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mrmitchell
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I am bringing these Complaints to you, Grand Despot Togas. I am doing so through the public communications because I believe the people should know about this horrid atrocity.
The Complaints are:
1. Senor Hernan de History Guy Calamari threw Thug, my most educated slave, into the river near Madrid. He did so obviously knowing that Thug would go over the waterfall that is along the course of the river, and then Thug would hit the rocks at the bottom and have an untimely death.
2. Senor Calamari is obviously trying to hide something that his clan knows pertaining to the quality of the Spamish Enterprises Spam Brand Squid. For this (and the above), I suggest you read all of this (save for my trial for seeing the drink-induced delusion): Suggested Reading Material  .
In it, specifically are these quotes, backing complaints 1 and 2 respectively:
(Evidence for Complaint 1)
quote:
I wouldn't trust Thug as far as I could throw him. Heck, let's stand over here by the fast moving river and I'll see how far I can throw him...in the direction of the fast moving river that heads directly for the huge waterfall...yeah, that's right. Let's see how far I can throw him here...
Sorry about the loss of Thug, like that. It was just so fast, and so unexpected.
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This says that Senor Calamari had the intent of throwing Thug in the direction of the huge waterfall, which any educated citizen of Spain (especially a wealthy Squid merchant) would know would be rather deadly for Thug.
(Evidence for Complaint 2)
quote:
Thug's...watch??! He was...on...watch? Uhhhh...ummmm... |
Senor Calamari here says there is a problem with Thug watching the shores where we catch our own Squid. This is a problem in itself, and as you will see reading Senor's posts in the Suggested Reading Material, Senor Calamari tried to discredit Thug after he realized that Thug was watching the coast.
As this is the first time a Complaint has ever been brought against anyone in Spain's history, I ask that you try to be a little lenient with me if I accidentally do not post all the information you need. If you do need more information, I will be most happy to find it for you, although most of the information should be in that thread.
OOC: This being a complaint thread, I don't necessarily know if anyone should post in it other than me, Senor Calamari, and Grand Despot Togas, so if you can, please try to stay on the safe side (unless this needs a bump to bring it to Grand Despot Togas's attention) /OOC
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mrmitchell
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Grand Despot Togas, I brought this complaint straight to you instead of going through the conventional means because I feel that we are no longer a nation of brutes. As we have established our first permanent city, we must bring ourselves beyond our ancestors' more uncivilized methods of living. My own family's traditional method of resolving disputes is to have a fighting match in the mud.
Um...I think I already explained my arguments here...but in case there's any argument that the things Senor Calamari are listed as doing is wrong, I'll try to explain why:
As for complaint one (that killing Thug is wrong), I'll say this: every member of Spain, save for the lowest slaves, has the basic right to life so that they may serve Grand Despot Togas. Thug was not a lowest slave. He was probably one of the most educated slaves in Spain, and he knew how to read and write simple letters, along with the simple mathematics of adding and subtracting up to (OOC: okay, for lack of better replacement, I will use an arabic numeral in Spain in 3950BC /OOC) 47. He doesn't know them as far as they go (IIRC 377) but he is educated enough to make a living if set out on his own. Er, he was educated enough.
If Senor Calamari wishes to dispute by saying 8 workers have died soon after eating Spam Brand Squid, I will say personally that I am sorry for any incident resulting in the harm of the worker corp (that is caused by me  . I have a feeling that what Senor Calamari is trying to hide will show that it is not caused by me). However, 90% of the worker corp was comprised of, if I remember correctly, the lowest slaves, so there should not be any loss there, and I would be happy to give you 8 of my own lowest slaves to replace them. Also, Senor Calamari's reports have not been backed up IIRC, and I have voluntarily closed the Spam Brand temporarily due to my competitor's reports.
About complaint 2(Senor Calamari is hiding something he knows and I don't about our catching shores). This is wrong simply because that it lets the company that does not wish to retain its honor break the rules, and any company trying to retain its honor cannot beat the other company unless they bend the rules themselves. This allows a company to unfairly remain in power when its competitor's products would be superior save for this practice.
OOC: I guess thats enough, I'm in a rush /OOC
And, Grand Despot Togas, I believe it was Senor Pikesfan who said he heard Thug's last words, but IIRC he said they were "Help! I'm going over the water-", so that shouldn't be of tremendous help.
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Nuclear Winter
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I have evidence that Señor hernan is innocent!
He is a studious by heart , and he was curious to know if a slave, being an inferior being, would go as far in a strong watered river as a human does. The death of Señor Thug was but a mere accident,not only necessary for science, but also a small nuisance wich can be solved by, lets say, 3 bones. C´mon, it´s a very good price so that you don´t complain that I´m being unfair! It is just the same price of a wine pot!
About complain Number 2 he was trying to deduce if Thug had poisoned the Squids because the worker who died were property of our Lord Togas, and Hernan wanted to know if a mere slave was trying to damage His properties knowingly.
Also, the death of a slave has provided to us a good question: what attracts thing toward the ground? I believe we will have no answer on this for centuries (My son Henrique theorizes that it might be the force of a number of Greater spirits who do this...), but anyway we now have a starting point. Señor Hernan deserves a shining honor stone piece rather than being burned in open market in squid oil... Señor Spamish should not make such mindless attacks just because his squids are being called ´´The terrifing squids of death´´ and because Señor Thud has envisioned a kind of ´´Biological weapon´´, this meaning using spam brands squid shop squids to kill enemies!
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jdjdjd
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of España
May 2002
time: 00:24
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I did witness an incident at the river, involving Thug & Senor Calamari.
I was saying may daily prayers to the great Poseidon near the river, and was drinking several bottles of my sacrificial cactus juice, when I was awoken by a loud noise. I looked across the river from where I was and saw a large man who looked like a bear, I beleive it was Senor Calamari, after having been turned into a bear-man, pursuant to a pact he made with the goddess of the forest, Artemis. Calamari had something large above his head, that looked like a bee hive, but clearly was Thug, who had been turned into a bee-hive-man by the goddess Demeter, in her attempt to thwart Artemis' pact with Calamari. The bee-hive-man, Thug, fell what was to his apparent death. I could not go after him, as suddenly out of no where, many bees were swarming and I had to take cover in a nearby mud puddle, which smelt oddly like bear dung.
This is the truth, as the god Poseidon is my witness.
Senor jdjdjd
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pikesfan
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quote:
Originally posted by mrmitchell
And, Grand Despot Togas, I believe it was Senor Pikesfan who said he heard Thug's last words, but IIRC he said they were "Help! I'm going over the water-", so that shouldn't be of tremendous help. |
O Great Despot, to placate the Spirit of Accuracy I must say that Señor Mitchell did not remember Thug’s last words correctly. They were:
“AAAAAAAAGH! I’m going over the water{glub}!”
He did not call for help with his last words. I hope knowing the exact truth will help you with your wise judgement.
Señor Pikesfan
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pikesfan
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In my valley in Los Piraneos, there are some foolish young men who sit on logs and float down the rapids for sport. They often cry “AAAAAAAAGH! I’m going over the water{glub}!” or words to that effect, hoping their bravery, or should I say foolhardiness, will attract maidens. Sometimes it does.
When I heard those words from the hill, I assumed that Thud was that kind of foolishly sportive young man, so it did not occur to me that he was in any trouble. Alas that my simple mountain tribesman culture is so different and perpetually leads me into misunderstandings about civilized Spanish culture.
Last edited by pikesfan on 04-12-2002 at 07:57
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pikesfan
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[The undercook of Señor Calamari breathlessly runs in.]
O great and wise and mighty Despot, the Señor Calamari has not even taken the first bite of his Squid Fried With Onions yet. He asks me to send you this plate of fresh Squid Fried With Onions from his own table for you to munch on while he fortifies himself so he can give evidence on a full stomach, for the moment of perfection of squid waits for no man.
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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:24
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Grand Despot, I was out all day, collecting evidence.
The first scrap of evidence is this mangled little squid. It has, you will note, a small microdot. I found that it was squid ink, and that it had obviously been carelessly plopped onto this animal while the owner of the writing desk on which my Private Investigator (no names named) found the said item. Searching the desk, he found a few pieces of note paper, all in Mitchell's hand writing.
The second piece of evidence is the paper. Dated several days before the occurence, it appears to be a plot to depose me as squid baron, creating a scenario in which I would appear to murder Thug. It seems as if it was all deliberately plotted.
Thirdly, the last piece of evidence is Senor Thug himself, who was in reality not dead, but was found hiding in a small barn on the Mitchell estate, waiting for "all this to blow over". Apparently, it was a set up, and he now admits it freely. Senor Mitchell was simply trying to discredit me. I turn over to your custody Senor Thug.
Is anything more needed?
Your Humble Servant
Hernan de History Guy Calamari
Squid Baron
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jdjdjd
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of España
May 2002
time: 00:24
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I forgot one thing, Senor Calamari, while a bear, did steal my picnic basket, despite his small freind, who had also been turned into a small bear, cries of "No, Yogi, Mr. Ranger will find out".
Now I must go, as the guards are coming to take me to the Shrine, may the great Poseidon save me.
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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:24
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Senor Mitchell, I will now have to press charges for the plot against my company and the murder of Senor Ronni (who is now being replaced by a close relative). It is clearly evident from my evidence that you were planning to discredit me and blacken my good name, and now we have evidence that you had your undercook poison my good friend and fellow historian, Senor Ronni Pikesfan, whose funeral will be presided over by the High Priest, and will be the biggest funeral since Togas I. This is serious for you indeed. I could always, of course, drop all charges if you were to sell me your squid company, or something like that...
As for Senor Thug, as you can see, he is alive and well, and quite upset that you haven't paid him the extra 12 bones you appear to have promised him. And as for why I was nervous, it was because I saw that the river was fast moving and that there were some individuals who were falling in and disappearing forever. I feared for his life, and so tactfully moved him from the vicinity. Unfortunately, it seems to have been a wicked and cunning set up!
Senor Jdjdjd, I know nothing of this. Do you know any of this, Boo Boo? No. There, you see?
Hernan de History Guy Calamari
Squid Baron
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Togas
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California
Jun 2002
time: 21:24
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I have heard enough in this matter!
I will not have any counter "charges" or other complicated nonsense added to this debacle. It is clear to me that Thug is an idiot, not a well educated slave as Senor Mitchell claims. Senor Calamari states clearly that he wouldn't trust Thug as far as he could throw him and I certainly do not trust the word of this slave.
A slave is property. That property has not been lost and therefore there has been no loss to anyone save me for having to hear this complaint.
However, I do not find that Senor Calamari was without fault as he is the one who plainly admits to throwing Thug into the water and down the waterfall.
I find that Thug is at fault for hiding himself from his master and causing this pointless stir.
I find that Senor Mitchell is at fault for having bad calamari that killed Senor Pikesfan.
THEREFORE, The following is my ruling on this matter:
For my amusement and for the amusement of us all, the slave Thug will be thrown BACK into the river to ride over the edge of that very waterfall. Should he survive the trip, Senor Calamari will give one day's worth of profits from his Calamari sales to Senor Mitchell.
And should he survive the trip, he shall be thrown in AGAIN the following day. Again, if he survives that day, Senor Calamari shall pay Senor Mitchell one day's profits.
This shall be repeated for up to SEVEN times. Each time, the same rules apply.
Should he survive all seven trips, he shall be returned to his master Senor Mitchell to do with as he pleases.
All citizens are invited to watch these tossings and to make wagers on the results. Furthermore, a festival will be held that will continue on a nightly basis for as long as the slave Thug survives his trip.
At the end of the festival Senor Mitchell shall pay for a giant feast in honor of Senor Pikesfan that will be presided over by our High Priest. Senor Mitchell shall make great offerings to the spirit of the man and to the spirits of his family in accordance with the instructions of the High Priest.
So it is said. So it shall be done.
--Togas
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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:24
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I agree with your decision, as it is, as all your decisions, fair. All of your decisions are wise and noble.
However, you will please note that no where have I admitted throwing Thug into the river, indeed, I have said that I threw him across the river and onto the bank on the other side, where he scurried away uninjured. I was attempting to save him from disaster, as he appeared to be sliding into the fast moving river. Had I not done so, an actual disaster may have occured, and a true tragedy as well.
Also, the property was not destroyed, and thus there is no cause for this trial, therefore, if Senor Mitchell is pressing charges, he is doing it in defiance of all fairness or any law of the land, and if this factor is ignored, a grievous miscarriage of justice may be unnavoidable. Not, mind you, that I mean to suggest that our wise dictator would be responsible for just such a miscarriage.
However, please excuse me for this foolishness. It is only the mere ramblings of an old man. Our dictator is all wise and he only makes the right decisions.
I trust the spirits whom favor me so much shall look kindly upon me and take as sacrifice the said property of Senor Mitchell. (OOC/ In other words, I'd hope Thug just sinks on the first day and we get this one over with! OOC)
Hernan de History Guy Calamari
Squid Baron
Last edited by History Guy on 05-12-2002 at 06:57
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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:24
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Last edited by History Guy on 06-12-2002 at 04:54
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mrmitchell
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I have returned, and I have terrible news!!!
I have hidden in the bushes near our Squid-catching shores. I have seen, twice, slaves of the Calamari clan dumping their chamberpots into our waters. Worse, they looked around to make sure no one was watching, meaning that they knew very well the local Squid would eat the contents of the chamberpots (ugh...I'm going to go throw up) and then they would be caught and packag--
MUST MAKE IT TO CHAMBERPOT!!!
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Arnelos
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of the Free World
Sep 2002
time: 00:24
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quote:
Originally posted by History Guy
As a tragic footnote, I was today witness to the sad death of none other than the slave, Thug.
I do not lie.
Thug was being taken to a stone prison under guard to be locked up in wait of the festival when he suddenly broke free from the grip of his guards and ran off. He apparently was afraid that he'd sink during the festival, and did his best to escape.
He was closely followed by the running guards, who threw their throwing axes at him to no avail.
Thug reached the shrine, and prepared to rush up the stairs to get inside, it seems to claim sanctuary at the altar. Unfortunately for him, a great bolt of lightning then appeared in the sky behind the shrine of the High Priest and struck him dead, leaving little behind other than a pile of ash, several fingers, and both pinkies. He is, it seems, dead.
We can only suppose that it was the act of the great spirits to do what they must have thought to be right. They can make no mistake, and no man dare speak against their decision. They must have taken Thug up as a sacrifice as the High Priest prayed on my behalf, and seen this as fit atonement, bringing this whole sad event to an end.
I trust that the High Priest will deliver his interpretation of the events in due course. I certainly hope so.
I am at a loss here, though. What will become of the festival? Unless we want to toss in the ashes and fingers of Thug, it's going to be quite hard to get a kick out of much of anything. What is to be done?
Has justice been appeased, and the true guilty party been punished?
And what is to become of the sad Pikesfan murder?
Hernan de History Guy Calamari
Squid Baron |
It is obvious that whatever demonic spirit that is in allegiance with you is opposed to the will of Togas, since this demon acted to thrwart that will.
You must have made a most heinous of a pact with that foul spirit to induce it become an enemy of Togas. As such, you obviously wish to be an enemy of Togas, praying to evil spirits to thwart his will.
I wonder how Lord Togas and his High Priest will react to this. Though you have been, by all appearences, an upstanding and patriotic citizen of the Iberia tribe, this atrocity may go too far to even save one so liked as you.
Should your life be spared, it would be the ultimate height of mercy... I suggest you pray to spirits more aligned with the will of Togas in the future...
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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:24
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Last edited by History Guy on 06-12-2002 at 04:55
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03-12-2002 09:32
]
But I’m so starving I’ll just have to pick them out. 
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