04-12-2003 11:28									#1
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Were you disaplined as a child? How so?

I was well disciplined as a child. If I misbehaved, I was generally spanked by a belt if it was my dad, or a fly swatter if it was my mom. I'm glad they disciplined me as they did, and I think it made me into a "good" person... wattabout you?

	04-12-2003 11:52									#2
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Got forced to hang around in the bathroom a good bit since if I was sent to my room I'd just read which I'd probably want to be doing anyway, got to love when a parent has to discourage a young kid from reading

	04-12-2003 11:59									#3
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I got pulled from hair & ears and I got a lot of fillips

I was never beaten.

	04-12-2003 13:50									#4
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comon people, i know you guys got beat as kids

	04-12-2003 13:56									#5
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not at all

I wish I was though.

my mother did try taking away tv privledges a few times. But that never worked.

	04-12-2003 13:58									#6
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I never got hit as a child. Maybe that's why I now hit other people. I was disciplined with grounding for short time few times, and losing some of privilidges like 'no sylvester stallone movie for you this evening young man'. I had very liberal upbringing I guess. But I was basically a good kid, until I became a badazz teen.

Unnecessary to say I became a winner.

	04-12-2003 13:59									#7
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although I should admit here that I never really got in trouble. I was a good boy who always did as he was told.

I don't even remember getting punished when I got busted shoplifting when I was 8 or 9 years old.

But other than that, I rarely got in trouble. The laws I did break (under age drinking, smoking pot) I got away with.

My mom caught me and my friend looking at some porn once. I never got punished for that either.

But I like to think I turned out pretty good regardless

	04-12-2003 14:00									#8
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However, I did get the hair pulling, but only small ones and only few times. And that was when I was BAD. I really didn't get yelled too loud either.. Iw as yelled few times, but not like mad yelling.

	04-12-2003 14:04									#9
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Dissident, yeah I think I was pretty much like you, did what I was told to do and that's it. I've braken few laws,but nothing serious and these were when I was little older (a teenager still however). My mom found my porn stash once (when I was teen) and she took them away from me .. I would have protested, but I was too embarrassed . She left my few softcore magz though, I had few playboys too, those she left to my stash and took the hard stuff away.. no punishment naturally but she said 'I thought you'd have some of that porno like curious young men do, but jeesh I never new you had a collection like that!'. I was always kind of a perv.

	04-12-2003 14:09									#10
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she left the playboys!!

spoiled. Damn, and I thought I was spoiled

	04-12-2003 14:16									#11
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Yeah she left the playboys

	04-12-2003 14:35									#12
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@ Pekka and Diss.

Btw, I was never hit as a child
But they made me stay in my room when it was my favourite tv show

	04-12-2003 17:20									#13
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Physical violence against your children is less acceptable than adult-adult assault. The reason being they cannot fight back. The argument for spanking is that otherwise the children would be out of control, yet that is not the case with people I know that were never hit. Indeed, those brought up with an element of violence are more likely to think it is ok.

When parents hit their children, it is rarely, if ever a rational, reasoned response, and usually when they have lost control of the situation, and the only way to reassert their power is to use their superior physical strength. That is a sad indictment on the parenting ability, patience, and communication ability of the parent in question, indeed any parent that routinely hits their children probably shouldnt have any.

	04-12-2003 17:44									#14
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I was never beaten. My parents did yell a lot though, I don't think that's a very rational, reasoned response either.

	04-12-2003 18:25									#15
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Good ol' spankings.

	04-12-2003 18:26									#16
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'When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard really.'

When I was young I was sent to my room if I were being bold. Shouting was also used. As I got older, threats were usually enough to make me stay on my best behaviour.

	04-12-2003 18:36									#17
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spanked with a wet noodle

	04-12-2003 18:59									#18
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Whaleboy, I disagree with your reasoning. Kids can't fight back, sure, but that's not the situation. If you slap your kid, s/he is not supposed to fight back. It's not a fight situation. It's a bigger mistake to hit a child in anger. Or shout in anger. IMO you can shout, you can slap'em up a bit, but not when you are angry yourself.

But... I don't know what you meant with hitting,.... I mean little slapping maybe on the back of the head, NOT on the face and not too hard either. I don't know, maybe I can't do this, I must get a wife who beats my kids in the back of their heads. I think belt is far more brutal than slap. Or thumb up the butt.

	04-12-2003 19:14									#19
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I was allowed to have titty posters and playboy mags. It's nothing in them you won't see on any public beach anyway. Porn was a big no-no though. No alcohol either, at least not until I was about 17. My dad found some beer bottles in my sock drawer when I was 15, he wasn't too pleased. He grounded me for the weekend and took the bottles away, but at least he paid for them.

	04-12-2003 19:17									#20
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This is clearly a generational issue. I'm 50, and most everyone I knew as a kid got punished. In Catholic school, it was expected. My Mom didn't believe in corporal punishment, but my Dad was big on "spare the rod, spoil the child." So if he was home...

Spankings were the common punishment. It got upgraded to The Belt when it was deemed egregious enough. But usually, I just got yelled at.

Though it was quite memorable, physical punishment didn't really happen that much.
I was an altar boy.

	04-12-2003 19:21									#21
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I don't think slapping or yelling is necessary. There are better sanctions, like grounding or taking away privileges. Or encouraging. "Behave for a month and we'll take you to the zoo". stuff like that

	04-12-2003 19:22									#22
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quote: Originally posted by Gangerolf I was allowed to have titty posters and playboy mags. It's nothing in them you won't see on any public beach anyway. Porn was a big no-no though.

Gee, tough life...

quote: No alcohol either, at least not until I was about 17.

Contributing to the delinquency...

quote: My dad found some beer bottles in my sock drawer when I was 15. He grounded me for the weekend and took the bottles away, but at least he paid for them.

Don't know how you could withstand the disciplinary onslaught, dude...

	04-12-2003 19:31									#23
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So I didn't have the most puritan upbringing.. But the legal drinking age here is 18 , so it's not that extreme.
If I wanted something I had to do something (work) to deserve it. My parents were really anal about that.

	04-12-2003 20:01									#24
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The occasional spanking, once in a while the belt. But we dreaded the WOODEN SPOON.

	04-12-2003 20:34									#25
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A little corporal punishment is not a problem. As long as physical harm is not involved. (a red butt doesn't qualify)
Opinions do seem to follow generational lines here.

Groundings and other things sound great, but a certain amount of reason is required for them to be effective. Young children are not reasonable by definition. There are times when they won't be and no attempt on your part is going to change that. A spanking will get their attention. I always tried the reasonable approach first, but sometimes more was required. My wife was totally against my use of spanking as a punishment at first. She eventually changed her mind. Having said all this, I think I only had to lower myself to spanking a couple of times where my daughter was concerned. If she had been a boy, I probably would have done it a few more times.

I'll give more weight to opinions of posters here that have children. Those that have faced the situation where reason isn't effective.

	04-12-2003 20:43									#26
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quote: Originally posted by Gangerolf There are better sanctions, like grounding or taking away privileges. Or encouraging. "Behave for a month and we'll take you to the zoo". stuff like that

There's more accurate term for this: bribes

OTOH, "Misbehave for a month and we'll take you to the zoo" could work as a threat

	04-12-2003 20:43									#27
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I have two little girls, yes, sometimes you have to spank their cute little butts.... I hate doing it, and I never spank them *very* hard, but when they get out of control and won't listen to me when I give them a time out...there is very little opportunity to do anything else.

	04-12-2003 20:54									#28
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quote: I think belt is far more brutal than slap.

The idea here is that using an object distances the one doing the punishment from the one being punished in the mind of a punishee. That's why they say if you must spank your dogs, use a newspaper, or something similar. This way, they don't see your hand as an object that inflicts pain, but rather on object of love. And from what I can remember, this is true. I was always afraid of the belt, not my dad's hand.

quote: Physical violence against your children is less acceptable than adult-adult assault. The reason being they cannot fight back.

a couple definitions of violence from dictionary.com:
1) Physical force exerted for the purpose of violating, damaging, or abusing
2) Abusive or unjust exercise of power.

I don't think punishing your kids by spanking qualifies. Maybe hitting them with a fist, or in the face, but clearly not spanking their bottoms. also, you aren't supposed to fight back when you are being punished, that just isn't the way it works

and finally, rah is right. I can't remember the exact age where kids develop the ability to reason, but i was surprised to find out it is as late as it is.

	04-12-2003 20:55									#29
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quote: Or encouraging. "Behave for a month and we'll take you to the zoo". stuff like that

what does this do? make kids think they should be rewarded for doing what they are supposed to do? that just doesn't seem right at all...

	04-12-2003 21:05									#30
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I agree, Bribes prior for good behaviour is not setting the right example. I'm willing to make some exceptions if they're rewards for accomplishments. But even then, you must be careful.