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mrmitchell is offline mrmitchell
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Sep 2002
time: 23:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:48
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Whut would Jesus REALLY do? Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

I believe the phrase "whut would jesus do" and all incarnations of it ("this is whut jesus would do", "jesus told me to", etc.) are wrong. Jesus is not some all-occassions excuse to do things. For example, let's take a few examples:

"Jesus would have invaded Iraq"
Jesus would have probably gone there, told a few parables, done a few miracles, gathered most of the population to his side, and at the most, organise a general rebellion against Saddam.

"Jesus didn't like that [reference to God in vain]"
There are much more important things out there. He'd probably laugh at the joke, make a mental note to bump that person down on the List, and go with some buddies for a beer.

"Who are you to be Jesus and [do whutever]"
For example, genetic engineering? Jesus would probably be miffed at his own pop's creation getting ****ed up, but if God didn't see it coming and hadn't planned for it then do you really think he would be the right religious choice?

Call me blasphemous or whutever, but Jesus wasn't some dude who went around handing out plagues and punishments. He seems like a good buddy who goes by a good set of standards and that's how our modern media tries to portray him. (Aside from the punishing one.) Seriously, do you really think the guy can't poke fun at himself or is so sensitive that you'll burn in hell for making a joke?

Discuss.

Sava is offline Sava
King
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Mar 2001
time: 23:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:50
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who careS?

Pekka is offline Pekka
Chieftain
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Feb 2002
time: 07:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:50
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Managed to post here before this thread got closed

mrmitchell is offline mrmitchell
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Sep 2002
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:51
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Why exactly would it be closed?

Pekka is offline Pekka
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Feb 2002
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:52
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Because that's what Jesus would do

Cruddy is offline Cruddy
Warlord

Mar 2003
time: 05:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:52 Visit Cruddy's homepage!
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Total speculation. Who knows?

Important thing is - what is best solution to a problem?

Sava is offline Sava
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Mar 2001
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:53
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Jesus would put homosexuals in jail!

mrmitchell is offline mrmitchell
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Sep 2002
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:54
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Pekka--Jesus would just leave it alone and bump me down a few places on the List.

Cruddy--

Sava is offline Sava
King
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Mar 2001
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:55
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Jesus would give tax cuts to the richest Americans!

Imran Siddiqui is offline Imran Siddiqui

Deity
The Potterverse
Jan 1970
time: 00:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:55
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Silly Sava, Jesus would just convince all the homosexuals that they are wrong .

Oerdin is offline Oerdin
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Sep 2001
time: 21:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:55
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Jesus would follow God's orders and have all non-religious people and religious minorities rounded up and stoned to death.

mrmitchell is offline mrmitchell
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Sep 2002
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Sava, apparently the thread is lockbait enough as it is And I think he'd just let them go on. Is there really some kind of hideous apocalypse for people who believe in God (or are general do-gooders) but don't **** the opposite sex? If so, where did Jesus communicate this message? It's not really publicised.

Pekka is offline Pekka
Chieftain
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Feb 2002
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:56
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Well I think Jesus was more about forgiving people their mistakes, no matter how bad they were and concentrated on what we can do now, and not punishing. There's no absolute truth, so that's my opinion on this matter.

Paul Hanson is offline Paul Hanson
King
Dilbert
Aug 1999
time: 05:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:58
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Sorry, I can't resist the quote:

"New feelings brewing in Duffman. What...would Jesus do?"

Ecthy is offline Ecthy
Emperor
Zhonghuà Rénmín Gònghéguó
Mar 2000
time: 06:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 02:59
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1. he'd become a rock star

2. nobody ****s with the Jesus

Adalbertus is offline Adalbertus
Prince
Cologne, Germany
Feb 2001
time: 06:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 03:09 Visit Adalbertus's homepage!
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Ecthelion,

ad 1) :
He wouldn't, he did.
Jesus Christ Superstar.

Gangerolf is offline Gangerolf
Prince
huuhh
May 2001
time: 06:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 03:12
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Got spare money?

jesus would give me a billion dollas

Immortal Wombat is offline Immortal Wombat
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Dec 2000
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 03:16 Visit Immortal Wombat's homepage!
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Jesus would spell "what" correctly.

Gangerolf is offline Gangerolf
Prince
huuhh
May 2001
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 03:20
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Got spare money?

but what would jebus do?

mrmitchell is offline mrmitchell
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Sep 2002
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 03:22
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He'd think about it for a minute and forget about it. There's a hell of a lot more problems than bad grammar.

Oerdin is offline Oerdin
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Sep 2001
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 03:23
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Jebus is the southern red neck version of Jesus so I imagine Jebus would marry his sister or something.

MrFun is offline MrFun
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Nov 2000
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 03:29 Visit MrFun's homepage!
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quote:
Originally posted by Sava
Jesus would put homosexuals in jail!


Actually, I think Jesus found those hairy, masculine fishing men attractive.

JCG is offline JCG
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Feb 2002
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 03:38
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nobody but "Jesus himself" would know what Jesus would REALLY do, of course....but you can pretend.

Dr Strangelove is offline Dr Strangelove
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Jan 1970
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 03:51
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quote:
Originally posted by Sava
Jesus would put homosexuals in jail!


If he put himself on the line for "fallen women" (Mary Magdalene), don't you think he'd do the same for homosexuals? You do remember where the phrase "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" came from don't you?

Guynemer is offline Guynemer
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Mar 1999
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 03:56
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But I don't even believe in Jebus.

Lonestar is offline Lonestar
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AECCP Dark Lord of the Sith
Aug 2000
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 04:03 Visit Lonestar's homepage!
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quote:
Originally posted by MrFun


Actually, I think Jesus found those hairy, masculine fishing men attractive.


Yep, you guessed it....


MrFun is going to Hell.

The diplomat is offline The diplomat
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Sep 1999
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 04:22
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It is wrong to even ask "what would Jesus do?" because there is no way at all to know. Jesus is God. We have no way of knowing what He would do, nor do we have the right to speak for Him.

mrmitchell is offline mrmitchell
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Sep 2002
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  Old Post 04-07-2003 04:24
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Yes, diplo, but this thread is about speculation about whut he would do. I don't see him as the "all-punishing" dude, and apparently I'm not alone.

Kuciwalker is offline Kuciwalker
Emperor
of Schmooism
Feb 2001
time: 00:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 04:34
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Re: Whut would Jesus REALLY do? Put an end to popups!

quote:
Originally posted by mrmitchell
"Jesus would have invaded Iraq"
Jesus would have probably gone there, told a few parables, done a few miracles, gathered most of the population to his side, and at the most, organise a general rebellion against Saddam.


No rebellion. He would have protested and gotten shot.

Spiffor is offline Spiffor
Emperor
CPA - Evil Clone brigade
Nov 2001
time: 06:29
  Old Post 04-07-2003 04:41
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Jusus wuuld huvu turnud ull vuwuls untu "u", thut's fur suru.

 
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