05-12-2003 17:30									#31
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Granted. The uppity, arrogant people now provide everything that you do - you become redudant, lose your job, friends no longer have any interest in talking with you and you decide the only way to recover is to become arrogant and uppity.

I wish that I could finish my civ story for Apolyton Civ3-Stories.

	05-12-2003 18:32									#32
	Put an end to popups!

Granted. However, everyone thinks it's crap and throws objects at you.

I wish I had a Chinese slave-woman who obeyed my every wish.

	05-12-2003 19:11									#33
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Granted. The women appears but quickly gets on your nerves and you wish she'd just disappear. She does because she obeys your every wish.

I wish could lift objects with my mind.

	05-12-2003 21:20									#34
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Granted. You enjoy this power so much you stop using your arms and legs which, after many years, atrophy and fall off. You are now just a blob of fat.

I wish I knew how to make really good sushi.

	05-12-2003 22:29									#35
	Inflate your Upload Space

you do. unfortunately, this goes to your head, and you try to make a fugu dish and try it yourself. you make a mistake, and you die.

i wish we had fuel cells instead of batteries.

	05-12-2003 22:33									#36
	Remove this text

Bingo. Fuel cells are plentiful. The only problem is that you have to crap in them in order for them to produce any power. One night, after drinking too much, you fall into your sh*tty fuel cell and electrocute yourself.

I wish they made salad that tastes like candy.

	06-12-2003 01:13									#37
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Granted. Salads now taste like candy. They also now lack any nutritional value, and they rot your teeth, and they make you fat.

I wish Pennsylvanians would learn how to drive like they're not drunk.

(edit -- I'm from Maryland)

	06-12-2003 01:15									#38
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granted. now the rest of the world drives like it's drunk, too.

i wish i didn't have to go to work now.

	06-12-2003 01:16									#39
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granted, all the bad drivers moved to Maryland.

I wish for free gas

	06-12-2003 01:20									#40
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" wish i didn't have to go to work now."

Granted, you are fired.

	06-12-2003 01:35									#41
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quote: Originally posted by Whoha granted, all the bad drivers moved to Maryland. I wish for free gas

Granted, but you rip your rectum do to the voluminous gas.

I wish I was a NBA basketball player.

	06-12-2003 02:07									#42
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Granted -- but your team gets their *ss kicked in every game, and your teammates blame their losses all on you.


I wish I had my own little country to rule in real life.

	06-12-2003 02:12									#43
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quote: Originally posted by MrFun Granted -- but your team gets their *ss kicked in every game, and your teammates blame their losses all on you. I wish I had my own little country to rule in real life.

granted. but the heterosexual working class throws a violent reovolution, kills you, and a flagrant anti-homosexual attitude develops in the country. every gay in the country is sent off to work camps. because of their clean, efficient nature, they work well and the nation prospers at their expense. the nation then attacks it's neighbor, wins esaily, and does the same to the homosexuals in that country.

eventually, the entire world is owned by one quasi-socialist nation, with a slave class of homosexuals supporting the otherwise classsless society.

i wish that would happen

	06-12-2003 02:16									#45
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at least you took it as a joke

for a real one, i wish the terrorist attacks 9/11 never happened, as a result of the terrorists having explosive dirreah while attempting to hijack the planes.

	06-12-2003 02:30									#46
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Granted. They sh*t so much diariah that it jams the planes controls and it hits the brooklyn bridge instead.

I wish I was 16 again.

Spec.

	06-12-2003 02:36									#47
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9/11 never happens.
The United States fails to accumulate oil and now everyone must walk everywhere!

I wish... for the ability to know and understand everything.
(No I did not sell my soul)
(Yes I can do this when consciously awake)
(No I was not part of an experiment)
(No I am not forced to work for a government institution)

	06-12-2003 02:41									#48
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Wish granted. Your mind collapses from all that knowledge, and you go insane.

I wish I could have a great car.

	06-12-2003 02:43									#49
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

BOO-yah! There's your shiny new car. It's great - very comfortable, awesome lines...oh, sorry, no engine.

I wish I could communicate with aliens and head off the Dramamian-Earth Conflict of 2430. (we lost by the way)

	06-12-2003 02:59									#50
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Granted, your communication with the aliens has alerted them to our presence eariler, and they attack this year, and not in the 2400's.

I wish that you couldn't communicate with aliens :P

	06-12-2003 04:07									#51
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I can't. Easiest corruption to date.

I wish I always had a pencil handy when I need one.

	06-12-2003 06:19									#52
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

you do. but the lead is so fragile that the tip snaps when you try to write with it.

i wish for a militant moderate majority to write a manifest to maim and murder all the damn rightist and leftist extremists.

	06-12-2003 06:51									#53
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Granted. But the militant moderates, after killing off the extremists, then themselves become extremists. They kill themselves for being extremists.

I wish I had a nonpoisoned, tasty chocolate chip cookie.

	06-12-2003 07:37									#54
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Viola! One nonpoisoned, tasty chocolate chip cookie filled with a healthy dose of Ex-Lax. Needless to say, you never feel like eating choclolate ever again.

I wish I could always remember people's names when I first meet them.

	06-12-2003 07:40									#55
	Get a bigger avatar today!

It isn't poisoned. And it is indeed tasty. And it is indeed chocolate chip.

However, it was made from food farmed on the backs of child slave labor. I hope you like your cookie, pig.



I wish babes flocked to me in droves.

	06-12-2003 07:41									#56
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quote: I wish I had a nonpoisoned, tasty chocolate chip cookie.

Granted. The cookie is sixteen miles in diameter, and when it reaches the earth, the collision destroys all existing life forms.

I wish Paul Wolfowitz was on a small plane that crash-landed in rural Syria, and he is the only survivor.

	06-12-2003 08:57									#57
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Let's see if I can unify this one...

Granted.
Granted.
Granted.

You remember everyone's name when you meet them, babes flock to you in droves and Paul Wolfowitz crash lands in Syria as the only survivor, BUT...

the plane accident knocks your head and now you can't remember anyone's name, including Paul Wolfowitz, or any of the beautiful Syrian women that flock in droves to the plane. Unfortunately, Paul Wolfowitz pulls out a gun and shoots all the Syrian women flocking to you in droves and he escapes by getting on the back of a Predator that is sent by Israel to rescue him. Damn, damn and DAMN!

I wish that I crash landed on an island populated by only beautiful Syrian women and I don't bother remembering any of their names.

	06-12-2003 09:06									#58
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Shogun, you can now remember people's names, not their faces.

MrMitchell, Babes now flock to you in droves, infact the amount of children soon make it difficult to do anything.

Mindseye, Wolfowitz Crash landed in rural Syria, this was used as a pretext for war with Syria.

I wish you people wouldn't all answer the same wish.

	06-12-2003 10:12									#59
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granted. but then hitler showed up for no reason and started screaming about leibensraum.

i wish away all of mitchell's kids, and that he becomes sterile.

	06-12-2003 11:49									#60
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Granted, but in return, you are now endowed with the biology of a woman and become pregnant with sextuplets.


I wish I was an Apolyton moderator for a week.