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mindseye
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A Yankee living in Shanghai
Apr 1999
time: 13:29
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I think the biggest problems are:
* Number One Problem: obsession with "fitness". Back in San Francisco, a lot of gay guys looked like cartoon bulldogs, with enormous, unnaturally disproportional chests and upper arms, the rest of their body normal sized. I knew of guys who were spending six or more hours a day in the gym (not to mention popping steroids) in order to get that look. Guys with "normal builds" (hello!) gradually faded into the fringes. This (IMO) bizarre look also includes shaving/waxing one's body hair, sometimes even forearm hair. Pubic hair gets a "crewcut". Don't believe me? Watch any mainstream gay porn from the last 3-5 years. See any chest hair? Untrimmed pubes?
I recall that during my last couple of years in SF, I had one date astonished that I hadn't cut off my pubic hair, another wouldn't date me unless I first told him my chest measurement, more than a few were aghast that I had no gym membership (in return I asked them if they had a library membership, of course they didn't).
I completely understand where this obsession came from (reaction to AIDS, extreme faddishness in the gay community stemming from outcasts' desire to belong, etc), nonetheless I think it's very unhealthy, not to mention an enormous waste of time and resources.
* Ageism - in San Francisco there is a club for "senior" gay citizens, it's called "G40+" as in, men over forty! In the 80s, older men were more stigmatized, called "trolls" and the like. It's getting better (now they are "polar bears" and "mature men"), but the obsession with youth is still an issue.
* Drugs/Alcoholism - getting better, but still too much, still too glamorized.
* Depersonalization of sex - let guys do whatever they want sexually, and some become compulsive sex addicts. For too many gay guys, sex is reduced to something like eating a candy bar. At its extremes, this devolves into highly risky activity such as "barebacking". For these guys, sex is a brief, physical thing, like shaking someone's hand. Foreplay? Romance? Eroticism? What are those? This may help explain why, in my experience, bisexual guys are usually better in bed than gay guys who have never been with a woman.
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Boris Godunov
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Portland, OR
Aug 2001
time: 00:29
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Tolerated racism is the big, unspoken bogeyman of the gay community, at least here in the U.S. Black gay men are treated like **** most of the time, while Hispanics and Asians are treated like fetish objects. The young, fit white guy golden boy is the ideal, and that's what everyone either clamors to be or get in the sack.
But the biggest worry, IMO, is the increasingly lax attitudes towards safe sex by the younger generation of gays. For some reason, the current 18-22 set is ignoring the health risks and having unprotected sex, which is causing the AIDS transmission rates to creep back up again among gays. Stupidity.
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MrFun
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of Iowa
Nov 2000
time: 23:29
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quote:
Originally posted by mindseye
I think the biggest problems are:
* Number One Problem: obsession with "fitness". Back in San Francisco, a lot of gay guys looked like cartoon bulldogs, with enormous, unnaturally disproportional chests and upper arms, the rest of their body normal sized. I knew of guys who were spending six or more hours a day in the gym (not to mention popping steroids) in order to get that look. Guys with "normal builds" (hello!) gradually faded into the fringes. This (IMO) bizarre look also includes shaving/waxing one's body hair, sometimes even forearm hair. Pubic hair gets a "crewcut". Don't believe me? Watch any mainstream gay porn from the last 3-5 years. See any chest hair? Untrimmed pubes?
I recall that during my last couple of years in SF, I had one date astonished that I hadn't cut off my pubic hair, another wouldn't date me unless I first told him my chest measurement, more than a few were aghast that I had no gym membership (in return I asked them if they had a library membership, of course they didn't).
I completely understand where this obsession came from (reaction to AIDS, extreme faddishness in the gay community stemming from outcasts' desire to belong, etc), nonetheless I think it's very unhealthy, not to mention an enormous waste of time and resources.
* Ageism - in San Francisco there is a club for "senior" gay citizens, it's called "G40+" as in, men over forty! In the 80s, older men were more stigmatized, called "trolls" and the like. It's getting better (now they are "polar bears" and "mature men"), but the obsession with youth is still an issue.
* Drugs/Alcoholism - getting better, but still too much, still too glamorized.
* Depersonalization of sex - let guys do whatever they want sexually, and some become compulsive sex addicts. For too many gay guys, sex is reduced to something like eating a candy bar. At its extremes, this devolves into highly risky activity such as "barebacking". For these guys, sex is a brief, physical thing, like shaking someone's hand. Foreplay? Romance? Eroticism? What are those? This may help explain why, in my experience, bisexual guys are usually better in bed than gay guys who have never been with a woman. |
Barebacking is something that needs to be frowned upon when it comes to casual sex.
And Boris Godunov, yeah -- unfortunately in the information age about AIDS, there are people who shut their eyes to ignore reality.
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Zylka
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Oh yeah, amyl nitrite
There always seems to be one weirdo elementary teacher offering me poppers at club events
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12-07-2003 07:52
)
ops: that's tax-free! 
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