10-03-2003 07:07									#1
	Help a husband to understand PMS Full PM-box? Change here!

I happen to be one of those women who get PMS really bad. I have only been married 3 months and until we got married he was a confirmed batchelor. Since we got married he has now been indoctrinated into the wonderful world of asking.........."honey why is there suddenly so much chocolate in the frige?" OOOopsss well......that would be me

This would be the second day. After the exorcist woman made an apperance ohhhhhhhh about 12 times yesterday, and the tears and the mood swings......yes after everything calmed down and we were cooking a late night snack, he calmly asked me if this was going to be an every month thing because he just didn't understand why I had to act that way and couldn't I just control it?

NEWSFLASH SPARKY!! NO! I can't. I've tried to explain to him that for the first day or two our hormones go crazy hence........we do. I also tried to explain to him that I am not the only woman in the world who goes through this, but he didn't believe me.

We go to bed and are talking and if course he says something totally non confrontational or emotional like isn't the sky a lovely shade of blue which of course sends me into tears. Again, he can't understand and is completly sure that I am the only woman in the whole entire world that this happens to. I assured him he wasn't walking down main street naked on this one, and told him if he asked any of the guys he worked with who were married, g/f, s/o etc......that I am sure they could tell him just as many horror stories as he wanted.

Help a girl out here and tell me your PMS stories so that when he gets off work tonight I can show him this thread and he will know he isn't alone in the world of a woman with PMS.

Last edited by Tiamat on 10-03-2003 at 07:13

	10-03-2003 07:14									#2
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I could explain the meaning of life more easily.

Just back away slowly and quietly. Hands in plain sight.

	10-03-2003 07:16									#3
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You can't explain it, it has to be experienced. My girlfriend has really bad PMS too. She used to get nearly psychotic, and lay in bed crying for a day or two, and this happened every other month. In the intervening months she would be so incredibly tender that it was a serious risk talking to her at all. Often she would completely misinterpret something I said in the worst possible way, and then hit me with everything (emotionally) that she had. I got to where I just avoided her when she was like this, to the extent that is possible when you live together. Finally I convinced her to try an anti-depressent (for a lot of reasons), and bingo, the day long crying jags ended completely, while the other behavior was much toned down. I'm sure that this is not a panacea, but it made life with her a lot better. Now the PMS effects still occur, but I have no fear and carry on (almost) like usual.

	10-03-2003 07:17									#4
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1) Increase your soy and oatmeal intake
2) Find some Lady's Mantle at the herb store unless you're pregnant
3) Take some OTC stuff for the cramps
4) DO NOT GO TO BED ANGRY

For him:

1) Stay the **** out of dodge until the madness passes

	10-03-2003 07:20									#5
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Madness. Apt terminology.

	10-03-2003 07:33									#6
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quote: Originally posted by Sikander You can't explain it, it has to be experienced. My girlfriend has really bad PMS too. She used to get nearly psychotic, and lay in bed crying for a day or two, and this happened every other month. In the intervening months she would be so incredibly tender that it was a serious risk talking to her at all. Often she would completely misinterpret something I said in the worst possible way, and then hit me with everything (emotionally) that she had. I got to where I just avoided her when she was like this, to the extent that is possible when you live together. Finally I convinced her to try an anti-depressent (for a lot of reasons), and bingo, the day long crying jags ended completely, while the other behavior was much toned down. I'm sure that this is not a panacea, but it made life with her a lot better. Now the PMS effects still occur, but I have no fear and carry on (almost) like usual.

Ding Ding Ding! See I do both. He gets the double whammy I do the crying and the tender raw emotions. He is trying to be helpful but his way of helping is. Honey do you want to talk about it. Or what's bothering you I can tell something is on your mind let's talk. And when I tell him nothing is bothering me and I don't want to talk he doesn't get that one either.

So today I tired to explain that yes, I do want to talk just not right now becuase I'm to raw and my emotions are right under my skin.......he didn't get it.

Then I went the store and came home with not one but two packages of Oreo cookies...(they were on sale) and a pint of Ben & Jerry's Pfish Food ice cream.

	10-03-2003 07:36									#7
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Fish ice cream?

	10-03-2003 07:40									#8
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Jesus, don't even try explaining. It's just one of those times when you have to nod a lot and say, "Anything I can do, just ask. Please don't hold back on any requests."

It hurts less to immediately surrender to her, than to try and figure things out. I bet French men have no problem dealing with PMSing women.

Oh yeah, a guy should never ask if it's PMS. That's the worst possible thing.

	10-03-2003 07:41									#9
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Tell your boy he is a good guy for wanting to help but he needs to literally just spend most of his time in another room for a couple of days and if that isn't an option go out for a couple of hours.

	10-03-2003 07:41									#10
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Stricltly the name of the product. Chocolate ice cream with caramel and marshmallow with chocolate fudge shaped fish swimming in chocolate fudge.

Poor guy...........he just really doesn't stand a chance.

	10-03-2003 07:42									#11
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Ya but you need to do your homework too sister.

Saying you can't help it is bogus.

	10-03-2003 07:43									#12
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My advice to him is to bug you all the more.
You'll get mad, but at least he chooses what ge gets in trouble for.
Like making fish ice cream remarks.

	10-03-2003 07:46									#13
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My X was a ***** at that time of the month....err. It was easy going right after tho.

	10-03-2003 07:46									#14
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker Tell your boy he is a good guy for wanting to help but he needs to literally just spend most of his time in another room for a couple of days and if that isn't an option go out for a couple of hours.

He is a good guy and he has options. We have a huge house and he has a computer room and several games he loves to play online but I think what gets him the most is that he can politly ask a question only to be met with the exorcist woman. He got really upset last night and thought it was directed at him.

I just want him to understand he isnt' the only one going through this.

	10-03-2003 07:51									#15
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And people wonder why I don't want to get into a relationship.

I'm not a masochist, that's why.

	10-03-2003 07:55									#16
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker Ya but you need to do your homework too sister. Saying you can't help it is bogus.

And I agree with you on that point. I do my homework. I do the things that I know will help me like drink lots of water before and during, take midol, eat lots of chocolate (puts me in a better mood) and I myself many times will remove myself to another room or go and do something else. I also am really good about the week to week and a half before of daily reminding him....I'm about to start. But there are times when the exorcist woman comes out no matter what I do.

Now see I didn't know about the oatmeal issue.

	10-03-2003 07:59									#17
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Nice work.

The warning is the most helpful of all.

	10-03-2003 08:02									#18
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Check this one out:

Choco-Oatmeal-PMS Bar

http://www.momsbargains.com/giftsho...andbody/bb2.htm

	10-03-2003 08:03									#19
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I've never witnessed any of these remedies though:

http://www.byregion.net/articles-he...10Tips_PMS.html

quote: TO MODERATE MOOD SWINGS 3. Tincture of the flowering tops of fresh motherwort is a favorite calmative of herbalist Weed. She uses 5-10 drops in a small amount of water as a dose, which she repeats as needed, sometimes as frequently as 3-4 times an hour, until the desired effect is achieved. "I never feel drugged or groggy or out-of-it when I use motherwort to help me calm down," she says. 4. For women who consistently feel premenstrual rage, use 20-30 drops of motherwort tincture twice a day for a month to help stabilize mood swings. Make it a priority to take a moon day - one day right before or at the start of the menstrual flow which is set aside for you and you alone. 5. One or more cups of an infusion of the herb oatstraw (the grass of the plant that gives us oatmeal) helps the nerves calm down and provides a rich source of minerals known to soothe frazzled emotions.

	10-03-2003 08:05									#20
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I've been lucky since all three of the long term relationships I've been in have been with women who didn't get extreme PMS. This maybe abnormal or it may be that we never lived together so I avoid the worst of it but some how or other things normally turned out mild.

I'm not saying it was a cake walk and there were mode swings, occational crying and what not but there was never the "laying in bed crying for days" events which other persons have described in this thread.

	10-03-2003 08:05									#21
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Oh, and one more thing, I believe Eli Lilly has a drug coming down the pipeline, very shortly, that is supposed to mimimize PMS symptoms. They are the inventors of Prozac.

	10-03-2003 08:11									#22
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Mrs Horse gets terrible PMS - she denies it of course.

	10-03-2003 08:11									#23
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There used to be something on the market called Sarafem that I used to take.....basically baby prozac.

Now see I thought that I should at least get a pat on the back for warning him ahead of time, but he doesn't see that as a plus. I'm thinking yeah it is! Or would you just rather I kept quite and just got blinsided by the exorcist woman

	10-03-2003 08:13									#24
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The birth control pill is great for PMS according to the family doctor. Evens out the moods.

	10-03-2003 08:22									#25
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WWWWWeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I'm way past that I think. But that is a thought.

	10-03-2003 08:23									#26
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I have yet to experience this thing...


I'm a glutton for punishment though, I bet I can handle it!
Ahhh my sweet sweet naivety, how I love thee.

	10-03-2003 08:26									#27
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Oh Mono.........gotta love that attitude. Honey, those cute little cheeks won't get you out of anything if your girl has PMS

	10-03-2003 08:33									#28
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quote: Originally posted by Tiamat WWWWWeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I'm way past that I think. But that is a thought.

Some women do take the pill for PMS. The bad news is PMS gets worse as you get older. Its really not fair to expect your partner to just put up with it and it isn't funny for either partner.

If you really care about your marriage, and I'm sure you do, see your doctor and get the problem addressed medically.

	10-03-2003 08:39									#29
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Actually.......(can't believe this is coming out of my mouth) I agree with you Horse. And you did make a valid point, it has gotten worse as my age has increased.

	10-03-2003 08:39									#30
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as ted striker so aptly put it,

quote: 1) Stay the **** out of dodge until the madness passes

.

my gf isn't so bad, actually, emotionally. i do have to be more careful with what i say and how i tease, but she's not as... scary... as she used to be. whether this is because i've gotten somewhat used to it or whether it's because of the pill, i don't know.

there is a strange occurence, however. whenever pms strikes her, she'll tell me, and i'll try not to touch her. it seems that when it's a bad case of it, any physical contact with anything makes her want to vomit (including clothing, other people, chairs, etc.), so.