 |
|
Ozz
|
|
Canada
Mar 2002
time: 05:26
|
|
Ok I need some creative thinkin' from you management
types out there. I want to get fired from my job, but I
can't think of a way of doing it without getting a smear
on my resume.
Why, so i can go back to college and get my networking
/internet programming ticket without kissing off nights
at nightschool and the government would help pay.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Ozz
|
|
Canada
Mar 2002
time: 05:26
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Osweld
Why don't you quit?... |
If I get fired i get 6 weeks pay and the door.
If I quit just the door
It also effects my chances of getting government
funding. If quit i get no help from Ottawa.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Lord Merciless
|
|
You don't want to get fired, because you won't get any severance package.
What you really want is to get laid off. To do that, you can try the following:
- Do all your assignments and have results, just not always on time and in good quality. Companys can fire you for irresponsibility, but not for incompetence.
- Have strange work hours, like from 2PM to 1AM, just make sure you put enough hours in.
- Spread pessimistic rumors to lower team's morale.
- Miss a few meetings to piss your boss off.
- Start some initiatives that will cause lot more work for your co-workers and thus piss them off.
- You can find more ideas in "Dilbert: The Way of the Weasels".
|
|
| |
|
|
|
rah
|
|
Apolyton Prince of Moderators, Master of Reason
|
 |
Lord of the Ferrets
Jan 1970
time: 23:26
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Ozz
If I get fired i get 6 weeks pay and the door.
If I quit just the door
|
Clarification please, (as alluded too earlier) If you get fired for cause do you still get the 6 weeks of pay? Or must you be layed off.
Before you try the real sleazy stuff, try the straightforward approach. Talk to your boss, tell him you're concerned about layoffs. (in the current economy, this is a normal question) If he mentions that they might be happening, you might want to HINT that if it happened to you, it would be sad, but it might not be that bad of a thing because maybe you could go back to school. Most bosses hate feeling guilt when they layoff people. You might help him choose you to avoid some of that guilt.
If you can't get fired for cause and still get the beni's, it limits your options. I would recommend that you continue to do your job in a competent manner. (just competent) and become a high maintenance employee. Always ask for clarification prior, approval during, and fish for compliments after, on any task assigned. Feel free to ask him advice on personal problems. etc. Trust me, I will only put up with high maintenance employees if they are my best. For average workers, they're first in line to be let go.
RAH
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Lord Merciless
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Ozz
I'll already a pain in the ass, I won't work overtime
I'm late, i take 30 minutes for tea.
Problem is they need what I know (and they don't) |
It appears you are the creame in your company. If that's the case, blackmail your bosses.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Ozz
|
|
Canada
Mar 2002
time: 05:26
|
|
J
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Ozz
|
|
Canada
Mar 2002
time: 05:26
|
|
Just when your getting desperate. :0
Saw a contract job for 3 months, applied, Bingo!
Just have to wait another term.
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
|
Daz
|
 |
of the wasteland.
Jan 2003
time: 05:26
|
|
Here are some:
Arrive late for work
Being on time is for wimps. Drag yourself out of bed whenever you feel like it. Stop to run an errand on your way to the office.
Don't forget the coffee
No not for your boss -- for yourself! You're already late so why not stop for a cup of coffee on the way to work? Don't forget to get a muffin or a roll too (crumbs on your tie look really good).
Eat at your desk
I mean your coffee and roll, not your lunch silly. Why would you want to work through lunch anyway? And take your time -- you're in no hurry to start working.
Take a long lunch
An hour for lunch? Are they nuts? That can't possibly be enough time to get together with an old friend and run a few more errands.
Have a drink
What's lunch without a couple of beers? It'll relax you. So what if you smell like a brewery?
Make personal phone calls
If you can't make your phone calls from the office, when else will you find the time? Don't make those calls short and sweet -- chat away.
Speaking of chatting...
Let's not forget about the good old Net. You can go into a chat room any time of day, so why waste your precious personal time.
Send lots of email
Use those eight hours at work to take care of all that personal email. Oh and don't forget to use your work email address.
Download, download, download...
Your connection is much faster at work than on your home pc. And besides, there are some things you wouldn't want your significant other to see.
Make the customers/clients really mad
There are several ways to do this. If you deal with customers in person, ignore them while you talk to your co-workers. Don't have answers to their questions. If most of your contact is by phone, keep yours busy so clients can't get through. If they bother to leave a message, don't return their phone calls.
Don't ever go beyond your job description
Even when a project is down to the wire and your help is desperately needed, just remember: "It's not your job."
Leave work early
Who made that five o'clock rule anyway? If you leave 15 minutes early think of how much you can get done before dinner.
I wish you success! 
|
|
| |
All times are GMT. The time now is 05:26.
Apolyton Time is 00:26. |
top of page
|
| archivepost |
|
Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
|
|
|
|
|
|
20-03-2003 02:28
(he's a Gantt chart pencil pusher not and never has been a programmer)
Tell the truth. All the time, about everything, with everyone. It works, I know (I did something similar, once...). 
|