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Japher
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Ook! Ook! Ack! Ack! Ack!
Jun 2002
time: 05:29
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Now that teachers can't beat the heck out students anymore, and it's a real crying shame, and parents can't beat on their own kids anymore, how are you suppose to reprimand your kid?
Not that I have one, but when I was a kid I was an obnoxious, evil, little brat the deserved every wooden spoon that ever broke over my butt. My parents would spank me, slap me, whatever until I was old enough to stop them. At that time they though I had enough reason to actually reason with.
Yet, kids these days are still obnoxious, evil, little brats and they are 16+! Perhaps "grounding" your kid, or even trying to reason with a 5 year old just doesn't work! Who'd of tunk it?
I say we go back to physical punishment, not just in the home, but a schools too. Now, I don't mean beat them till they bleed, or even bruise, but parents are wusses are getting ran over by their kids, and then the kids think they can run all over teachers.
Pro-Spanking?
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David Floyd
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The bottom of a large bottle of beer
Jan 1970
time: 05:29
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I definitely don't think that schools should be involved in punishing children. The only purpose for which schools exist is to teach academics. If kids don't want to learn, that's their loss. If they don't do the work or go to class, their loss. If they are disruptive, they should simply be sent home. No "ifs" "ands" or "buts".
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Jon Miller
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I am the only one who voted for spanking?
Jon Miller
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mrmitchell
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It's better to act good yourself and not throw tantrums -- numerous studies show babies copy their parents -- and reward them for all good behavior.
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Meldor
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Houston, Texas
Dec 2001
time: 23:29
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Having been both a child and a parent, I voted for #2.
Sorry, but children need to know that there are limits beyond which they can not go. They need those limits. Talking to a child does no good. If a child knows there is no consequence of bad behavior, it will continue to behave badly. Rewarding good behaior is great, don't get me wrong, but the bad must be punished. So, what punishment to use?
1) Reasoning with a child. Sorry, a smaller child does not have the cognative functioning to reason much beyond immediate cause and effect. To try and reason with them about not playing with matches, or not throwing a ball at their sibling doesn't work. They enjoyed the behavior (even though it was wrong) and theywill continue to do it as long as the worst that happens is a talk. Rewarding them for playing nicely with a sibling will only get you kids that play well together when you are looking. With older kids it will work to some extent but not if it is done all of the time. It merely builds up resentment and it begins to run in one ear and out the other.
2) Grounding - Again, smaller children don't ahve the ability to connect the complete punishment with the bad behavior. A small child that is punished by grounding, or having a TV taken away, will modify its behavior for a short period. After that, they no loger associate the behavior with the punishment. If you see and bad behavior and tell the child it won't be able to go to the movie as palnned two days from now it will feel bad. But when it behaves for two days and then can't go to the movie it builds a connection to the more recent behavior. It also is seen by the child as a parent that carries a grudge or is mad at them for a long time.
3) Spanking - The feed back is immediate. The smaller child has an instant connection between the behavior and the punishment. It is over quickly and the parent and the child can put it behind them. I made a pint to hug my children after I spanked them and told them I loved them. This was to put the punishment not on personal terms (I am going to spank you because you made me mad) but as an impersonal cosequence of their bad behavior. I have never spanked my children while I was mad at them (not because I couldn't control the spanking). I would let them see me calm down and get over the "being mad" part before I decided the punishment. I never hit the children hard enough to leave a long term mark (redness, yes, but it fades relatively quickly). I have always limited myself to 5 swats for minor offenses and 10 for major.
As a child grows up, and you have taught them well, you should have to spank them less and less. I have found that I do not spank my daughter any more (15) and only rarely need to spank my son (11). I think that by the time he is 12 it will be a done deal. Now that they can understand more complex relationships, removal of priviledges works better, but even that isn't used much, as they just don't do things they shouldn't ro the transgressions are now small enough (more of the not thinking rather than the covert action type) that reasoning with them is as effective.
I havew personnally witnessed children raised in both manners and frankly, I would rather have the ones that had a little spanking than those that didn't.
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Japher
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Ook! Ook! Ack! Ack! Ack!
Jun 2002
time: 05:29
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Thanks for your well-thoughtout reply... mainly because I agree
I would suggest trying to not punish them when they do something wrong (when old enough of course).
By the time I was 16 my parents had no more need to punish me either through reasoning nor grounding. When I erred it was just that an error, and I didn't need them to tell me that they were disappointed in me, I already knew. Whenever I F'd up and came home late, faught with my sibs, swore, etc... I would find myself apologizing to my parents before I even knew it!
I don't know what they did, but I think it was one time, when I came home late, I didn't find them sitting up waiting, and that made me fearful of them... I apologized, and told them it would never happen again. They told me that it probably would, but that the fact that I knew it makes them angry/worried should be enough to keep from doing it again, or to at least call.
I think there are stages, and spankings are one of them.
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29-07-2003 23:25
Hang them by their toes and electroshock them if they don't eat their veggies. 
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