10-09-2002 07:41									#1
	an awkward suitation (homosexual help needed) Inflate your Upload Space

ok, me and my new friend at uni were eating lunch with his roommate, and we had to goto class, so we told the roomate we'd be back in an hour or so.

when we got to class, we found out it was cancelled. we headed back to the room.

we found his roomate with his shirt off necking with another guy.

we both kinda froze and the door shut itself, everyone frozen.

me and my friend came back to my room, and now we're both sitting here wondering what he should do.

he has to go back to his dorm room sooner or later.

this kid never told anyone he was gay. never alluded to it at all, nothing. it just kinda happened.

so, what the hell do we do? I could avoid the kid for a while, but my friend actually has to go back there tonight, so we need an answer asap. He's a really cool guy too, i liked hanging out with him, but now i'm all confused. argh. this has got to be horrible for him.

	10-09-2002 07:43									#2
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Your friend should avoid wearing buttless leather chaps. That one piece of advice tends to resolve most problems of this nature.

And have his roommate put a sock on the door or something when he's getting down and dirty. That's a good practice for heterosexual roommates as well, especially if they're dating ugly girls.

	10-09-2002 07:44									#3
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

He's gay, he's not a cannibal. If you're okay with it, just tell him you're okay with it.

BTW, nice sig.

	10-09-2002 07:45									#4
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

quote: Originally posted by loinburger Your friend should avoid wearing buttless leather chaps. That tends to solve most problems of this nature.

	10-09-2002 07:53									#5
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

quote: Originally posted by Asher He's gay, he's not a cannibal. If you're okay with it, just tell him you're okay with it. BTW, nice sig.

Exactly -- if you have not caught them in actual sex, but just making out, I'm sure neither of you will blow this out of proportion.

Now, on the other hand, if you saw one of them receiving something special in that special area, well -- I can understand your being VERY uncomfortable.

	10-09-2002 07:55									#6
	Increase the size of your Attachments

How much do you wanna bet the kid says he's bisexual and not gay?

	10-09-2002 07:56									#7
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

You're asking a poor, starving college student to make a bet?

	10-09-2002 07:58									#8
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

Okay, a farmer's bet then.

So many gay kids tell their male friends they're bi just so they can still be "one of the guys" that it gives the real bis a bad name.

	10-09-2002 08:05									#9
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

quote: Originally posted by Asher Okay, a farmer's bet then. So many gay kids tell their male friends they're bi just so they can still be "one of the guys" that it gives the real bis a bad name.

Unless you count coming from a rural town as living on a farm, I have never lived on a farm. I know shocker -- an Iowan who has never lived with livestock.

And I knew what you were implying -- probably does happen often enough, that a gay person at first likes to think he is bisexual.

	10-09-2002 08:17									#10
	Increase the size of your Attachments

i don't see what the problem is.

Would you have reacted the same way if he was with a girl?

Does it bother you, Uber?

	10-09-2002 08:19									#11
	Suffering from ads?

Don't let it slide. Talk about it now before anything else happens.

Even if you are okay with it, waiting can make things worse, even if there is no reason for it to be worse.

	10-09-2002 08:20									#12
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

Yeah, the worst thing is not talk about it at all or wait a long time.

What you should have done is reacted less "OH MY GOD!!" and more "Whoops, sorry dude. Have fun, I'll be back later".

	10-09-2002 08:22									#13
	Increase Your PM Length

if the reaction was bad...just talk to him, say it was unexpected and that you're cool with it (if you are)

	10-09-2002 08:22									#14
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

quote: What you should have done is reacted less "OH MY GOD!!" and more "Whoops, sorry dude. Have fun, I'll be back later".

I agree.

	10-09-2002 08:23									#15
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

but he was shocked

and I see no reason why he sholdn't have been

if my current housemate walked in on me with a girl, I would have expect a similiar response (Oh my God!)

Jon Miller

	10-09-2002 08:27									#16
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

quote: Originally posted by Jon Miller if my current housemate walked in on me with a girl, I would have expect a similiar response (Oh my God!)

But not in the terrified "what kind of freak are you?" sense...

	10-09-2002 08:28									#17
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

Uber, I agree with the advice to use a sock to tell a roommate when the room is 'occupied,' but I also have this to add:
Just don't get all weird around the gay roomie. Being homosexual in this world is a very difficult thing for the vast majority of us. Trying to find people that we'd be comfortable with knowing we're gay is often difficult. High school was very difficult for me because, although I didn't come out DURING high school, I still had to find sympathetic ears. And one of the harshest, most painful things is when a friend, my best friend of five years, starts to act all weird around you. Eventually, they push you away just because they couldn't deal. It took me a while to figure out why exactly I lost my best friend and I realized he thought I was attracted to him. Um...no. NOT my type, believe me. And the way he pushed me away...do you know what it's like to be invisible? This was made even worse by the fact that I'm 5'7" and he was just over 6,' so whenever I tried talking to him, he'd only talk with the minimum number of words to make a conversation, all the will looking over my head at whatever was going on, never once looking at me.

Think of it this way Uber: you and your friend just met the guy. Don't do anything you wouldn't do around any guy you weren't really aquinted with, regardless of sexual orientation. Your roommate should make the extra effort to talk with this guy and find out what boundaries he shouldn't cross with him, and visa-versa. If you approach this with repect and compassion, this whole episode will be looked back upon with humor. If not, it could be a miserable experiance for all involved.

	10-09-2002 08:32									#18
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

quote: Originally posted by Asher But not in the terrified "what kind of freak are you?" sense...

but here would still have been shock

and a lot of it

an dI at least cannot tell what causes shock

so for all I know it could be the what a freak you are type

but I would assume not

Jon Miller

	10-09-2002 08:32									#19
	Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

This still isn't all that bad a way to be outed.

I was outted near the end of my senior year in high school by a drunken "friend" at a party to nearly all of my friends at once.

The looks everyone gives you are just creepy and unnerving...

	10-09-2002 08:50									#20
	Tired of ads?

it's not so much me not accepting it (i'm FAIRLY ok with homosexuality, i just don't like to see it), it's also the fact that he didn't TELL anyone and we just FOUND OUT in a way he probably wouldn't have liked.

whatever, my friend is going back to his room and me and that kid are supposed to have breakfast tomorrow before calc, so i guess we'll see what happens.

	10-09-2002 08:51									#21
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

quote: Originally posted by UberKruX whatever, my friend is going back to his room and me and that kid are supposed to have breakfast tomorrow before calc, so i guess we'll see what happens.

Make sure you wear and athletic cup, you know those gays...

	10-09-2002 08:53									#22
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

quote: Originally posted by Asher Make sure you wear and athletic cup, you know those gays...

ack! don't do that!

STOP GIVING ME GAY!

	10-09-2002 08:55									#23
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

quote: Originally posted by UberKruX ack! don't do that! STOP GIVING ME GAY!

That was weird...

Tuck a banana in your shorts and see if he notices.
Better yet, tuck one in the front and one in the back.

	10-09-2002 08:55									#24
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

quote: Originally posted by Asher Make sure you wear and athletic cup, you know those gays...

ASHER!!! You know better than that...

...We make our attacks from behind!

	10-09-2002 09:02									#25
	Suffering from ads?

Asher doesn't

Jon Miller

	10-09-2002 09:05									#26
	Increase Your PM Length

quote: Originally posted by UberKruX it's not so much me not accepting it (i'm FAIRLY ok with homosexuality, i just don't like to see it), it's also the fact that he didn't TELL anyone and we just FOUND OUT in a way he probably wouldn't have liked.

I would like Stewie and all other heteros who do not understand the coming out process that gays and lesbians have, to read this quote from a certified hetero.

	10-09-2002 09:18									#27
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

quote: Originally posted by DRoseDARs ASHER!!! You know better than that... ...We make our attacks from behind!

So what are you complaining about? Haven't you ever seen an athletic cup?

	10-09-2002 09:19									#28
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

I haven't seen one

Jon Miller

	10-09-2002 09:22									#29
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

quote: Originally posted by Jon Miller I haven't seen one Jon Miller

Poor thing. You've never played any contact sports? Even I've done that, Jon, that's just sad.

Go to the local sportshop and ask if you can try on their athletic cups.

	10-09-2002 09:34									#30
	Inflate your Upload Space

quote: Originally posted by Asher So what are you complaining about? Haven't you ever seen an athletic cup?

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: A Yes in the form of a joke...that would get me banned for MONTHS. Living dangerously as it is in this thread...really don't want to go that extra mile.