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Jon Miller
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quote:
Originally posted by st_swithin
I'm NOT (ABSOLUTELY NOT, WHETHER YOU WANT TO BELIEVE IT OR NOT), but since most guys are bigger than me, I don't trust them not to beat me.
In fact, I'm finding that men do that to me pretty much any time I let them anywhere near me, either mentally or physically.
Mentally, I really just can't take no more. Two serious suicide attempts were enough for me, thanks.
Physically, well, I can take most girls on, no problem, but most guys, as I said, both outweigh and outheight me.
I'm not a gambling person - I'd rather take a safe bet than double down on a possible blackjack. |
I more than willing to beleive you, your post (and one other) just seemed to suggest it (And so I wondered)
wtf is up with people beating on you (emotionally or physically)
it sounds more like you found some pretty shity people rather than something about you requires guys to pick on you
(I can understand you wanting to take a break though)
I know a lot (well, not a ton, but a decent ammount) of really really nice guys who would not hurt anyone
and from what I have seen, there are just as many shity women out there as guys
and women can be physically mean also
Jon Miller
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
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That's one way of putting it, I suppose.
I guess I had what's called a 'starter marriage,' but I consider it more a 'starter life.'
At least I already fvcked up as badly as I possibly can. It can only get better from here, right?
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Jon Miller
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yah, hopefully
suicide is bad and I don't think is ever the best answer, even though sometimes it seems like it is
taking it easy for a while and just being with people who are really positive would probably be a good thing (or alone works some too, especialyl if you don't know anyone really positive)
Jon Miller
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Jon Miller
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sorry if I sound a bit harsh
I am not always the most smooth
Jon Miller
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
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WHEW!! That's a relief, because I was really, really, REALLY starting to worry.
I was pretty sure that this handbasket I'm didn't have a return fare.
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
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is for horses and cows like Jennifer Lopez, right?
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Jon Miller
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quote:
Originally posted by st_swithin
WHEW!! That's a relief, because I was really, really, REALLY starting to worry.
I was pretty sure that this handbasket I'm didn't have a return fare. |
it does
and I like you being on apolyton, and if you stopped posting I would miss your posts
I am sure that your RL will get better too, often times those who feel down can't see the way out, but it is there
Jon Miller
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
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Zylka - are you ok? You seem to be having trouble with your voice rec sw.
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Sikander
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Boulder, Colorado, United Snakes of America
Jan 2000
time: 22:29
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quote:
Originally posted by st_swithin
Sikander: you let your gf chase your friends off? You must think an awful lot of your gf's opinions to decide that you don't need a friend's advice.
Either that, or you're really whipped. But if you're happy whipped, like Cool Whip, then more power to her! |
My GF was the new girl in my life at the time, and she was probably correct in seeing that Darci and I were a little too close for comfort. Darci was married to a good friend of mine, but they were having trouble and broke up not too long after I started seeing my GF. I was too open to persuasion vis a vis Darci at the time and knew that it would be easy to get with her while she was on the rebound, but very difficult to maintain a relationship with her under those circumstances, not to mention maintaining a relationship with my GF. As we have been together for more than 5 years since that time, I think things have worked out fine.
I gave my GF a lot of hell about her behavior at the time, and to her credit she hasn't had another sh!t fit about any of my other female friends, who mostly happen to be a lot younger than my GF (and me for that matter) and gorgeous. So she has some ability to trust me and restrain herself. If she didn't I would have given her the boot years ago, as I do need my friends to get by.
So I guess that makes me cool whipped. I'm cool with it for now, and even if we were to break up I wouldn't regret having had this relationship or forgoing those relationships that I would or might have had in its stead.
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
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You're just lucky neither were pathological liars, which in my case, causes me to place an ENORMOUS wall between me and the rest of humanity.
"A deserted island is just solitary confinement in prison without the walls." -Fozzie the Bear
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Zylka
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How about a medicinal back-rub?
-Doc
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Jon Miller
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the wall will be good for a while
just don't let it keep you from enjoying life, once things have calmed down inside
Jon Miller
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
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Andy, I really, really, really hate you.
Really.
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Jon Miller
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venting can be good
Jon Miller
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Zylka
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Indeed
Talk to you guys soon, and take care sweetheart
:zzzzzzz:
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
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Yes, and note the conviction in my voice. Oh, I am SO good at hating people.
Nope, still hate you, Andy. Thought I was getting over it, but I still hate you. My hands really hurt. I think I can only type like 60 wpm now. Really, really hate you.
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Jon Miller
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pain can last a long time
it can be got past though
Jon Miller
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
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Yeah, mine lasted about all of 3 hours.
I really gotta get better at holding grudges.
Want...to..hate...can't...hate...must...hate....still...can't....hate....must...type.....like..........THIS!
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Zylka
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You might want to look into some pharmaceutical MDMA. I might want to look into some more benzos.
-Doc
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Zylka
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Self medicating is what Doctors naturally do. Yet if I can't have benzos, hallucinatory pseudo benzos just might do.
I need a milkshake, in fact?
-Doc
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
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And I still need a cigarette, but someone smoked all of mine. I have NO idea who that might've been.
Benzos are probably ok, but lidocaine might be better.
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
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Last update on this topic before I shut the he11 up about it:
I told my (soon-to-be-ex) husband everything I've told you peeps on 'poly. I wrote a bunch of it in a linear format so that I could try to condense some of my somewhat prolific ramblings. This is the most hysterically classic response I could have every heard:
"I'm not calling you a liar, I'm just saying I don't believe any of it." - Christopher Blair Hewish
I still can't stop laughing.
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
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Yeah, but 'RAGE' is a subset of both A AND B.
I'm still hoping to meet the right person.
At this rate, I'll be a good-lookin' raisin when it happens, but if he's a bran flake, it might work out for the best.
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30-07-2003 12:25
, but if there's other stuff, I don't know.
I don't understand why you think mirage is the ruination of women… I suppose if you really are lost in the desert without water and see a mirage that would be bad. But nowadays most people are driving through the desert and in passing say, "Look, a mirage." I hope you get over your fear of mirages soon…
Oh, marriage… nevermind.
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