02-02-2004 22:20									#1
	I've hit a girl. Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

The 'boys are stupid, throw rocks on them' T-shirt thread reminded me of something that happened during the time I was not posting on poly.

I know this girl, she's a friend of mine, and sometimes we go clubbing together. So one time, we are dancing, and she starts hitting me, like punching and stuff, and not only that this is quite embarassing, and annoying, it also hurts. So I ask her to stop, she doesn't reply, and after a few seconds, she does that again, so I ask her again, after a few seconds, she slaps me on the face, I slap her back, instinctively. She's somewhat shocked, and is insulted. I walk to her, and tell her that though I am sorry that things got this way, I am certainly not ashamed of my actions, and she should've known better. To make a long story short, she has admitted she was wrong.

Question is, do YOU people think I am right?

Should I join the wife-beating crowd in the corner, or what I did was ok?

	02-02-2004 22:27									#2
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girls don't have more rights than boys. she asked you for it.

	02-02-2004 22:27									#3
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Personally speaking, I'd have given her a mouthful of abuse and walked off. I'd only have hit her if it was genuine self-defence- ie a threat of real injury or death.

	02-02-2004 22:28									#4
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Hmm... as a child I hit a girl once (she said something REALLY, REALLY hurtful)... and I've always regretted that.

Needless to say, my parents gave me hell over it. Quite right too.

Nowadays when faced with a violent female I grab them by the wrists and tell them to



"STOP!"

It usually does the trick.

EDIT: When I say "Hit" what actually happened was I grabbed for the necklace and tore it off... Messy.

	02-02-2004 22:31									#5
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quote: Question is, do YOU people think I am right?

Well, I know Judo. There are ways to restrain someone without hurting them. Grabbing wrists are a good way.

	02-02-2004 22:32									#6
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While I was raised not to hit women, you have to defend yourself if the ***** gets too violent. It's usually best to look for ways out of the situation like walking off.

	02-02-2004 22:33									#7
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quote: Originally posted by Ecthelion girls don't have more rights than boys. she asked you for it.

	02-02-2004 22:34									#8
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Some women want to know how far they can push before they get it back. They will push and push and push until you give them a reaction. They want to know exactly what they can get away with.

	02-02-2004 22:37									#9
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Probably would've been a better move, either of your proposals, but you all say that generally, I didn't do anything wrong, right? And if so, why was she so shocked

( I won't even get into the whole "why she was hitting me in the first place - just for fun" part)

	02-02-2004 22:37									#10
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As always when asked if a girl was asking for it, I must respond by asking, "How short was her skirt?".

	02-02-2004 22:38									#11
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Sounds annoying night for you. I don't know if you did the right thing or not. I'm undecided, but that sounds annoying. Maybe you could have walked away and say 'call me later when you're not being such a *****'. I don't know. But she shouldn't have been hitting you anyway. Maybe you could have walked away though.

	02-02-2004 22:38									#12
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When being attacked by a lady, tweaking a nipple is preferable to any kind of unchivalrous punching/slapping.

	02-02-2004 22:38									#13
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That Mega Man in Gibsie's avatar is so gay.

	02-02-2004 22:39									#14
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quote: Originally posted by Azazel And if so, why was she so shocked

Maybe she thought you would stand there and take it.

	02-02-2004 22:43									#15
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Next time grab her boobs. Then they go 'men think they can just grab womens boobs, it's disgusting!' so you can say 'now you know!'. Perfect!

	02-02-2004 22:44									#16
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I don't think you were right to assault her, but nor was she to assault you. We seemingly have a problem, which I have actually discussed with some of my female friends, where women consider it more acceptable to hit a man than likewise, even in the hypothetical situation where one uses the same force, or even somehow generated an equal amount of pain respectively.

I think this needs to be address, and the idea of a woman slapping a man should be no more acceptable than the idea of punching a woman. It is assault no matter what, and the idea of differing forces is a misnomer. I'm a big guy and could put a fair amount of force behind me, and yet, if I made an impact upon a female skull, it could well do no damage. A female hit could kill, the line is simply too blurred and the ambiguous notion that men can exert more force I think cuts no ice.

One should also consider some estimates stating that men are subject to four times (thats 400%) more domestic violence than women, though when men respond it does cause more damage (but like I said above that's too vague to use in any logical distinction), and thus women report it more. Also there is something of a taboo for men to admit they are being victimised by their partners, which is another aspect of the testicle that does us more harm than good .

A lot of people need to understand however, that equal rights for women does not mean inferior rights for men.

	02-02-2004 22:44									#17
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

You were dancing and she started hitting you?!? Why on earth?

	02-02-2004 22:44									#18
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Then he will get a kick to the balls

	02-02-2004 22:49									#19
	Re: I've hit a girl. Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

quote: Originally posted by Azazel The 'boys are stupid, throw rocks on them' T-shirt thread reminded me of something that happened during the time I was not posting on poly. I know this girl, she's a friend of mine, and sometimes we go clubbing together. So one time, we are dancing, and she starts hitting me, like punching and stuff, and not only that this is quite embarassing, and annoying, it also hurts. So I ask her to stop, she doesn't reply, and after a few seconds, she does that again, so I ask her again, after a few seconds, she slaps me on the face, I slap her back, instinctively. She's somewhat shocked, and is insulted. I walk to her, and tell her that though I am sorry that things got this way, I am certainly not ashamed of my actions, and she should've known better. To make a long story short, she has admitted she was wrong. Question is, do YOU people think I am right? Should I join the wife-beating crowd in the corner, or what I did was ok?

The axiom is "Never hit a lady".

	02-02-2004 22:52									#20
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quote: Originally posted by Sprayber Then he will get a kick to the balls

erm, actually, I grabbed her boobs once, that was when she went for my shlong, in a similar occasion.

Oh, and why on earth? I don't know.

	02-02-2004 22:54									#21
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*Azazel is a stallion*

	02-02-2004 22:59									#22
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Stud alarm! Lock your daughters and girlfriends, we have a boobgrabber loose!

	02-02-2004 23:00									#23
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oh, come on, people, it wasn't like that.

	02-02-2004 23:03									#24
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I thought the title was "I hit on a girl".

Now that would be rare for Poly...

	02-02-2004 23:04									#25
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I'm sure it wasn't.

	02-02-2004 23:11									#26
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I pushed a girl in high school... in elementary school, I stabbed one with a pencil.

there's a difference between wife beating and a fight/defending yourself...

what you did was not wrong Azazel

	02-02-2004 23:11									#27
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I don't see why anyone should fuss about men hitting women if women hit men.

Putting aside the principle that it's generally wrong to hit anyone, certain women have learned to take advantage of new social norms. In the bad old days it would have been unthinkable for a woman to be physically aggressive, now it isn't.

In my view, what's happened is that there has always been a territorial contest between the sexes conducted by manipulating social norms. For example, it has long been taboo for men to touch women, yet women are generally allowed to initiate contact with men. There's a type of women who revels in getting one over on men by groping them when they don't like it, since they know that social norms will protect them from retaliation and complaining about it just makes you look like a *****.

Even women who profess to be egalitarians enjoy playing this game for all its worth - because they know that equality doesnt really mean equality when it comes to social interaction. Women currently have the advantage in this game because social restrictions that applied only to them have been lifted, while men are still sanctioned for much the same things.

I don't see anything wrong with what Azazel did. If women really want equality then this is the price they pay - you can't rely on the same gender roles you despise to protect you from responsibility for your own actions.

	02-02-2004 23:13									#28
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I might not have done the same thing but I don't necessarily think you were WRONG. I wasn't there and don't know how easily you could have walked away or taken some other action

I have never raised a hand toward a woman but I cannot say that I would NEVER do so if it was necessary in self-defence.

	02-02-2004 23:15									#29
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btw, I wouldn't hit a woman with a closed fist (a punch)... I would only use as much force as necessary to defend myself. And never would I initiate contact.

	02-02-2004 23:18									#30
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quote: in elementary school, I stabbed one with a pencil.

OMFG. God bless you, Sava.

Agathon: I'd be careful not to draw borders between the sexes. I mean, in an ideal world, while differing, we should have identical rights in the social construct as well, right? I agree that this is the case in many cases, and in most cases I know. Of course, the real question, is what will change and how can it be changed, at least for us. Personally, I've taken a firm stance not taking crap from anyone. But it's cases like this that make me somewhat uncomfortable.