15-10-2003 21:51									#1
	Rhinos Don't Stop Short Twice, or, Lifes Little Lessons... Suffering from ads?

When your wife asks if the dress looks good on her, say yes. Don't say 'it would have 5 pounds ago'. Believe me on this, k?

If you're with a pretty girl, but a real beauty walks in and the pretty one catches you bug eyed drooling and she asks, "honestly, is she better looking than me?" Don't be honest.

Next...

	15-10-2003 21:54									#2
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

Silly rabbit. You're just now learning to tell women what they want to hear instead of the truth?

Last edited by Oerdin on 15-10-2003 at 22:19

	15-10-2003 21:56									#3
	Remove this text

I've learned that brutal honesty is the best policy. Sure, I caught hell for it in the beginning, but now I don't get asked those stupid questions.

	15-10-2003 21:57									#4
	Inflate your Upload Space

When she asks "Honey, can you do me a favor?" Make sure to respond with "What do you want" and not with "Yes"... They all have sneaky little plans to ask you to do something really big as a "favor", but if you don't want to do something really big they will down grade the "favor" into something smaller... If not, at least you have an out.

If they ask "can you the dishes/floors/whatever"... "No" is not an answer.

When they spend more than 15 minutes "getting ready" you are required to comment on how "nice they look" even if they look awful.

(are these just suppose to be about SOs or can it be about anything?)

	15-10-2003 22:04									#5
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

Oerdin, I thought the Rhino bit was clever...a little credit, huh? eh?

Che, you don't get any, right? Besides, all those hot little commie chicks are lesbians anyway.

"When they spend more than 15 minutes "getting ready" you are required to comment on how "nice they look" even if they look awful."- Brilliant Japher! True wisdom...

	15-10-2003 22:18									#6
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

Ok, the Rhino bit was cute.

	15-10-2003 22:20									#7
	Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

i don't know where you find girls like that. mine doesn't put me in the situation of asking "does me look fat?" or any of the classic dangerous ones.

although, when she's upset, nothing i do is right:
"can i do anything to make you feel better?"
"can you (asks something impossibly out of my control)"
"well, i can try..."
"what good are you?"

	15-10-2003 22:28									#8
	Put an end to popups!

quote: "When they spend more than 15 minutes "getting ready" you are required to comment on how "nice they look" even if they look awful."- Brilliant Japher! True wisdom...

"Too much makeup" always worked for me. That is, if by "working" you mean ruining the evening.

	15-10-2003 22:28									#9
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

"Ok, the Rhino bit was cute. "

I was thinking of doing 'Heterosexual Rhinos don't stop short", but didn't have the guts.

Q Cubed, they have their moments don't they? Reason goes out the window and they give themselves up to contrary emotionalism. Coming down off such an episode, an old gf once told me, "we women have such problems", feeling sorry for herself. I stupidly replied, "yes, and we men have such women." Add that to my lifes little lessons...

	15-10-2003 22:32									#10
	Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

quote: Originally posted by Q Cubed although, when she's upset, nothing i do is right: "can i do anything to make you feel better?" "can you (asks something impossibly out of my control)" "well, i can try..." "what good are you?"

I've been in similar situations where you just know that no matter what you say it will be the wrong thing. It doesn't matter if you say "Lovely weather we're having" she'll still find a way to criticize.

	15-10-2003 22:33									#11
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

Azazel, you're not talking Tammy Fay sort of excess, are you? When that woman is done painting, she's a freak, barely human. Uggg. Though when she asked Jim Baker how she looked, I bet "like a freak" wasn't the answer.

	15-10-2003 22:41									#12
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

"Too much makeup" is what you should say when a particular female keeps you waiting for too long.

( Maybe that's why I don't have too many girls. Nah, I think the fact that I am butt-ugly has more to do with it. )

	15-10-2003 22:52									#13
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

"Nah, I think the fact that I am butt-ugly has more to do with it. "

Nothing to do with it, just ask Bill Gates.

	15-10-2003 23:02									#14
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Oh, thanks.

	15-10-2003 23:08									#15
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

quote: Q Cubed, they have their moments don't they? Reason goes out the window and they give themselves up to contrary emotionalism.

yeah, you love 'em, but you'll never understand why exactly they're so psychotic.

	16-10-2003 06:29									#16
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

"yeah, you love 'em, but you'll never understand why exactly they're so psychotic."

There's a serious Jewish sect in Israel the men of which give thanks daily for not being born women. I'm with them, though I don't advertise. Hmm, I wonder if they get any...

Like any other male, I have no clue. I'm based in logic, which limits me to the reasonable.

	16-10-2003 06:39									#17
	Suffering from ads?

they're just so darned wonderful though.

but crazy.

a friend of mine was asked by his gf as to whether they would have gone out of he were a she and she a he, or if they were both shes or both hes
he answered correctly, which was "yes"... he surmised this because she's a firm believer in the soul mates thing.

	16-10-2003 06:43									#18
	Tired of ads?

I'm going to find me a woman who doesn't mind me calling her fat, and doesn't care if I don't think she's not the most beautiful woman in the world.

	16-10-2003 06:46									#19
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

quote: a friend of mine was asked by his gf as to whether they would have gone out of he were a she and she a he, or if they were both shes or both hes

I don't want the second half of that question... First one is not hard, yes.

	16-10-2003 07:22									#20
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

Q Cubed, I'd have answered yes to the lesbian thing, no to the homosexual thing. In fact, if I was a girl, I'd be a lesbian. Damn straight. A virgin lesbian.

Dissident, very best of luck to you in you endeavor. Along the same lines, I hope to one day ride a unicorn.

	16-10-2003 07:47									#21
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

When she asks you and you weren't paying attention, you are infinitely better off asking "What?" than saying yes.

	16-10-2003 08:08									#22
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

THAT is a really advanced concept Kirnwaffen. You should be heralded as a wise man, and sit upon the mountain. In other words, I like it.

	16-10-2003 10:06									#23
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

Man, the horrors you guys go through, dating or marrying people of the opposite gender . . . . . .

	16-10-2003 10:51									#24
	Put an end to popups!

If she asks you if you believe that there is only "one true love" say yes and that she is the one. (Known from experience)

	16-10-2003 11:18									#25
	Remove this text

Girls know that guys are lying to them when they use corny lines like that. The thing is in the back of their minds they know there's that 1% chance he's telling the truth so they agree to go along with the lie.

	16-10-2003 11:30									#26
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Says the necrophiliac duck man.

	16-10-2003 11:43									#27
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

how about this one, guys: don't date anyone you meet on apolyton.

**evil grin**

	16-10-2003 13:20									#28
	Inflate your Upload Space

quote: Originally posted by Q Cubed i don't know where you find girls like that. mine doesn't put me in the situation of asking "does me look fat?" or any of the classic dangerous ones.

There are some advantages to dating 15 year olds.

	16-10-2003 13:21									#29
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

quote: Originally posted by self biased how about this one, guys: don't date anyone you meet on apolyton. **evil grin**

D'uh.

	16-10-2003 13:23									#30
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

quote: Originally posted by Dissident I'm going to find me a woman who doesn't mind me calling her fat, and doesn't care if I don't think she's not the most beautiful woman in the world.

It might just be easier to date the most beautiful woman in the world than to find that woman.