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Flubber
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With a view of the Rockies
Aug 2000
time: 22:27
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( cap'n flubber laughed at the latest rumourand
capn flubber sends a message in a bottle)
" The clap arr arr arr !!! We pirates sail all the seas of chiron and beds wenches wherever we goes . . . We faces scurvey, hunger, evil demons of the sea and powder and shot from our enemies . . We laughs at the clap. Tis nothing that a fine shot of our special Xenorum can't fix up right good"
" As fer the girls bein' boys ARR ARR ARR !! I 'ad the pleasure o' their company fer several hours las' nite and the marning and inspected right good and they was undoubtedly female. The cabin boys have their uses fer those that feels the need that way after a time at sea but nothin can compare wit a sexy lass . . . unless its two sexy lasses ARR ARR ARR"
" I must be headin' out. There be a fair wind to make Straits o' the Sealurk by nightfall and I hears tell o' a fair town to the leeward once we clears the Strait. They say theres gold there and that the wenches are 6 feet tall with golden hair and that they has a drink there called " whiskey". Me crew is right anxious to visit and sample their hospitality.
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Flubber
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With a view of the Rockies
Aug 2000
time: 22:27
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( The lookout scoops up the bottle in a long handled dip net and brings his find to the captain. Flubber looks at the bottles and notes a label before taking a swig)
" Only 15 % alcohol and the taste is quite delicate . . . Give it to a newborn to suck at when they are not at their Mama's breasts"
( Flubber studied the message )
" never knew a cyborg could talk in a proper Pirate tongue but they prob'bly got a chip fer that"
(He studied the sky)
" Well ye got the measure of me ye do. The bejewelled cutlass is fer show and inpressin the wenches. Me other sword is fer fightin' and she has never left her scabbard without some blood bein drawn. See this here . . . ( Flubber pulled back his long tangled hair to reveal ragged threads o' flesh where an ear should be)
" thats from the contest fer leadership o' the pirates clans. Hercules clipped off the top and the cuspidore slashed across the bottom. I be a fine swordsman but they each bested me in that day. I cut them as well but the winner was whoever got the ear o' the other"
" Outside the pirates I have found no one worthy of crossing blades. The university folks are all stuck in their books. The Hive folks can't do anything new without party approval and know nothing about individual combat . . . They fight as a unit. Most drone folks are simply not that bright . . hard workers but no aptitudr for learnin'. The cyborgs are the best o' the lot as they fight logically but they NEVER get any flair and an unpredictable, even illogical move turns them into so much smouldering circuits"
" Its a lost art, it truly is . . . Even among the pirates, the youngun's favor thse new fangled pistols. I don't know . . ."
( The captain was interupted by the look out with the shout of " Sail ahoy")
" I can't make out her lines . . . Run out the guns just in case and run up our flag . . . Bring us about hard . . . I wants to be to the windward of her in case she be hostile . . . ."
The ship sailed out of sight with the captain continuing to shout orders whill sipping at the ever-bresent jug of xenorum.
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Flubber
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With a view of the Rockies
Aug 2000
time: 22:27
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quote:
Originally posted by Jamski
* Jamski drinks vintage wine from Earth while nibbling on smoked salmon and caviar and watching a surveilance video of the common mess halls.....
-Jam |
( Flubber was speakin' with the fishin' captain on the trawler bobbin'alongside, tradin' yarns and learning the location of other ships until they happened upon the topic of goods the fisher had sold to the Hive)
" You mean that Jamski and the Hive folks pay top dollar and never once figgered out that we comes by and relieves ourselves over that salmon and we pump our bilge water through that caviar. I laughs when I hears them fellers talking about their refined tastes when you and I knows that its the xenorum me and the boys drank yesterday which adds that extra tang Arr Arr Arr. Them fellers 'aven't figured out yet that we gots our mitts in everyting comin' outta de sea.
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Cedayon
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(A flash appears far above, and a shiny object falls from the sky. The object, a sword with a 3-foot blade of bright white metal, goes point first into the deck a few feet from the port gunwale on the section of the ship between the bow and the foremast.
After a moment the blade emits a bright glow and words are heard on the air. When the light fades a figure can be seen in it's place, sword in hand, and no other trace of metal about him. The visitor's long, tattered dark green cape is blown towards the bow by the wind and the flapping noise adds a reverberation to his's only somewhat masculine, airy voice)
"I've spent time enough on the waves to speak as a man of the sea at need," came the voice, which then switched briefly to a much deeper, gruff tone, "tho' 'ey were diff'rnt waves an' a diff'rnt sea."
Switching back, he spoke on, "Lost, indeed, is the art of the blade. When a man uses a gun you mayhaps will see the sharpness of his eye, or the quickness of his finger, but I daresay that only with a sword in his hand will you see the fire of his heart."
"Is the furnace of a Pirate's heart stoked with the hope of glory, or does it burn on the cheap fumes of wine and women?"
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Flubber
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With a view of the Rockies
Aug 2000
time: 22:27
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The nightwatch guard twisted the cannonades around, the slowmatch smouldering in the gunners hand. The stranger knew that one touch to the cannonade fuse would send hundreds of pellets of grapeshot through his body. He noted without expression as a second and third cannonade were trained on him.
The first mate approached. " They be fine words you be sayin' and a fine lightshow but no man drops onto this shop unannounced. If ye wishes to be a member o' the crew ye needs to see the cap'n. He'll be back in the marnin''
With that , the stranger was relieved of his sword. The first mate looked at it with covetous eyes before ordering it placed in the captains treasure vault. the stranger was expertly searched and completely disarmed, still standing silently.
" I don't know what to do wit ye but a tot o' rum a full belly does every man some good"
With that the stranger was led belowdecks, numerous pistols trained upon him and was handed a tankard of black rum. He drank and settled down to wait.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
About 20 miles away
Cap'n flubber chortled as the line of dancers kicked up their legs once again and drained his jug once again. He looked at his tablemates, the gunners of cannon six as they related again the tale of how their cannon shot had bested a vicious sea monster. Flubber thought of the haul of precious jewels that had floated to the surface , entertwined in the fibrous remains of the sea beast, that now filled his money pouch. Treating the crew to a night of debauchery would hardly dent his newly increased wealth.
The death throes of the sea beast , growing with each retelling, were about to be related for the fourth time when the storyteller went mute and gaped at the stage. This gunner was a mere lad of about fifteen, pridefully attempting to match his shipmates drink for drink. But in that moment he was smitten by the raven- haired beauty dancing coyly across the stage, her slender body sliding rythmically to the beat.
The other pirates screamed their approval as the dance grew to a crescendo but the young lad merely stared.
Later Cap'n Flubber was making arrangements with the barkeep
Flubber :" Now see that you takes care o' me men, anyting they wants . . I wants Cassie and Norrie, me blood fairly boils thinkin' what those two can do to a man . . . . and I wants that young raven haired beauty as well"
Barkeep:" you mean Melissa- err she usually works alone but i'm sure for YOU we . . . "
Flubber: " No fool-- not for me, for the lad. He's smitten wit her, Melissa . 'ave her go over to the table and talk wit him and 'ave her play the innocent . . . 'ave 'er go slow wit him -- I've experienced her charms and know she can act the coy innocent despite her experience . . . Make sure she knows to let the boy seduce her and let him take the lead no matter what. If'n she pulls it off I'll pay double. If'n he's still smitten, I could purchase 'er for him . . . She could make 'im a fine wife . . ."
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Static Universe
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What's a Reis Mark?
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Cedayon
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Captain Flubber's frigate, late one evening while the ship is in port, belowdecks.
A crewman and a bar lass, both suitably intoxicated, wander into the trophy room, the sailor going on about something in a loud voice.
"Arrr... an' then, big as life, a hooooooooge sealurk leapt up from the waves and went right for us! If'n I had'na been there to wheel the big gun around, the ship woulda been doooomed! ... See! on that thar wall, that was just one of its little teeth!"
Surely enough a large sealurk fang hangs on the indicated bulkhead, though the audience is encouraged not to give the pirate as much credit as he claims. The serving wench, too drunk to think of that, is impressed.
"An' that ain't all, lass, see that fancy blade over there?"
He jerks a thumb over his shoulder to point at the other wall.
"Tha ting fell straight out o the sky! Dug right into the deck it did, then some pretty boy appeared in a bunch o' silly lights! Ev'ry-un else was shiverin' in thar boots, but not ol' Bill! I marched up and took 'at thing right out o' tha bloke's hands! ... Now, if ye wanna see a really big sword ..."
The girl prods him with an elbow.
"Eh, *hic*, Willy? I dun see *hic* no *hic* sword."
The pirate whirls around, nearly stumbling in the process, and observes that the only thing on the far wall is a few empty hooks that once held the sword.
"Oh bloody H-"
-----
The CIAC, 39th sub-basement, location classfied, that same evening.
A man is sitting a desk in the middle of a small laboratory, operating some strange equipment. A door is heard opening and another man, this one in a tattered (moreso now) green cloak walks in, about as chagrinned as you could like. The first man waits a moment, then speaks up.
"Didn't go well?"
"That depends, sir, on whether you would consider having 3 cannons pointed at you in response to an honor-challenge, being dragged around by a bunch of smelly buccaneers and put in a cell, forced to swab the deck of their ship - with my tongue, mind you -,being the target in several games of 'Throw the bottle at the pretty boy', and having some woman throwing herself at you every night as a negative outcome!"
The first man cocked an eyebrow at the last part.
"Oh bother, don't look at me like that, I used memory induction."
"Of course you did," said the first man, his expression inscrutable, "Have your full report ready by 1300 tomorrow."
The man in the cloak nods, then walks out of the room, muttering and throwing his hands up in frustration.
Chuckling, the first man brings up a window on a nearby computer terminal, and checks off a pair of boxes labelled "Humility training level 2" and "Humility training level 3". He then presses a few other buttons, and a voice transmission comes from the terminal speakers.
"Yes, sir?"
"Drop another bottle, my compliments, near the good Captain's position - some real stuff this time, get the Qar'ol blood-ale, it kills most humans so it should hit the spot - then break off and continue with the mission."
"Yes, sir."
-----
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Mongoose
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Harrisburg,PA USA
Apr 1999
time: 00:27
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I just attempted to email GT his turn (at his hotmail account) for Alien Waterworld. Hotmail returned it with the terse explanation that delivery failed.
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Apolyton Time is 00:27. |
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12-06-2003 19:10
I should've known the pirates wouldn't play fair 
I just noticed the same problem with Googlie. He no longer appears on the members list, nor on the ACDG civgroup lists.
I hope he's OK
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