10-12-2003 00:55									#121
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Right forget that TCO macho posing, it was for fun.

Maybe you seem "distant" to (some) people? And they take this as you being snob? Where it evidently isn't the case? Just making light conversation.

	10-12-2003 00:58									#122
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quote: Originally posted by Provost Harrison I have been accused of being arrogant in the past until the person actually talks to me.

Okay, so they think that your aloof when they don't talk to you (i.e. they are beneath your notice), and when they do it only confirms their suspicions (his arrogance proves he thinks me inferior).

Possible?

	10-12-2003 01:01									#123
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No, you're right paiktis, but all it requires is time for people to get used to me. Even my manager said this. And as Theben said, it is the job of a manager to get the team to fit together. And to this end, she completely failed, singling me out and eliminating me, even though it was a change in equilibrium that was being restored. You see, I am cursed with having this thing they call 'a personality'. I am not a corporate clone.

	10-12-2003 01:05									#124
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quote: Originally posted by Theben Okay, so they think that your aloof when they don't talk to you (i.e. they are beneath your notice), and when they do it only confirms their suspicions (his arrogance proves he thinks me inferior). Possible?

No, the other way around. People get to realise who I am, that I am not arrogant, but actually quite soft. I was just starting to achieve a breakthrough with people, same with what happened at my previous employment. It does take time to get used to a new environment and a new group of people. Once that breakthrough is achieved and I feel more comfortable and others feel comfortable with me (remember, it is a two-way process - relationships take time to develop), there is never a problem. People from my previous workplaces will vouch for that. Do you think I would have been offered my previous job back on a platter if I was a difficult person?

	10-12-2003 01:17									#125
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quote: Originally posted by Provost Harrison Do you think I would have been offered my previous job back on a platter if I was a difficult person?

No. I'm just trying to figure out what their possible reasoning could be, which involves grilling you, since they aren't available at this time. Also to check what level of introspection you've performed. AND because some things you've said remind me of a job I had way back when; the people didn't talk to me much (I was brand new), and one day the manager came up to me and said that the others thought I felt superior to them because I didn't talk to them. The truth was I was just shy, and when that became known everyone opened up to me.

But in my case the manger DID explain the situation to me, and fixed it. Quite honestly if their position is that your personality was impairing the workplace and they did nothing prior to your dismissal to address the issue, they're admitting they fired you b/c they didn't do their job.

	10-12-2003 01:21									#126
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Exactly...I was making breakthroughs with people. I was talking with my colleagues that morning about their kids and their Christmas plays and having a joke with two of the girls down in the lab ("Have you brought me chocolate", "No, I've brought you something far better than chocolate! PAPERWORK! , etc, etc). Actually I was becoming the first point of contact for many people who wanted something sorting out - the raw mats manager would always come to me to sort out document distribution and dig something out of archives for him, saying "You're a star, Rich". Does this sound like the kind of person who is having difficulty with people? There is something deeper going on which they haven't levelled with me about.

	10-12-2003 02:51									#127
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It may not have been your co-workers, it may have been the managers who felt threatened.

	10-12-2003 03:00									#128
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I have come to that conclusion too SpencerH which is why I am not afraid to go further with this, because I reckon they have no backup for their actions. I will call their bluff.

	10-12-2003 03:32									#129
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Ever taken an emotional intelligence questionnaire, or something like Firo B?

	10-12-2003 03:57									#130
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A what?

	10-12-2003 04:02									#131
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http://trochim.human.cornell.edu/ga...ung/emotion.htm

http://www.utne.com/interact/test_iq.html

http://www.cpp-db.com/products/firo-b/index.asp

	10-12-2003 04:03									#132
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Another good one on Firo B.

http://www.delta-associates.com/assessments_firob.html

	10-12-2003 04:32									#133
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Looks like more new-wave managerial bullsh*t to me, but I'll have a look...

	10-12-2003 04:54									#134
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See it scares me. I don't want this to happen again but there is always that worry that I am going to be treated like that again. I just want to get on with my life without these arseholes trying to f**k everything up and judging me on things which are just insignificant...

	10-12-2003 04:58									#135
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Maybe try to see that the things that are relevant to us are irrelevant to others, and vice versa...? No-one is the ultimate judge

	10-12-2003 05:15									#136
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No one is the ultimate judge, yet they are in a position where they do judge, and harshly. What chance is there for someone like me in a world like this? My bad luck seems to be more than bad luck, it indicates a deeper problem. I just wish there was something for me in this world. Since when did everyone else get so f**king perfect?

	10-12-2003 23:10									#137
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quote: Originally posted by Provost Harrison Looks like more new-wave managerial bullsh*t to me, but I'll have a look...

Try it, and see if you think anything productive is highlighted. Believe it or not, there are useful concepts in there.

	10-12-2003 23:37									#138
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Welcome to the corporate world, Rich. It's populated by flawed human beings who can **** your **** up. If you find a place where everyone is professional and friendly, count your blessings, they are few, and generally don't stay that way forever.

	10-12-2003 23:58									#139
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I can give you one piece of advise only, Rich...

Do what your parents did: get a job

	11-12-2003 03:12									#140
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Andy:

Well what a corker of an interview, I am expecting a positive outcome. The one thing I must remember - I have had so many damn interviews I have actually become quite good at them

	11-12-2003 03:58									#141
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Well then become a professional guy-to-be-interviewed

	11-12-2003 05:00									#142
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I already am, I am trying to change careers...

	11-12-2003 05:49									#143
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That Utne test is less a test of whether one has emotional or not, than it is a test of whether or not one is a robot.

	11-12-2003 12:05									#144
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Using, adapting and controlling emotions is very different from not having them.

	11-12-2003 15:56									#145
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SH*T! F*CK! Why do things always seem to work out like that. There were 2 people for that interview. I was the older, far more experienced, more confident and outgoing personality with experience so relevent and the chemistry was so good that the job should have been mine. I DON'T UNDERSTAND how it went to the other fresh graduate. Why is life being so cruel to me? I just don't understand. I try and do the right thing, all my life, but I just get kicked in the teeth

	11-12-2003 15:59									#146
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I have always been one to be a believer in action and reaction. But recent events have defied that. All I see is how volatile humans are and how I am at the mercy of their whim. Sometimes I think death would be better than this.

	11-12-2003 16:12									#147
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Remember, people who are given interviews have the required qualifications. Other than who has better skils and experience, they also want to find somebody who can fit in the company. So either they think that the other guy fits in the company better, or somehow your body language messed you up.

However, since your interview was not taped, we cannot tell which is which.

	11-12-2003 16:30									#148
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Hmmmn this sucks, being sacked 2 days before the new discrimination laws came into force looks highly suspicious.

	11-12-2003 16:40									#149
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I seem to be against some sort of personality fascism. Why can't people just give me a chance? I try and do the right thing, got good qualifications, work hard, but still, it just isn't right, even though other people seem to lack any of these qualities. What is it? When will there ever be a level playing field?

	11-12-2003 16:45									#150
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Maybe your anger and cynicism showed through during the interviews.

Seriously, everybody gets bounced during interviews. As I said, since we can't look at your tapes, we cannot tell if it's your fault.