25-09-2003 00:37									#1
	Telemarketers and what to do about them Put an end to popups!

Found this amusing, and especially topical now that the American Teleservices Association (motto suggestion: 'And you thought the RIAA was the only horribly evil industry association in America') has gotten the no-call list overturned:

quote: Barry Column Turns Table on Telemarketers MIAMI (AP) - Telemarketers are now screening their calls, instead of the other way around. The American Teleservices Association isn't laughing at Dave Barry, not after the Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for The Miami Herald listed the group's telephone number in his Aug. 31 column and sparked a flood of phone calls to the group's offices. Barry told his readers to call and ``tell them what you think.'' ``I'm sure they'd love to hear your constitutionally protected views! Be sure to wipe your mouthpiece afterward,'' Barry wrote. Thousands of Barry's readers have done as they were told, forcing the association to stop answering its phones. Callers now hear a recording, which says that because of ``overwhelming positive response to recent media events, we are unable to take your call at this time.'' ``It's difficult not to see some malice in Mr. Barry's intent,'' said Tim Searcy, executive director of the ATA, who said the added calls will be costly to his group because of toll charges and staffing issues. Barry hardly sounded apologetic. ``I feel just terrible, especially if they were eating or anything,'' he said. ``They have phones like the rest of us have phones. Their attitude seems to be if you have a phone, people are allowed to call you.'' ATA officials have said about 2 million of the 6.5 million people working at telemarketing call centers across the nation will lose their jobs because of the rules that established the nationwide ``Do Not Call'' list. Barry also attacked that logic in the same column. ``Of course, you could use pretty much the same reasoning to argue that laws against mugging cause unemployment among muggers,'' he wrote. ``But that would be unfair. Muggers rarely intrude into your home.'' Barry's column is syndicated to about 500 newspapers across the country.

Between helping start Talk Like A Pirate Day and now this, I think Dave Barry deserves some sort of Congressional medal.

	25-09-2003 00:39									#2
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Dave Barry is a good read.
In this he's accurate as Hell. I hate telemarketers.

	25-09-2003 00:43									#3
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I tell telemarketers that I call them if I want anything. Of course I never do.

	25-09-2003 00:51									#4
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http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

	25-09-2003 01:01									#5
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So GS is indeed a DL of EvC?

http://apolyton.net/forums/showthre...&threadid=97707

	25-09-2003 01:01									#6
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****ing with the tele marketters are one of the reasons for living IMO. You can quickly turn a negative experience into a positive one by simply pranking them. My favorite ones are:

quote: TM:Is Mr. or Mrs ____ available? Me: ..... Me: Im sorry Mr ____ passed away this wednesday.

quote: TM:Is Mr. or Mrs ____ available? Me: Yes, Mrs ____ speaking. TM: Excuse me?

	25-09-2003 02:06									#7
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quote: ``Of course, you could use pretty much the same reasoning to argue that laws against mugging cause unemployment among muggers,'' he wrote. ``But that would be unfair. Muggers rarely intrude into your home.''

	25-09-2003 02:10									#8
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quote: Originally posted by Zero ****ing with the tele marketters are one of the reasons for living IMO. You can quickly turn a negative experience into a positive one by simply pranking them. My favorite ones are:

Hilarious. What happens is that the telemarketer will, of course, continue talking to you. However he'll also e-mail around the office that he claims the week's prize for locating the biggest tosser.

I've been there.

	25-09-2003 02:22									#9
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I'll let him/her talk for a couple of minutes before hanging up without saying anything. Ooooo

	25-09-2003 09:10									#10
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quote: Originally posted by Gangerolf I'll let him/her talk for a couple of minutes before hanging up without saying anything. Ooooo

My wife did even better than that to one caller. When the guy started his spiel, she put the phone down quietly and went back to what she'd been doing. About five minutes later she picked up the phone and heard the guy saying "Mrs. Little? Mrs. Little?" She said "yes. . .", and the guy started right in again. So she put the phone down again, and five minutes later. . . the process repeated three or four times before she finally hung up.

	25-09-2003 09:15									#11
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quote: Hilarious. What happens is that the telemarketer will, of course, continue talking to you. However he'll also e-mail around the office that he claims the week's prize for locating the biggest tosser. I've been there.

Yeah I know. Ive had some that starts swearing and threathening me with all sorts of things. Ive had some that even called back to just say nasty things to me. I'm doing this for jest so anything they do really doesnt affect me. I dont care cause I just hang up on them. Ppl lose their temper for some reason when you hang up on them while theyre still talking.

quote: Originally posted by Gangerolf I'll let him/her talk for a couple of minutes before hanging up without saying anything. Ooooo

continue talking with the telemarketter and sound awfully interested in this product, pretending to buy into all the marketting technique they are employing without really saying "Yes I would like to buy this product". and when they try to be sly and slip that "okay so Im gonna go ahead and take care of everything for you aka charge you now". Say "waot wait wait, let me ask you just one more question: Does this come with a free spoon? Well **** this then why did I waste my time?" and hang up.

	25-09-2003 09:24									#12
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I've always wanted to know if this is legal:

TM: Hello, is this Mr. Firefly
Me: Why yes it is
TM: [launches into pitch]
Me: Excuse me, but what are you wearing? Could you describe what you're wearing, please?
TM: [tries to recover]
Me: Because I'm naked. Do you have any toys there?

I mean, is it an obscene phone call if they call you?

	25-09-2003 09:50									#13
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I'm sure that would be legal. I think the main problem with obscene phone calls is that you call them and do so. If they call you, then they should be prepared for the consequences, no?

	25-09-2003 11:01									#14
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quote: Originally posted by Rufus T. Firefly I mean, is it an obscene phone call if they call you?

Yes.

	25-09-2003 11:04									#15
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"Not interested, bye."
*click*

	25-09-2003 11:08									#16
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Exactly. That's the way to handle them.

	25-09-2003 11:46									#17
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Or:

"Hold on please."

Put down the headset and walk away.

	25-09-2003 14:20									#18
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I ask them for their name and home phone number,

"because I have an opportunity that could be very profitable for me which I'd like to discuss with you at my convenience."

	25-09-2003 15:08									#19
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* Ben Kenobi Dons flamesuit

My brother's a telemarketer for American banks selling credit cards.

* Ben Kenobi braces.

	26-09-2003 20:41									#20
	Got spare money?

Pah. I've done telemarketing.

I must say that those you who want to arse around with some poor sod trying to earn a crust are being remarkably brave. After all, they have your phone number, and if you aggravate them enough you may find that telephone number appearing in public phone boxes and public lavatories on business cards reading "Sexy leather boy for hire".