30-11-2003 08:54									#1
	Apolyton opening sentence contest (revisited) Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

Rules

Each apolyton member submits one fictional opening sentence, theoretically something that would begin a short story or novel.

The first sentences may not be plagiarised.

They shall be judged by whomever wants to judge them, on the 1/10 scale.

10/10 - Masterwork
9/10 - Memorable work of extremely publishable quality
8/10 - Above average work of publishable quality
7/10 - Publishable quality
6/10 - A work with merit, but flawed
5/10 - A work that stabs at, and has ideas of, greatness, but is pulled down by many problems
4/10 - A work with too many critical problems that need desperate revision
3/10 Writing from the middle school level, laughable
2/10 - Counterglowesque prose
1/10 - Furry fanfic

The last time we did this, it produced some really good writing. There were no winners or losers, really, but I felt that the forum benefited by having our creative muscles jostled.

I shall post my opening sentence shortly.

	30-11-2003 09:10									#2
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"That's no moon, that's a space station!"

	30-11-2003 09:11									#3
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If you're going to plaigirise, Floyd, pray make it not so obvious.

	30-11-2003 09:18									#4
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The bucket of chicken was on his head fashioned as a makeshift hat.

	30-11-2003 09:18									#5
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"America sank into the sea HAHAHAHAH!"

	30-11-2003 09:25									#6
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"Two weeks ago, I saw two guys kissing, and until this thread, that was the gayest thing I'd ever seen."

	30-11-2003 09:59									#7
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Sava, try that quote on a board without South Park fans.

"It's another Beautiful day in Lake Wobegon."

	30-11-2003 10:01									#8
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Uh, I thought that the idea was for us to compose our own opening lines. Am I wrong?

(Going with the flow...)

"It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a shot rang out!"

	30-11-2003 10:03									#9
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quote: 2/10 - Counterglowesque prose 1/10 - Furry fanfic

Shouldn't those be reversed?

	30-11-2003 10:11									#10
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quote: Originally posted by Lonestar Sava, try that quote on a board without South Park fans. "It's another Beautiful day in Lake Wobegon."

haw haw that shows how much you know... they weren't talking about threads...

I'm surprised, I figured that would take a while for someone to catch. nice job...

	30-11-2003 14:23									#11
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"Eh bein, mon prince, so Genoa and Lucca are no more than the family estates of the Bonapartes."

	30-11-2003 14:38									#12
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i once knew a man who thought he was ten feet tall.

	30-11-2003 15:00									#13
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It was at the moment where the first .306 round whistled past her left ear that Shelley finally conceded that burning her Dutch Cap had been a really bad idea.

	30-11-2003 15:02									#14
	Re: Apolyton opening sentence contest (revisited) Support Apolyton

quote: Originally posted by monolith94 2/10 - Counterglowesque prose

I'll be interested to see if you can find another non-literature forum that has a higher proportion of published writers than CG does.

	30-11-2003 22:32									#15
	Re: Re: Apolyton opening sentence contest (revisited) Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

quote: Originally posted by Lazarus and the Gimp I'll be interested to see if you can find another non-literature forum that has a higher proportion of published writers than CG does.

Published in print or published on the Web? Published as literature or published as horoscope guide?

	30-11-2003 22:34									#16
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"Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, Santa's corpse lay sprawled across the seedy hotel room floor."

(Yes, it's plagiarized, but I still think it's the best opening sentence ever!)

	30-11-2003 23:14									#17
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quote: Originally posted by Lonestar "It's another Beautiful day in Lake Wobegon."

whilst thou plagarize a radio program?

	30-11-2003 23:16									#18
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Wasn't it book before a radio program?

	01-12-2003 00:18									#19
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Sure it wasn't the best plan, it involved too many levers, tripwires and guns made of rusty nails, but under the circumstances it was the best I could do.

	01-12-2003 00:27									#20
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As the end came, the screams were drowned out by sound of rushing water.

	01-12-2003 00:38									#21
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She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him across a lobby floor, were she pushed him to his knees; she let her fingers run through his thick hair and smiled.


"I'll be interested to see if you can find another non-literature forum that has a higher proportion of published writers than CG does."

It's a jab, Laz. Acol shut down, so it was all that remained... Calm thyself down.

Also, I forgot to mention that I have now been published in my college's literary review thingy, which is, I suppose, a bit more presitigious than my High School's, were everyone got in...

	01-12-2003 00:40									#22
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So there I was, about to be thrown out of a helicopter, when I got a message.

	01-12-2003 01:43									#23
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Just when I thought Monday was bad, Tuesday taught me that you really don't get any satisfaction from seeing your hometown, with its highschool bullies and bigoted rednecks, incinerated in nuclear fire.

	01-12-2003 01:52									#24
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"For some reason, I found myself only able to deffacate whilst under a great degree of agony this morning. Two sets of mens clothing and an empty bottle of vodka lay by the table in the lounge, a table whose surface can only be described as smeared."

	01-12-2003 02:00									#25
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quote: Originally posted by Whaleboy "For some reason, I found myself only able to deffacate whilst under a great degree of agony this morning. Two sets of mens clothing and an empty bottle of vodka lay by the table in the lounge, a table whose surface can only be described as smeared."

Sentence, singular. Amazing the number of people who can't read but think they can write.

	01-12-2003 02:22									#26
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The man leaned back into the cool grass after another fun filled picnic outing when suddenly a sail appeared on the Horizon shattering all hope for peace.

(Yes, I am playing an archipeligo game right now!)

	01-12-2003 02:30									#27
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quote: Originally posted by PLATO The man leaned back into the cool grass after another fun filled picnic outing when suddenly a sail appeared on the Horizon shattering all hope for peace. (Yes, I am playing an archipeligo game right now!)

The capital H leads one to believe that the Horizon is a ship. The string "another fun filled picnic outing" is so bad it makes the teeth grind.

The last two words could be dropped. I can't go more than 3/10 for this one.

	01-12-2003 08:53									#28
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The stone door slided open silently, revealing a very large room permeated with a soft white light.

	01-12-2003 09:04									#29
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slided?

"Everbody knows that God protects fools and drunks, what they don't know is that he also takes a liking to crackwhores like my mother."

	01-12-2003 09:06									#30
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Tsk, tsk. Traditionally, a good story should contain equal amounts of religion, aristocracy, mystery and romance.

So basically, an opening sentence along the lines of "God Almighty", cried the countess, "how on Earth did I get pregnant?" would be ideal.