs of the matter to him."

	01-09-2002 00:53									#6
	Suffering from ads?

...speaking of SMAC-humor, I cannot seem to locate the "You've played SMAC too much when..." -thread. Is it archived or what?

	01-09-2002 01:09									#7
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

there was one recently and i linked to the old one in it. try the 2nd or 3rd page