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Nuclear Winter
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´´He is a part of the Muslim alliance and traitor, take him away´´
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mrmitchell
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[ooc]Sorry if I'm not supposed to post here (just tell me if so), but I'd like to offer GodKing a little backup here:[/ooc]
You say that GodKing is a heretic, at first, for three reasons:
quote:
His name alone is a provocation. |
GodKing's name has extended back to the beginnings of Spain, before the Church as we know today existed...the Scripts of ancient days speak of a GodKing, and his name has lasted long enough to be protected. It preexists the Church, should I dare speak of such things.
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He made fun with the laws of the Church already published.
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So, more than one husband is OK. Guess the girls will like that. |
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It gets into murkier waters here. Humor--"ma[king] fun"--has been a form of debate since the grace of our God has brought humanity from the Garden to this hellhole we're in now. (Please excuse my language, Officials, but I get cranky from my age.  ) It often helps a cause, or proves a point, and discussion without it would quickly become very dull. On a lighter note, only the gravest of men would not have gotten a chuckle out of that, especially if for his implying that women have any rights at all. Turns to wife Get back to the washing, woman! Whut are you doing in this Place?Turns back around. 
As your last initial charge, you provide this:
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He has confessed publicly that he deserved to be burned at the stake.
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You do realize that I expect to be burned at the stake at least several times now, don't you? |
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I've racked my brains over this one, and I can't think of anything for the poor old chap. Maybe he meant the comment purely in jest, or he could try pleaing for forgiveness for the lapse in his sanity?
HOWEVER, GodKing HAS attempted to flee his trial:
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YOU WILL NEVER FIND ME. YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME.
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And that breaks the Law of the Church:
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Article VIII. Suspects may not attemt to flee to escape from trial, neither attempt to escape trial.
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So I suggest a fair and reasonable punishment:
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Article IV. The punishments the Inquisition may use to punish the suspect are:
a. Fine. Suspects that cannot pay their fine are condemned to serfdom for the time that is equal to paying their fine. |
If I say these things at the wrong time or place, please let me know, and if so, I request the permission, protection, or forgiveness (whichever ) of the Church to say these things, as I am an old man and must admit it sometimes seems like my own sanity has a couple breaks in it.
Spamish Mitchell
Really Old Guy
[ooc]Then I guess I'd be a pseudowitness...sorry if I'm not supposed to post here now, just trying to offer GodKing (apparently still in shock  ) some help.  [/ooc]
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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:28
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If Senor GodKing would kindly ask for three witnesses for the defense, let him do so.
Let him also answer my questions.
Senor Torquemada, please give me your list of witnesses for the prosecution.
[ooc]Protestant Reformation? In Spain? Don't count on it. Historically, there wasn't one in Spain. Or at least the small movement in favor of it didn't hold water...it sank after a very brief time. Muslims would be more accurate.[/ooc]
Senor GodKing, you are a problem. Once again you have attempted to escape from the proceedings, against the Laws of the Church and of Spain, and are here found guilty on three counts of attempted escape. I have been moved by the defense of Senor Mitchell, and will not imprison you for life.
(puts on black cap of sentence)
You will be taken to the place from wence you hath come, and there you shall be fined 3,000 ducats, 1,000 ducats for every escape from the Castle of the Inquisitors. You should count yourself lucky that I did not imprison you for the rest of your earthly life, for that is the usual sentence for such a crime.
TAKE HIM DOWN!!!
Take him back up again!
Now, onto the trial for heresy...
*cough*
Got that list I asked for, Watcher?
--
Senor Mitchell:
On your points:
1) His name may predate the foundations of the Church, but it does not mean that it is not considered offensive. At the time, several philosophers, such as the ancient Spanish hero Majikkthighs, took on his ancestors for their spiteful titles after the name was first established in Spain. I agree that it is an ancestral name, but it is one that doesn't do when combined with such behavior. He should have a bit more, well, you know, tact.
2) Humor and mirth are gifts of God, but does that mean we should use humor to mock His Institutions? Perhaps if he was to mock the Ark of the Covenant, Heaven itself would not be too pleased. Hey, if he were even to touch that Ark, zap! You know how it is. Don't make fun of God's law, or you might be reduced to a smoking pile of...well, anyway, it's for your own protection that we issue such laws.
3) Only a witch or a warloc is burned at the stake. Perhaps he is suggesting that he is such, in which case, he must face the penalty. Either that, or he'll have to repent, be baptized, and go through some major therapy...
On your last point, you are correct. As such, I have issued a fine of 3,000 ducats. A bit expensive, yes, but he has tried to evade the Government of Spain and the Law of the Church, and that is a pretty nasty bit, I think.
Hopefully, we shall find him not guilty of other charges.
--
A last word to Senor GodKing,
My old friend, I sincerely hope that you see sense enough to assist this Inquisition in collecting the evidence to free you. As I have said, I have no wish to do you any harm at all. I would love to see you free again, but I have no choice in the matter.
Speak plainly and do not try to evade justice. Put forth your evidence and bring forward thy witnesses. Do not make a mockery of this court. I wish to help you. If you assist me, I will be your salvation. If you refuse to defend yourself and you insult this court, it shall be at your own expense.
I pray you, be sensible.
Cardinal Calamari
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DAVOUT
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AUERSTADT
Jun 2002
time: 05:28
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Eminence,
Please find hereunder the list of the most possible objective and trustful witnesses for the prosecution :
- Angelica Torquemada, my sister, still bachelorette but did not participate in the contest for marrying Togas because candidates must be below 45. A pity ...
- Domenico Quesecome, my assistant-secretary, was on the verge of becoming a monk when I saw that he would serve the Church much better in this position
- de la Civ, a proud caballero of the noblest origin who has volonteered to hunt the evil Godking, and who knows him well enough to testify on the darkest heresies he had invented, and any others you would like to hear.
Observing that you seems to suffer a distinct reluctance to condemn the Evil Godking, I suggest that you consider that the size of your merit will be seen by the Church as considerable as the confession, repentance and sincerity of the culprit will be inflated.
Inquisitorially yours,
Christofo de Torquemada.
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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:28
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Senor Torquemada,
That is quite enough, sir. Thank you for your list, but I notice that two of them would have to be represented by you. You, as the Watcher and the Prosecutor can not be called upon as a witness. Instead, you must call your witnesses.
And I would warn you not in future to find Senor GodKing guilty before you have presented your witnesses. The evidence is damning, yes, and this man seems determined to be judged a heretic. However, as long as there is breath in me I shall have it known that I was a mete and fair judge, and I shall not have the prosecutor attempt to make my decisions for me. The Pope has given me this commission, and I must see it through. I thank you, though, for your assistance in this matter, which was very great indeed. Thank you for your information. As ever, you show yourself to be a fine son of the Church, and God will bless you, I am sure of it, if ever a man deserved blessings from God it is you for your services.
If it is not too much trouble, find two more witnesses for the prosecution. If this cannot be done, I shall endeavor to look for them. Thank you.
Senor de la Civ, I call you forward.
Before you are cross-examined, please answer my questions:
Do you know the accused?
Have you seen evidence of his blasphemy and heresy?
Are you prepared to swear it to before God?
What is your official status where the Inquisition is concerned?
Who recaptured Senor GodKing on his three escape attempts?
Thank you.
Senor GodKing,
Remember my words above. Assist the Court and this hearing shall be fair, if you refuse we shall have no alternative but to see things Senor Torquemada's way. If you are found to be a heretic, you must be hanged. If you are found to be a warloc, you will be burned. Bring forward your witnesses and cross-examine them. Show us your evidence. Otherwise, I shall have no choice in the matter but to sentence you.
Cardinal Calamari
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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:28
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An Important and Secretive note to His Holiness, Pope Aidun I...
Your Holiness,
I draw your attention to Senor Torquemada's above words, and would like to ask your opinion on this matter.
It seems to me that as the Prosecutor, Senor Torquemada has already shown all of his evidence, and so in all fairness he should not be allowed to call himself to the stand as a witness.
Besides, it'd make an incredibly goofy cross-examining...
I await your response, which I ask you to send as soon as possible.
Cardinal Calamari
---
Senor Torquemada,
I have dispatched a message to the Pope regarding the matter. It is not my job to dictate the proceedings, as there has never been such a case in past, and was never forseable. Perhaps it is a perfectly valid and allowable motion to call upon yourself as a witness, but I would need Papal consent before I did so. It seems a rather lop-sided case then, since Senor GodKing refuses to send help.
If the Pope grants it, then feel free to deliver your evidence. If Senor GodKing continues to refuse the questions of the court, then I have no doubt as to what the outcome of this case will be.
And I would suggest in future to pay heed to the authority of the temporary Inquisitor, none other than myself. 
Cardinal Calamari
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Aidun
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The Hague, the capital of the civilized world
Nov 2002
time: 06:28
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Seńor Torquemada, Cardinal Calamari,
I am not in favor of having the prosecutor stand as a withness. This has nothing to do with Seńor Torquemada, but just with the principle of having unbiased witnesses, like the principle of having an unbiased judge. A prosecutor cannot be a judge or a witness at the same time.
There is but also another problem: if the prosecutor decides that he wants to make use of witnesses in this trial, there should be members who want to be witnesses.
[half ooc]Now that the participation of our members has declined in the past few weeks, it will be very difficult for both the prosecutor and the suspect to find witnesses.
For this reason I allow Davout to play one of the characters that are the witnesses ONLY if he can find no other person who likes to be witness in this trial. If he can find no other person who want to testify, that is his problem and that would mean he can only make use of two witnesses instead of three. That is a problem the judiciary in RL faces too.
To be extremely clear: If Davout can find a second member who wants to testify he has three witnesses: De la Civ, person 2 and one of his own characters.
If Davout can find no other member, he has but two witnesses: De la Civ and one of his own characters.[/half ooc]
As soon as this trial is over I will add some articles to the law that include the experiences we have got from this trial.
Sincerely,
Pope Aidun I
Last edited by Aidun on 25-05-2003 at 15:14
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civman2000
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of the Martian Empire
Jun 2001
time: 23:28
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quote:
Do you know the accused? |
Yes.
quote:
Have you seen evidence of his blasphemy and heresy? |
Yes. First, when he was with my brother, he made some strange gestures. Shortly afterward my brother fell ill and died. This is not proof, but it sure seems so when coupled with more evidence: when I first captured him, he made a similar gesture. Knowing that he was summoning the evil powers the devil gave him in return for his heresy, I crossed myself and thus was protected. Later, when I recaptured him, he tried to verbally curse me, but I once again warded off his efforts. Also, several times I overheard him mocking the righteousness of God, the King, and the Pope.
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Are you prepared to swear it to before God? |
Yes.
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What is your official status where the Inquisition is concerned? |
Before this case came up, I was not directly involved with the Inquisition, I was just a Knight of the Church. However, when I heard of these heresies, I led my fellow Knights in pursuit of the blasphemer. After catching him the first time, we were officially commissioned to hunt down anyone who refuses to face their trial beform the Inquisition.
quote:
Who recaptured Senor GodKing on his three escape attempts? |
Well, I captured him originally, I'm not sure who recaptured him after his first escape (it wasn't anyone from my forces hunting him down), I personally got him after his second escape, and one of my men caught him the last time.
Roberto de la Civ, Knight of the Church
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DAVOUT
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AUERSTADT
Jun 2002
time: 05:28
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Eminence,
Please find hereunder my sister Angelica testimony :
------------------------------------------------------------------
How well do you know the accused?
My family was always located near the King since my fathers duties were basically to ensure the security of the Togas Dynasty; and Godking was also always in the close surroundings of the King as Royal Chamber Pot Cleaner. Consequently, I knew him very well since my youngest years.
When did you first meet him?
I first met him in our garden, which was very close from Royal Palace, once he was emptying the Royal Chamber Pot on some flowers that I was expecting to bloom soon. I shouted to him that he was not supposed to do that on my flowers; he just laughed and said that the King was not able to produce anything more useful, and that it will be very good for my flowers. Then he came in front of me and put one hand under my clothes.
Have you seen evidence of his blasphemy and heresy first hand?
First hand? I remember it was the left hand first, but he quickly did the same with the right one.
What were the circumstances?
He told me that he was God and that I should be happy to serve him this way, and that in return God will make me feel good. Fortunately my religious education was enough advanced not to believe such an horrible lie, and I slapped him with a cucumber I have picked up just before.
Are you prepared to swear this before God?
Yes, yes, yes.
What official status have you in the Kingdom?
I need no more status than wearing arrogantly the name of Torquemada. As we used to say in our family :
We are not kings, we don’t care to be princes, we are Torquemada
Is that a squid in the Bailiff's beard?
I cant remember having ever see that. But I think there are good reasons for this.
Angelica Torquemada
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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:28
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Bailiff! Clean your beard!
(Sorry, guv...)
Thank you, Senorita Torquemada.
This is most enlightening information, I must say, and dully unexpected. I suppose, if Senor GodKing cannot back himself up, we might have to run out to the store for a stake. If Senor GodKing has done this...thing, then it is truly a sign of his guilt. This is a horrifying thing, I know, but if Senor GodKing cannot disprove it, he is in grave danger. Such blasphemy is surely a most heinous crime.
Senor Torquemada, you have until this evening to find the third witness. If you cannot, I shall do so for you.
Senor GodKing, you have until this evening to produce your three witnesses for the defense, and your evidence to refute these claims. If you cannot do so, I am afraid that there is nothing further that we can do for you. You have been most unhelpful in this case, and because of it you may have to face the penalties.
Cardinal Calamari
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ruby_maser
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Fear sunshine!
Sep 2002
time: 23:28
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quote:
Originally posted by History Guy
Senor Ruby Maser:
Do you know the accused? |
*crosses legs a la Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, no one seems impressed*
I know of him and his lineage. I'm a big fan of the comic strip he came from... Oh! you mean Godking. Forgive me, I'm in the process of sobering up. Yes, I know him.
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When did you first meet him? |
Mine and his lineage have paralleled the history of our empire since its inception. It is through our nobility and our long but somewhat limited acquaintance that I am most familiar with the man.
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What were the circumstances? |
The most relevant instance I can think of when we actually spoke was when I was in Madrid on business. I was lost, lated, unprepared, and inebriated, and he was kind enough to point out the location of the palace's conference room I was supposed to be in.
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Since then, have you seen evidences of blasphemy and heresy? |
My governorship keeps me in Pamplona. I have had no contact to speak of since. Though I will say that the evidence against him is as shocking as it is extensive.
I sobered up for this, but when I'm tanked, I have litmus test for how much I've drank. I put an unlit match to my skin. If it ignites, I switch to something less than a 100 proof for at least an hour. If it works on a sober man though, it might be a good way of telling if he has godless abilities or an unclean spirit.
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Are you prepared to swear this before God? |
Sure. I'm fairly accustomed to swearing. Now I have an excuse
quote:
Can you bear witness to the fact that though he has been given a week, Senor GodKing has never attempted to refute these claims other than to say "Not Guilty!" and then attempt to escape, saying that he'd take over the entire world, and foaming at the mouth? |
I can bear witness to many things. For instance, is that a glass of Vodka you have on that table?... Oh, its water, isn't it... nevermind. Such is the case with you question, I am aware of Godking's erratic behavior recently, but I could be mistaking that for Vodka.
...I hope I've been helpful. Public service is a public servant's service. It's an awful long trip back to Pamplona... Are there any good bars in Madrid? 
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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:28
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Senor Ruby Maser...
You realize, of course, that we just dragged you up here because we didn't see anybody else in the courtroom?
As it is, thanks for your very...valuable information. When you leave, kindly avoid the kerosene lantern.
Vodka? In Madrid? Are you totally insane? No...this is sherry! Yes, that's right...SHERRY. Sherry is the real Spanish hard drink, you know, and I must say, it is very good stuff, especially when one dips the thumb in the... Hey. Wait, this is a trial. I forgot. We only drink port at trials. Where is my book of rubrics?
Senor de Nunez...your words are most moving. Unfortunately, as you have attempted to assist Senor GodKing in escaping, I'm afraid you've broken one of the laws of the land. Luckily, the charge is only a few sessions in the Comfy Chair.
Now, as to your evidence...we concede that King Togas would not appoint a criminal to be his chamber pot cleaner, unless that man developed some form of insanity that he kept hidden from the King. I shall bare such evidence in mind.
Senor GodKing, very well, you have until Thursday to give us this information. The Inquisition is a fair hearing, as you will note, and we will allow you ample time to defend yourself. We have no wish to condemn an innocent man, despite the damning evidences of the Watcher, his sister, and Senor de la Civ, and the testimony and witness of Senor Ruby Maser, who has confirmed for the whole court that this evidence is shocking and extensive, and has sworn it before God. I do believe, though, that there is something to this case that is missing, and if you have the evidence to back yourself up, please provide it in due course.
Cardinal Calamari
Last edited by History Guy on 27-05-2003 at 22:22
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23-05-2003 19:55
, you heathen! 
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