31-07-2003 21:51									#1
	Christian-Creation Science Fair-Warning, I just hypoventalated from laughter Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

WARNING: May cause injury from excessive laughter

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS REAL!!!!!!


http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html

	31-07-2003 21:53									#2
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quote: 1st Place: "Life Doesn't Come From Non-Life" Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes. 2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking" Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker. Honorable Mention: "Mousetrap Reduced To Pile Of Functionless Parts" - Kevin Parker (grade 7) "Dinosaur & Man Walked Together" - Donny Findlay (grade 6) "Rocks Can't Evolve, Where Did They Come From Mr. Darwin?" - Anna Reed (grade 6)

	31-07-2003 21:55									#3
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Uh, yeah.
I'm glad you're the one that's going to burn in Hell.
Don't worry. It will only feel like eternity.

	31-07-2003 22:08									#4
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ROTFL>..........

quote: Our children are the future face of Science and we must teach them to recognize the truth of the Word of the Lord so as to break the cycle of Evolutionism dogma that is paralyzing scientific development and making higher education a dumping ground for the excesses of materialistic philosophies.

quote: 1st Place: "My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)" Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.

*chokes*

	31-07-2003 22:08									#5
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I am not sure it is funny... unless they are only a very small number.

	31-07-2003 22:09									#6
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I warned you! *keeps over laughing*

	31-07-2003 22:09									#7
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oh, wait, wait, THIS is rich...

quote: Honorable Mention: "God Made Kitty" - Sally Reister (grade 3) "The Bible Says Creation" - Aaron Kent (grade 5) "Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False" - Paul Sanborn (grade 4)

	31-07-2003 22:10									#8
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I cant believe the moron incharge has the balls to call himself a "scientist"....

quote: "Patricia Lewis displays her jar of non-living material, still non-living after three weeks. "

LOL GREAT JOB PATRICIA YOU WATCHED A ROCK REMAIN A ROCK

	31-07-2003 22:20									#10
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'Alright kids, time to go out there and parade your ignorance of evolutionary theory. Make me proud.'

	31-07-2003 22:22									#11
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oh my god....
(no pun intended)

	31-07-2003 22:24									#12
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Funniest thing I've read in a long time

"Rocks Can't Evolve, Where Did They Come From Mr. Darwin?" - Anna Reed (grade 6)

Evolutionary theory smashed in a sentence!

	31-07-2003 22:26									#13
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The parents of these children should be arrested for child abuse... keeping children this ignorant is cruel.

	31-07-2003 22:29									#14
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I blame the parents who are to stupid to understand even the most basic levels of science. How can children learn when their parents fill their minds with garbage like this? Why does religion seem to suck all of the intelligence out of so many people?

	31-07-2003 22:33									#15
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quote: Why does religion seem to suck all of the intelligence out of so many people?

Do not eat from the tree of knowledge.

	31-07-2003 22:34									#16
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And, from another section of the site, an article just for Asher!

http://objective.jesussave.us/propaganda.html

(Scroll down)

	31-07-2003 22:38									#17
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Both those links are taking me to an Ad for an Ad blocker (Oh, the irony)
'Tis the Devils work for sure!

	31-07-2003 22:39									#18
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I can't help but be saddened that these kids will grow up with such appalling ignorance.

	31-07-2003 22:46									#19
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For the first time in my life, I'm speechless...

	31-07-2003 22:53									#20
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov I can't help but be saddened that these kids will grow up with such appalling ignorance.

There is hope. My fiancee grew up in that sort of environment...she's turned out fairly well, in my opinion, at least.

	31-07-2003 22:56									#21
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quote: Originally posted by SlowwHand Uh, yeah. I'm glad you're the one that's going to burn in Hell. Don't worry. It will only feel like eternity.

Slow, you are such a kidder!

	31-07-2003 22:58									#22
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people need to stop acting like this is real... i hate when you liberals go and make a parady site then start parading it around like its real to make conservatives look like idiots

	31-07-2003 23:00									#23
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quote: Originally posted by Kirnwaffen For the first time in my life, I'm speechless...

	31-07-2003 23:00									#24
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STILL waiting for that ASTEROID!

	31-07-2003 23:01									#25
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quote: people need to stop acting like this is real... i hate when you liberals go and make a parady site then start parading it around like its real to make conservatives look like idiots

I don't think this intended to make conservatives look like idiots. I'd say this is intended to make idiots look like idiots.

	31-07-2003 23:05									#26
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quote: Originally posted by Albert Speer people need to stop acting like this is real... i hate when you liberals go and make a parady site then start parading it around like its real to make conservatives look like idiots

What does it have to do with liberals and conservatives? It's about creationists, who can be of any political ideology.

Besides, I'm not sure the site is fake. All the links are to real Christian sites. At any rate, this isn't fiction, because all of these are things Creationists really say, all the time!

	31-07-2003 23:07									#27
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I think you'd be hard pressed to say that even the most extreme creationists go as far as the Apple thing.

	31-07-2003 23:08									#28
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What really scares the hell out of me is that these children might become leaders one day — and if they haven't be disabused of their illogic by then, it could lead to nothing but ruin. And not just for them.

Gatekeeper

	31-07-2003 23:09									#29
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Have you checked out the rest of the site?

It looks fairly legit. Seems like a lot of work to go to to make a joke...

	31-07-2003 23:11									#30
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quote: Originally posted by Kirnwaffen I think you'd be hard pressed to say that even the most extreme creationists go as far as the Apple thing.

Product warnings in such churches are not exactly rare, and for reasons that aren't even as good as those.....

It's a good thing nobody has told him about Jobs' "reality distortion field". He'd probably say Jobs was the devil himself.

Not that this would be inaccurate. But.