04-08-2003 07:08									#1
	I will take the movie bullet so you won't have to: Nominations Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

Dear Apolyton,

I'm being a helluva guy, you know: purposely watching a movie so bad that it would be near death for you to see it - taking a movie bullet, if you will.

So what will it be? Spice World? Glitter? Hudson Hawk? The Fountainhead? What festering sore of moviedom are you just shying away from, knowing that it will suck beyond all suckitude, leaving you scarred and bitter for life.

I will take that bullet for you. In a subsequent thread, I will discuss said movie, and fellow bullet takers can join in on how the flickering images just sucked two hours of life from our souls.

Like my sci-fi threads, we'll have a vote next week on the films nominated here. So, nominate those films that you consider so bad as to be unwatchable and be sure to vote for them next week.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Smokey and the Bandit 3? Highlander 2? Grease 2?

Only films with the following attributes will be considered for viewing:

1. Must be an American or English production - no Japanese hentai, no Bollywood film will be considered.
2. Must be available here in Knoxville.
3. Must be a theatrical release.
4. No porn or Faces of Death crap, please. Any film that has as it's primary focus the dismemberment of living creatures will not be considered. Hell, I don't even like to watch the dentistry shows on TLC.
5. One nomination per person, but please, throw out suggestions as well.

JohnT

	04-08-2003 07:11									#2
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I think I'll test your sincerity in this enterprise by nominating Gigli.

	04-08-2003 07:13									#3
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Damn. Well, if it is nominated (and if it is still in theaters in two weeks) I'll do it.

	04-08-2003 07:46									#4
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Bean.

That film sucked in a way most movies could only dream of sucking. At least the first half hour of it. Then it achieved total and complete suckatrocity, and I decided to call it a night.

	04-08-2003 07:47									#5
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I'll have to go with Highlander 2. It doesn't get any worse than that.

	04-08-2003 07:51									#6
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Gigli.

Let's see if you can out-negative reveiw all of the other negative reviews.

	04-08-2003 07:52									#7
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Gigli started at #8 this weekend -- and I suspect at least half went just to see if anything could be as bad as the reviews said.

	04-08-2003 07:56									#8
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Doesn it have to be in the theaters currently or can I nominate MiB II?

	04-08-2003 08:02									#9
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Glen and Glenda

	04-08-2003 08:07									#10
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I was thinking about that, but that one's classicaly bad, not painfully bad.

	04-08-2003 08:11									#11
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Independance Day

	04-08-2003 08:13									#12
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quote: Originally posted by Spiffor Independance Day

That was a decently funny movie!

	04-08-2003 08:15									#13
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Ok, here is one that made me cringe - the new guy.

	04-08-2003 08:16									#14
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The crowd demands Gigli!

	04-08-2003 08:17									#15
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quote: Originally posted by DinoDoc That was a decently funny movie!

Well, it would have made my head explode, but for the sake of choosing an absolutely great rotten tomato, here you go:
Lost in Space

I now use this movie as a measurement tool over how bad a movie can be. It is not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it just has everything you want: uninteresting plot, uninteresting villan, nice guys really nice, overbloated family values, pathetic humour, etc. A real measurement tool

	04-08-2003 08:22									#16
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Gigli... or maybe Titanic...

	04-08-2003 08:49									#17
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The Cell. Although, I actually laughed during that one, so who knows. It certainly sucked, though.

Daredevil?

The Waking Life? This got a lot of hype in the department because of the visuals, but I rather suspect that it sucked beyond belief from what I've heard.

How about the stupid bit of nonsense with the American Idol people in it?

	04-08-2003 08:57									#18
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Waking Life is a great movie - I own it. To say that it sucks beyond belief is ridiculous - for what it is, it's well crafted. If you don't like it, it's not that it's bad - it's just not your type of movie.

	04-08-2003 08:58									#19
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Ok. Like I said, I haven't seen it anyways...just from what I've heard and the previews I saw, I was not impressed.

	04-08-2003 09:05									#20
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Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...71303?vi=glance

	04-08-2003 09:06									#21
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"The movie is like a cold shower of bracing, clarifying ideas. We feel cleansed of boredom, indifference, futility and the deadening tyranny of the mundane... The movie is as exhilarating in its style and visuals as in its ideas--indeed, the two are interlocked... If I have made the movie sound somber and contemplative, I have been unfair to it. Few movies are more cheerful and alive."
-Roger Ebert
http://www.suntimes.com/ebert/ebert.../10/101904.html

"The film, which opens commercially next week, is so verbally dexterous and visually innovative that you can't absorb it unless you have all your wits about you. And even then, you may want to see it again to enjoy its subtle humor and warm humanity. "
Stephen Holden, the new york times
http://movies2.nytimes.com/gst/movi...d=237170&pdate=

I guess we just live two different lives, eh?

	04-08-2003 09:10									#22
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quote: Originally posted by monolith94 I guess we just live two different lives, eh?

Nah, it fits right in under my philosophy of "whatever the critics say, do the exact opposite."

Although, there are always exceptions.

	04-08-2003 09:11									#23
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara Doesn it have to be in the theaters currently or can I nominate MiB II?

You can nominate any movie you want, as long as it's accessable. (spelling).

By the way there is a 24 entry limit on the polls, so we'll see how this goes... maybe I'll have to do multiple polls.

	04-08-2003 09:13									#24
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Wasn't there a Jerry Springer movie?

	04-08-2003 09:14									#25
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"Nah, it fits right in under my philosophy of "whatever the critics say, do the exact opposite."

My philosopy is go see a movie if it looks good, whether critics like it or not. They're only interesting to compare your views to after you've watched a film.

The critics have universally panned Gigli - I guess you should go see it!!!

	04-08-2003 09:14									#26
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GIGLI

	04-08-2003 09:26									#27
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Fried Green Tomatoes. AAAARGH!

No I got even worse for you:

Blow Dry! OMG THAT SUCKED SO BAD! I wanted my two hours back of my life. It was truly HORRIBLE!

	04-08-2003 09:27									#28
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quote: Originally posted by monolith94 The critics have universally panned Gigli - I guess you should go see it!!!

As I said...always there are exceptions.......

	04-08-2003 09:54									#29
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quote: Originally posted by Ramo I'll have to go with Highlander 2. It doesn't get any worse than that.

An hour and a half long film that spawned a 3 hour discussion about how bad it sucked afterward.

	04-08-2003 09:55									#30
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quote: Originally posted by Spiffor Independance Day

I couldn't believe how bad this film was, and apparantly some people liked it!